Have you lost anything because of your belief in Jesus/the bible/Christianity?

[realityrunt]

Even one year of real freedom makes my life worth something.

 

Confucius says:

 

"A person who finds the way even at death, will find their life had meaning"

[realityrunt]

9 hours ago, realityrunt said:

It's kind of like the matrix, the people who believe are dependent on god(The system) Remember he's not really him anymore, and he'll fight to defend his delusion. 

 

[LostinParis]

12 hours ago, MOHO said:

Gone is the pleasant young lady who I took dancing 3 nights/week and who otherwise put some life in my -sit in the corner and write software- boring ass life. She was replaced over the course of the past 10~12 years by a self-righteous, abusive, Bible-thumping nutter who  honestly believes that all medical conditions, political unrest, deadly weather,  as well as any human behavior she does not favor, are caused by Satan.

 

Fuck this fucking religion.

 

(I'm still in the anger stage, can you tell?)

[realityrunt]

20 minutes ago, LostinParis said:

 

Fuck this fucking religion.

 

(I'm still in the anger stage, can you tell?)

:https//en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kübler-Ross_model

 

The stages, popularly known by the acronym DABDA, include:[4]

Denial – The first reaction is denial. In this stage, individuals believe the diagnosis is somehow mistaken, and cling to a false, preferable reality.

Anger – When the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue, they become frustrated, especially at proximate individuals. Certain psychological responses of a person undergoing this phase would be: "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; "Who is to blame?"; "Why would this happen?".

Bargaining – The third stage involves the hope that the individual can avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek compromise. For instance: "I'd give anything to have him back." Or: "If only he'd come back to life, I'd promise to be a better person!"

Depression – "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon, so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
During the fourth stage, the individual despairs at the recognition of their mortality. In this state, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time mournful and sullen.

Acceptance – "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it; I may as well prepare for it."
In this last stage, individuals embrace mortality or inevitable future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. People dying may precede the survivors in this state, which typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the individual, and a stable condition of emotions.

Kübler-Ross later expanded her model to include any form of personal loss, such as the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or income, major rejection, the end of a relationship or divorce, drug addiction, incarceration, the onset of a disease or an infertility diagnosis, and even minor losses, such as a loss of insurance coverage. Even sports fans go through such a process if their favorite team loses an important game,[5][6][7]and also supporters of a losing candidate in an election.[8][9]

Both sufferers and therapists have reported the usefulness of the Kübler-Ross model in a wide variety of situations[citation needed]. The subsections below give a few specific examples of how the model can be applied in different situations:

 

[ConsiderTheSource]

12 hours ago, MOHO said:

Gone is the pleasant young lady who I took dancing 3 nights/week and who otherwise put some life in my -sit in the corner and write software- boring ass life. She was replaced over the course of the past 10~12 years by a self-righteous, abusive, Bible-thumping nutter who  honestly believes that all medical conditions, political unrest, deadly weather,  as well as any human behavior she does not favor, are caused by Satan.

 

Have you asked her out to dance lately?  

 

If not, maybe it is time to do so.  Let her know that you miss that pleasant dancing lady. 

 

Our minds contain a base operating system and "programs".  Maybe dancing will trigger those old programs, and lead her back to a more enjoyable, and beneficial, way to live.

 

[Orbit]

I was born into it. What I lost was good personal judgment. By trying to live a "turn the other cheek" life, I was constantly taken advantage of. Other than that, there are good parts that I take from it, mainly the empathy teachings of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount. Those are good values, so it wasn't a total loss. Giving it up was no less hard, though.

[MOHO]

11 hours ago, ConsiderTheSource said:

 

Have you asked her out to dance lately?  

 

If not, maybe it is time to do so.  Let her know that you miss that pleasant dancing lady. 

 

Our minds contain a base operating system and "programs".  Maybe dancing will trigger those old programs, and lead her back to a more enjoyable, and beneficial, way to live.

 

 

That's an excellent idea, @ConsiderTheSource !!!

 

I'll DO IT!

