Moving on

[LadyNightingale]

I've been an atheist since I was about 17 or so. It was a really huge change in my life that almost drove me completely bonkers. It didn't. Now, I'm moving on with my life and it's going to be a vast improvement. Christianity has been a maddeningly powerful in my family. Both of my families. My biological mom's parents are very religious and I can't say that the fact I was born wasn't influenced by that. And my adoptive family has this weird little narrative that I'm a miracle and god placed me and blah blah blah. When in fact, the reason I ended up where I ended up was just because they had enough money for adoption and I happened to be a healthy white baby and there happened to be an infertile white couple with the funds to adopt. Not to mention the host of other factors at play. It wasn't wholly about faith or being directed by god. It was just because that's how things happened. You don't truly end up somewhere due to date or divine intervention. You just exist. 

 

But, growing up this wasn't obvious to me. I was definitely not a good Christian. And the whole being the family's little actual miracle was a lot of pressure. 

 

After a lot of drama between my mom and I left. There was a lot going on. A lot of it to do with the "not being straight thing" and also her inability to let me go. On some level, religion wasn't the main issue of the dysfunction. Even if I thought it was. It wasn't. I dwelled on it for way too long. Atheism isn't a really good identity. 

 

I spent way too much time in the old ex-c chat room a long time ago. I met some okay people and honestly some people that were pretty awful  for me. There's a reason they separate certain patients in the looney bin. Sometimes people who are way too ingrained in their hate and anger will drag you down. Even if they don't mean to. And sometimes they'll make you think that they're the only one that'll understand you. Add into the equation that if you're same-sex attracted most here don't actually get that. You're more of a pawn in an argument or a toy. Nothing more nothing less. On some level I'm grateful now I literally don't care about shit. I just want straight people, in general, to leave me alone. As long as no one messes with my shit or the people I love. I'm good.

 

Even if it seems like this is the only place it's not true, there are people, even some quasi-religious people, that will get you. Dwelling in the past isn't actually that helpful. Yes, take time to mourn but not forever, you'll find you won't actually get any satisfying resolution. Trust me I tried. 

 

But I get a new lease on life. I'm entering an awesome new phase in my life. And honestly, I'm glad to leave places like this behind. Yeah sure, my mom's religious fervor annoys me. But I get to walk away from all of that. But maybe I'm just lucky. Whatever. I still win in the end.

[LadyNightingale]

And just to add, the biggest bit of irony of all of this is that a catholic woman I started dating last year helped me stop being angry at everything. A tell it like it is sort of woman.  A good woman. We broke up but we're still friends and we talk still. Don't really meet many people like that. I'm glad I didn't walk out on her because she said she was Catholic.

[disillusioned]

A lot of atheists are assholes. But it is possible to be an intellectually fulfilled atheist who is not an asshole. Also, it is very possible to be an ex-christian and not be an atheist. We have a few such people here.

 

Many religious people are wonderful. But that does not change the fact that religion itself is reprehensible. For many, being able to recognise the difference between the religion and the religious is a major step on the road to recovery. You seem to have made that step, which is awesome. We all need to move on from anger. And many who come here stay for a while, and then move on. That's great. That means the site is doing its job. Others of us stick around so that we can help the newcomers, and so that we can continue to interact with fellow free-thinkers. There's nothing wrong with that either.

 

If you've found peace, then that is wonderful. All the best.

[LadyNightingale]

Religion is clearly a flawed institution. I never claimed otherwise. 

 

Yes, there are definitely decent people that stay here. However it might be critical sometimes staying is not the best move. And of course I know there are non atheists. I was mostly talking to people who are still extremely angry at absolutely everything. And man I've met great people such as yourself, I've also met some real pieces of work. Here and other places. 

 

The good may out weigh the bad. I just find I should and cannot trust every ex-Christian/atheist. More often than not they aren't actually my people. 

 

It's just life.