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sweets

Quarter Life Crisis....?

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Hey everyone! How's everyone doing? 

 

When I was in high school, I thought my 20s would be me having the time of my life, graduated college at 21, and working on my career.  Fast forward to now, and I've been in a 2 year college for 3 years now (due to me changing my major constantly and not getting anywhere). I'm at this point where I don't know what I want to major in. 

 

Some background information on things that happened is that 7 months ago I moved out of my mom's place, to move in with my boyfriend at the time. Which then 7 months later, last month, I realized the relationship is abusive and I had to leave so now I'm back home. Everything in life has a consequence, my consequence is that now I owe tuition money to my school, so now I can't take classes this semester. 

 

That is honestly not the point of this, in a way. Maybe...

 

But I'm at this point in my life where I'm 22 years old and I just don't know what I'm doing. The frustrating part is that, you always here different things on the situation. "Don't go to college if you don't know what it is that you want to do" which I agree on because in the end I was just wasting money with no real end game. End game was to graduate for the sake of having a degree, however in terms of career, no. Which during the time I changed my major back to liberal arts so I could just get out of 2 year college. But I'm still there. 

 

Then you hear "just go to college! It would help you decide what you wanna do!" No, it hasn't helped me decide. The frustrating part of that is some people think the life is cookie cutter, and when I say something isn't helping me, I think I know what's helping and what isn't. College hasn't helped me discover anything besides more things I enjoy and more confusion. 

 

I'm 22 years old, I'm lost, I'm confused and most of all I'm scared. People in general like to say this is something you have to do on your own, you figure this out on your own, and I really beg to differ that. There's this one book I would never forget and it's called A Sense Of Direction and this author was trying to find some direction so he goes on a pilgrimage, along the way, he met people of all sorts that helped him in a way, in whatever it is that he's looking for, in whatever area of life. If it's something that the person said that gave him that epiphany or anything. They helped him in a way. 

 

Right now I spend my time working like 3 days a week, I asked for more hours just so I could get a little more cash than I have now. I wished I didn't smoke pot then cause now I fear drug test. 

 

I just dont know what I'm doing. I don't know where I'm going, if I did knew, it wouldn't make starting a pain or whatever. But I just don't know what I'm doing with my life right now besides just work. I don't know if I should apply to a non traditional school like cosmetology school and just take out loans or whatever. Even if I did go to school I don't know how I'll find time to work, working retail for a year is my only experience that I have. I've been job hunting for 7 months and more with no gist. 

 

I pissed myself today when I read about quarter life crisis so. 🤷‍♀️ 

 

Side note - no I can not take out loans for a past semester 

- my mom isn't helping with college and I can understand why (her not helping isn't the point, so please don't ask why)

 

The point is that...I dunno. I think I'm experiencing a quarter life crisis. 

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Why make life so hard? Try things, do what you feel like doing. Then do something else. Stop expecting to have your life map or life purpose all locked down before sunset. You're young, and eventually you'll realize you'll never have all the answers, and especially not at 22.

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Florduh as l has a valid point, we never do have all the answers. And I'm think that's just fine. Why should life be cookie cutter? Why not just enjoy the journey instead of always thinking what the destination is or the end goal or ideal accomplishment? I understand where you are coming from though, I used to think like that at your age, and now I'm much older and am still in the process of "figuring myself out" career wise. It really is ok. Not everyone has to have it all mapped out. When you go on a road trip isn't it pretty boring when you focus on just checking off all the boxes of what you were supposed to see rather than taking detours and finding unexpected surprises? And life can be the same. Sometimes you find what you were looking for where and when you least expect it. 

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Hey, NO, maybe she can benefit from your book trick? PM her if it's still an option. 

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Oh to be 22 and completely unencumbered again!  I hear you, I really do.  I was a Christian then and pretty much knew I would get married and start a family.  I often think what I could have done had I not married and started a family.  The truth is, sometimes life makes decisions for you.  Anyway, I agree with florduh and BO.  You don't have to have everything figured out right now.  College can wait, and it is true that it isn't the best answer for everyone.  Get a job doing something you don't hate, pay off your debts and save some money as you think about what to do next.