[MOHO]

11 hours ago, LostinParis said:

 

Fuck this fucking religion.

 

(I'm still in the anger stage, can you tell?)

 

Hey, @LostinParis.

 

It's tough to get past the anger part when surrounded by self-righteous assholes. I have a tough time with people assuming they have something over me because they choose to embrace that which cannot be proven and is so totally ridiculous to boot.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

I lost my self.  Without that, nothing I could lose or gain would ever matter.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, TheRedneckProfessor said:

I lost my self.  Without that, nothing I could lose or gain would ever matter.

This is how I feel. I have no answer to the "who the hell am I?" question, so I guess it's going to be awhile before I figure that out, or build something new. Building something new is my only choice.

[realityrunt]

23 minutes ago, TruthSeeker0 said:

This is how I feel. I have no answer to the "who the hell am I?" question, so I guess it's going to be awhile before I figure that out, or build something new. Building something new is my only choice.

You are a living, breathing, biological, entity that is designed to absorb information. That with such a free system you can learn to become something unique, and that uniqueness can be added to the community of beings across the universe, in life and after death.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

41 minutes ago, TruthSeeker0 said:

This is how I feel. I have no answer to the "who the hell am I?" question, so I guess it's going to be awhile before I figure that out, or build something new. Building something new is my only choice.

The beautiful thing is that you can build whatever "you" you'd like to be.

[LostinParis]

On 22/12/2017 at 5:45 PM, realityrunt said:

The stages, popularly known by the acronym DABDA, include:[4]

Denial – The first reaction is denial. In this stage, individuals believe the diagnosis is somehow mistaken, and cling to a false, preferable reality.

Anger – When the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue, they become frustrated, especially at proximate individuals. Certain psychological responses of a person undergoing this phase would be: "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; "Who is to blame?"; "Why would this happen?".

Bargaining – The third stage involves the hope that the individual can avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek compromise. For instance: "I'd give anything to have him back." Or: "If only he'd come back to life, I'd promise to be a better person!"

Depression – "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon, so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
During the fourth stage, the individual despairs at the recognition of their mortality. In this state, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time mournful and sullen.

Acceptance – "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it; I may as well prepare for it."
In this last stage, individuals embrace mortality or inevitable future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. People dying may precede the survivors in this state, which typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the individual, and a stable condition of emotions.

 

@realityrunt I seemed to have skipped the "Bargaining" stage and am now alternating between "Anger" and "Profoundly Sad". 

 

I can't even do grief properly 

[Vigile]

I gained a lot more than I lost. I lost some fake friends, but I gained real peace, which is ironic as the religion promises peace, but instead offers only guilt and fear. And, the process of deconversion gave me critical thinking skills and an intolerance for bullshit. I see these as assets, for who wants to go through life ignorant that people are manipulating your emotions and behavior for personal gain? IMO the false sense of security that is promised by the religion is just pretend. No one actually really feels secure. If they did, they wouldn't try so hard to let others know about it nor would they become so upset when faced with those who discount it. They go through life pretending everything is great not able to admit to themselves or others how they really feel because of a nagging fear they aren't right and because of the threat of punishment in the afterlife. It's a severely abusive system. 

[buffettphan]

4 hours ago, Vigile said:

I gained a lot more than I lost. I lost some fake friends, but I gained real peace, which is ironic as the religion promises peace, but instead offers only guilt and fear. And, the process of deconversion gave me critical thinking skills and an intolerance for bullshit. I see these as assets, for who wants to go through life ignorant that people are manipulating your emotions and behavior for personal gain? IMO the false sense of security that is promised by the religion is just pretend. No one actually really feels secure. If they did, they wouldn't try so hard to let others know about it nor would they become so upset when faced with those who discount it. They go through life pretending everything is great not able to admit to themselves or others how they really feel because of a nagging fear they aren't right and because of the threat of punishment in the afterlife. It's a severely abusive system. 

 

^^THIS a thousand times!

[realityrunt]

9 hours ago, LostinParis said:

 

@realityrunt I seemed to have skipped the "Bargaining" stage and am now alternating between "Anger" and "Profoundly Sad". 

