God

In the Beginning, Mothafuckas.

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Hello, measly creation. I've been meaning to drop in here, just had a lot going on with my wrath against humanity and all. Irma was a bitch to get going and I've got a lot going on with all those fires, trying to demonstrate my displeasure at the general midwest. I'll drop in every now and then to clarify my divine words, I know how everyone clings to them. Now, by all means, tone down the worship so that we can get shit down around here. Got any questions for me? (You better not question me TOO much, hell is hot year round...)

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PLEASE EXCUSE THE ANNOYING COMMERCIAL BREAKS IN THE CONVERSATION:

As with everything these days, the cost of keeping the Ex-C forum up and running has been rising. Inflation? In part, but the primary reason is this: As participation in the forums grows, costs increase. The Ex-C forums will remain free of charge to everyone, but if you believe this little corner of the Internet provides value to you or others, and you feel inclined to help keep us online, please consider making a one-time donation or becoming a regular contributor. Contribution options appear under the "Upgrade" link above, and can be accessed by clicking here.

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And now, back to the regularly scheduled conversation...



Are you the same God I follow on facebook? If so, I love you. :kiss:

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14 minutes ago, Margee said:

Are you the same God I follow on facebook? If so, I love you. :kiss:

 

For being an omniscient and omnipotent being I can't get the fucking like button to work. Also, sounds like you got your priorities mixed up because I am the one and only god, I cannot be likened to this facebook god of yours. It is my face and my book alone you should worship.

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37 minutes ago, God said:

 

For being an omniscient and omnipotent being I can't get the fucking like button to work. Also, sounds like you got your priorities mixed up because I am the one and only god, I cannot be likened to this facebook god of yours. It is my face and my book alone you should worship.

 

OK God. Welcome to Ex-c! Are you a devil god? Cause I could still like you a lot....but I can't give up my Facebook God. Are you a jealous God? And I will never worship anyone again.  No human or no God. Can you handle that?

 

If you're a nasty God who puts people in hell, I can't have anything to do with you.:fdevil:

 

You must make about 20 posts before you get 'blessed' with the like button.

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Just now, Margee said:

 

OK God. Welcome to Ex-c! Are you a devil god? Cause I could still like you a lot....but I can't give up my Facebook God. Are you a jealous God? And I will never worship anyone again.  No human or no God. Can you handle that?

 

If you're a nasty God who puts people in hell, I can't have anything to do with you.:fdevil:

 

You must make about 20 posts before you get 'blessed' with the like button.

 

I'm definitely jealous, see my scriptures on this, but it can be touch and go based on my whims. Just be righteous, of course. Also is this facebook god anything like twitter god? Because that guy is hilarious, I almost want to burn him up for being funnier than me.

 

I'm a little pissed off now, snapping my fingers isn't making the like button work with less than 20 posts. I might have to monsoon some peon island just to blow off some steam.

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Welcome here you can have some very interesting conversations with many intelligent people and possibly make a friend or two I still can't use the like button after over 100 posts,so you aren't alone in that lol,hope you like it here!

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38 minutes ago, Joefizz said:

Welcome here you can have some very interesting conversations with many intelligent people and possibly make a friend or two I still can't use the like button after over 100 posts,so you aren't alone in that lol,hope you like it here!

 

All your talking is proof of my benevolent free will. Otherwise I've have shut you up a long time ago. Thanks for the welcome, but I'm God and I don't need it.

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1 hour ago, God said:

 

All your talking is proof of my benevolent free will. Otherwise I've have shut you up a long time ago. Thanks for the welcome, but I'm God and I don't need it.

 

Certainly, certainly, now you should be able to answer a few queries for me, you being God an all.

 

You say you are Omnipotent - Can you create a rock so heavy that you cannot lift it?

 

You also say you are all knowing and have free will - How can you have free will if you already know what you are going to do? Free will implies a choice, and if you already know what choice you will make then you have no free will as the future is set.

 

Thanks

 

LF

 

PS - God you're an asshole

 

Kind Regards

 

Humanity

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I take great pleasure in being an asshole, so thanks for noticing. A lot of people seem to worship me for some reason and don't take notice of all the asshole stuff I do. Luckily I can just smite people at my fancy. 

 

The short answer to the omnipotence thing is no. Because omnipotence is a (wait for it) logical fallacy. But if you want to be more prepared for an argument with a christian, you should google the omnipotence paradox. That way you can show them you've looked into it before you tell them that the omnipotence paradox doesn't change the the rock scenario is still fallacious. Another good one is to ask if I can make a prison so strong I can't escape, gets their little minds working.