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Honey go find yourself in the world!! Tomorrow will always be there. College will always be there!! Do like @Burnedout said and get a job on a Cruz ship omg that would be so fun! I work at an assisted living home and there is one lady there who worked as a flight attendent and she said it was the best and most fun thing she ever did. She's got amazing stories of seeing the world and all the adventures that come with it. So my advice: travel and discover the world and you'll find yourself along the way. You are young!! Enjoy it! There is plenty of time to worry about life when you get older. 😁

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     I'd say if you're close to getting your associates degree then just go ahead and get it since you've put in the time.  You're putting way too much thought into this degree having any real affect on your life.  It probably won't.  It's like your high school degree 2.0.  A bachelors matters a bit more but you're not anywhere near that point and it sounds like you haven't planned for that so I wouldn't even sweat it because that's probably a whole other can of worms given what you've said.  But I am suggesting that you do get your associates, again if you're close, just for closure.

 

     Then go on, like others have already said, and really try to figure out what it is you want to do.  You're young and there's lots of things to sort out.  I have a number of nieces and nephews in their 20's and only one of them is really doing their "plan" (and she's the youngest and the plan is a bit different than when it started) while the rest are older, nearer their thirties now, and only getting things on track (even though they thought they had it all worked out a decade ago).

 

     Life just sort of works that way.

 

          mwc

 

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On 15/09/2017 at 12:10 PM, sweets said:

When I was in high school, I thought my 20s would be me having the time of my life, graduated college at 21, and working on my career.  Fast forward to now, and I've been in a 2 year college for 3 years now (due to me changing my major constantly and not getting anywhere). I'm at this point where I don't know what I want to major in. 

 

For a 2 year program, it almost doesn't matter what you major in. Just pick something and stick with it. You'll be finished before you know it.

 

Then take some time to figure out what you want to do.

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On ‎17‎/‎09‎/‎2017 at 2:30 AM, Burnedout said:

I went to college all the way back in the 1980's.  I didn't really know what I wanted to do, and you know what?, I still don't.  LOL!  I cannot tell you 100% what to do, but if it were me and in that kind of angst, at least get your general studies out of the way, courses such as English, math, basic science, etc.  That is basically the first 2 years or so.  Then, you might consider doing something that is designed to be temporary in nature, enlist in a military branch, peace corps, etc. Maybe work on a cruise ship, or something that lets you see the world.  Once you have more of an idea where you might want to go, then go back to school and finish in a direction you feel more comfortable in.   While you are working in those areas, save all the money you can, THEN...once you have defined a major you might like, go back to school. 

 

BO has a good point here. I've actually been fairly fluid as far as what I want to do in life.

 

I wanted to farm, so I worked as a shepherd and stock manager for 7 years, got fully qualified in agriculture in that time.

 

Then I decided I wanted to quit farming and move into town - thoughts I'd try IT, but was convinced to go into accounting as the opportunities and pay was better (Only holds true for where I live, but still true)

 

So I've done accounting for 9+ years, fully qualified ACA.. now I'm looking around and thinking what else I might like and what my options are... go back to uni and get an IT degree, maybe financial analysis.

 

So yeah, don't get too disheartened that you don't know what to do... often we figure out what we want to do and then change our mind.... that's life. :)

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What do I know about this? I knew since I was 10 that I wanted to be a physicist, and that's exactly what I became. I realize not all of us can have such certainty in life (indeed, I was far less self-assured in matters of religion, since I was an idiot and converted to Christianity), and given how ubiquitous advice is I don't want to give too much of it.

 

I'll just say one thing and be done with it. I'm 33 right now, but back in 2002 when I started my freshman year of college, 4 years of tuition, room and board was about $40,000 at the average public university. It's probably more than that now. If you're going to spend $40,000+ on a degree, might I suggest you make sure it's something that leads reasonably directly to a job. In other words, don't major in theater arts or anything of that nature. :)

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