 

I can't even do grief properly 

Actually the stages don't have to necessarily go in order, except for acceptance. 

[realityrunt]

 

[Tsathoggua9]

On 12/19/2017 at 10:47 AM, SerenelyBlue said:

I don't dwell on what is lost.  I rejoice because I don't believe that crap anymore.

 

Excellent attitude!

[skysoar15]

I lost my mom's support for a while. She follows a New-Agey type of Christianity. She's too into it to realize it's not the genuine article, but as a Christian I tried to witness to her so many times.

 

I slowly realized that God was a waste of time and am still trying to make sense of the hold religion has on the world.

 

My mother's attempt to preach at me from the Bible is something I accept with humility...even if I think it's bullshit to preach one aspect of the Bible and not take seriously the rest.

 

I also lost my goddamn mind following it. 

[austere]

My childhood. I was so sheltered and never had a chance to be truly carefree after about age 6. Instead I was already indoctrinated into being self-righteous, judgemental, sanctimonious, deluded, authority-pleasing and more.

[Guest]

7 minutes ago, austere said:

My childhood. I was so sheltered and never had a chance to be truly carefree after about age 6. Instead I was already indoctrinated into being self-righteous, judgemental, sanctimonious, deluded, authority-pleasing and more.

I can upvote this one. I used to idealize my childhood, and in some ways it was really wonderful. But in other ways, it severely under prepared me for the realities of the real world, because I was so sheltered. Christianity doesn't teach you how to take the reigns yourself, instead it allows you to continue being that child in many ways. Growing out of it takes time, as a result.

[TooManyDoubts]

Quote

Have you lost anything because of your belief in Jesus/the bible/Christianity?

 

Yes, my mind. My current mental health situation is grave. I lost 25+ years of my life to a lie. I lost my youth basically. I lost friends when I joined the church because I changed and they didn't recognise me anymore then I lost all the so-called Christian friends when I couldn't swallow the vomit of belief down a second longer. I have lost my sanity, my identity, my sense of having fun and being carefree. everything for me now is tainted by a terror that I have made a terrible mistake and the Christian god will punish me even though I have no underlying belief anymore. I have lost my joy for living.

[Guest]

20 hours ago, TooManyDoubts said:

 

 I have lost my sanity, my identity, my sense of having fun and being carefree. everything for me now is tainted by a terror that I have made a terrible mistake and the Christian god will punish me even though I have no underlying belief anymore. I have lost my joy for living.

Courage, my friend. It sounds like your mind is still terrorized by fear. In my opinion, what you need to combat this is education. If you are open and willing to read on biblical history, the contradictions of the bible, the problems with original sin, the trinity etc, there are plenty of recommendations made on this site for resources that will help rid you of this fear. (A few of my personal favourites: Dan Barker, Bart Ehrman, Richard Dawkins) Once you realize the bible is truly no more than a historical document that reflects the time and place in which it was written (which is where all the inconsistencies arise from in the first place), and that there is no god who will judge you, you will truly live free, and more joyously than you did before. It's a process, and it will get better, I have been where you are, and things do improve.

We also have a chat room for members if you are interested, welcome to join.

[BlindFaith]

On 12/21/2017 at 5:22 AM, LostinParis said:

I'm in the process of losing my marriage to a fundy who increasingly places his devotion to god before me. I've lost the fun, carefree man I married.

 

Right there with you. 

 

I'd also like to have the $100,000+ in tithes and offerings I gave over the years back...

[DarkFlash]

On 4/3/2018 at 1:32 PM, BlindFaith said:

 

Right there with you. 

 

I'd also like to have the $100,000+ in tithes and offerings I gave over the years back...

 

Years of my youth wasted while being raised by a cult who just so happens to be my own family. But also, like you, would I love to have my thousands of dollars back as well. To have had these yearly assumptions that God was on the move to make such a difference in my life--but also if I didn't give a penny was I told that my life was headed toward a path of destruction once I'd gotten older.