 

The freewill thing is kinda like having a dog. You're a gentile, you'd know that you're the dog in this example. You know how batshit they go for a bone or a walk....you know that when you ring the doorbell or have a sandwich they are GOING to bark or beg....you even know that they will occasionally piss in the house. So, even though you know they're going to do it,  you let them. What you need to focus on in this example is that, as the owner, you will taunt them with a sandwich and then punish them for salivating. You will offer the bone and then hide it from them. You punish them for shit they don't understand. And they just better goddamn sit when you tell them or they are going the pound. Ya know? It's a bitch.

 

Unless of course you don't treat dogs this way, which just circles back to the asshole attribute of mine. Takeaway, you're probably better and more moral than me, since I am a figment of the dark ages' imagination.

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When both teams pray before the game, how do you decide which team to favor with a victory? 

 

Why did you create mosquitoes? 

 

Why do men have nipples? 

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34 minutes ago, Vigile said:

hen both teams pray before the game, how do you decide which team to favor with a victory? 

 

That's always been a burning question for me too.   :P    Along with:

 

During a drought, when a farmer prays for rain and across town a bride prays for a sunny wedding day, whose wish to you grant and why?  Why won't you make it rain over the farmland and be sunny at the wedding?  That shouldn't be impossible for The Real One True God.  - or are you just another impostor?   

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38 minutes ago, Vigile said:

When both teams pray before the game, how do you decide which team to favor with a victory? 

 

Whichever one will piss off the most amount of people. I love a good ruined day.

 

38 minutes ago, Vigile said:

Why did you create mosquitoes? 

 

To feed the birds and the fish while making you as miserable as possible for your dirty sin. Think about it, you wouldn't enjoy life fully if there weren't shitty things in life to help you tell the difference. That's kinda the good/evil argument, where you don't know my goodness without a corresponding evil to clarify shit.

 

38 minutes ago, Vigile said:

Why do men have nipples? 

 

For the lolz. I mean come on, that shit is funny.

 

5 minutes ago, buffettphan said:

During a drought, when a farmer prays for rain and across town a bride prays for a sunny wedding day, whose wish to you grant and why?  Why won't you make it rain over the farmland and be sunny at the wedding?  That shouldn't be impossible for The Real One True God.  - or are you just another impostor?   

 

It depends on which farmer and which bride. As a general rule, I don't care about women, but I find favor with the occasional overly pious and worshipful one, if she's especially aware of how shitty she is and if there's enough groveling. The farmer just needs to remember that I promised Adam he'd have to work the shit out of the land, I'm not just gonna make it rain at his every request. This weather shit is not impossible, I'm just an asshole and don't care, we've established this.

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@God   You sound like so much fun.  Are you taking applications for any Assistant Gods?

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30 minutes ago, buffettphan said:

@God   You sound like so much fun.  Are you taking applications for any Assistant Gods?

 

I'll bring it up at the board meeting, but the son and the spirit assist enough to make things interesting. Just don't tell people you're my child and that you're going to live with me forever, it creeps me out. 

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Why did you make us have to eat? Do you know how many health problems you created by making us have to eat?? And then go to the bathroom?? do you know how inconvenient this is? And do you know how much money groceries cost all to go down the sewage?? Do you know how much toilet paper cost these days? Groceries alone are another mortgage payment!!! I could have designed better! :screams:

 

PS. Can you help me stay on my diet.? I'm having a hard time getting a few pounds off I gained. Like...just remove my appetite or something? :17:

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8 hours ago, God said:

I take great pleasure in being an asshole, so thanks for noticing. A lot of people seem to worship me for some reason and don't take notice of all the asshole stuff I do. Luckily I can just smite people at my fancy. 

 

Dear God you are welcome.

 

8 hours ago, God said:

The short answer to the omnipotence thing is no. Because omnipotence is a (wait for it) logical fallacy. But if you want to be more prepared for an argument with a christian, you should google the omnipotence paradox. That way you can show them you've looked into it before you tell them that the omnipotence paradox doesn't change the the rock scenario is still fallacious. Another good one is to ask if I can make a prison so strong I can't escape, gets their little minds working.

 

Thou speakest truth here - me wonders if thou art truly god?

 

8 hours ago, God said:

The freewill thing is kinda like having a dog. You're a gentile, you'd know that you're the dog in this example. You know how batshit they go for a bone or a walk....you know that when you ring the doorbell or have a sandwich they are GOING to bark or beg....you even know that they will occasionally piss in the house. So, even though you know they're going to do it,  you let them. What you need to focus on in this example is that, as the owner, you will taunt them with a sandwich and then punish them for salivating. You will offer the bone and then hide it from them. You punish them for shit they don't understand. And they just better goddamn sit when you tell them or they are going the pound. Ya know? It's a bitch.

 

Unless of course you don't treat dogs this way, which just circles back to the asshole attribute of mine. Takeaway, you're probably better and more moral than me, since I am a figment of the dark ages' imagination.

 

Me thinks thou may have misunderstood, or misunderestimated the question - it wasn't about my free will, it was about yours. How can GOD (YOU) have free will if you are all knowing? Like omnipotence its a contradiction.

 

I thank thee for actually answering me after all these years, though having a nice conversation while I was having panic attacks and praying to you would have been nice!

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Hello God. I do not believe in heaven or hell after death. I just believe death as death. An end. A cessation of life. As an end of life and then nothing, which is actually something I am at peace with. My life will leave my body, I will rot and scatter my molecules and atoms as still part of your existing creation. Thank you for not considering me as a waste of space. Thank you for making me exist. Every other thing that comes with it I now accept without preconceived or witnessed based judgement. Only you can judge, what I have personally are only opinions. I can say now that I don't hate you or love you. I just know and acknowledge you exist. No questions.

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15 hours ago, Margee said:

Why did you make us have to eat? Do you know how many health problems you created by making us have to eat?? And then go to the bathroom?? do you know how inconvenient this is? And do you know how much money groceries cost all to go down the sewage?? Do you know how much toilet paper cost these days? Groceries alone are another mortgage payment!!! I could have designed better! :screams:

 

PS. Can you help me stay on my diet.? I'm having a hard time getting a few pounds off I gained. Like...just remove my appetite or something? :17:

 

Clearly you've never eaten a good club sandwich with extra bacon. That shit is worth it. I know I said you couldn't eat bacon, but you need to learn to do as I say and not as I do. I know how expensive toilet paper is, I'm God remember? I didn't even make toilet paper for Adam and Eve so consider it a blessing. As far as the diet, you are a woman and I do not care about your body, especially since you've known a man. I could have you stoned, so.....chin up, buttercup.

 

15 hours ago, LogicalFallacy said:

 

Dear God you are welcome.

 

 

Thou speakest truth here - me wonders if thou art truly god?

 

 

Me thinks thou may have misunderstood, or misunderestimated the question - it wasn't about my free will, it was about yours. How can GOD (YOU) have free will if you are all knowing? Like omnipotence its a contradiction.

 

I thank thee for actually answering me after all these years, though having a nice conversation while I was having panic attacks and praying to you would have been nice!

 

What, you want me to spell it out for you? There is no free will, because I do not give a shit about humanity. Christians love to talk about how they were bought with my son's blood, that's pretty expensive anyway. So at the very least, it's rented will. But as for me personally, I don't answer people so they will leave me the hell alone, there is a REASON there is no evidence for me, because I have no interest in making myself known to you.

 

3 hours ago, anna_nyetsirk said:

Hello God. I do not believe in heaven or hell after death. I just believe death as death. An end. A cessation of life. As an end of life and then nothing, which is actually something I am at peace with. My life will leave my body, I will rot and scatter my molecules and atoms as still part of your existing creation. Thank you for not considering me as a waste of space. Thank you for making me exist. Every other thing that comes with it I now accept without preconceived or witnessed based judgement. Only you can judge, what I have personally are only opinions. I can say now that I don't hate you or love you. I just know and acknowledge you exist. No questions.

 

Congratulations, you're on your first step toward sanity. I do consider you a teeeeeny bit of wasted space, but ultimately I don't care what you do. You need to learn that the only person judging you (that matters) is you. You humans like to call the voice in your head me, but it's not. It's you. There is no evidence for me, if my existence is ever proven, rest assured I do not give two shits about you.

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Huh. An Atheist God. I do consider the voice in my head as just that, my inner voice. I exist that way. I used to follow that Facebook God. Nothing like you at all. FB God is too biblical, trying to prove his existence. You don't need to prove yours and I am actually okay with that (unfollowed FB God btw but what do you care hehe)

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Ok G man,

 

I'm going to hit you with one of the most difficult questions we mere mortals have to face in life:

 

Which came first - the chicken or the egg?

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31 minutes ago, padgemi said:

Ok G man,

 

I'm going to hit you with one of the most difficult questions we mere mortals have to face in life:

 

Which came first - the chicken or the egg?

 

The cock came first, that's the only one that matters.

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9 hours ago, padgemi said:

Ok G man,

 

I'm going to hit you with one of the most difficult questions we mere mortals have to face in life:

 

Which came first - the chicken or the egg?

 

Dude, that's been answered - they both evolved at the same time. Leave god out of this. All he did (apparently) was set a pile of ooze to life... oh and maybe something to do with the time before a singularity.

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Can you program a video game so large and complex that you can't beat it yourself? 

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On 9/11/2017 at 5:45 AM, God said:

...

Got any questions for me? (You better not question me TOO much, hell is hot year round...)

 

Do you have any more material?  Your stihck, although entertaining, is a bit limited.

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On 9/17/2017 at 2:27 AM, ChelseaGuy said:

Can you program a video game so large and complex that you can't beat it yourself? 

 

Never tried that, but I can tell you that I tried to program humanity. It got pretty large and complex....Can't beat them myself.

 

 

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