NowWhat

"Christian homeschooling mother of 5?!?!

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I just posted my story under Testimonies of Former Christians, titled "I never thought I'd be here." That gives my full introduction. But I thought I should introduce myself here, in some way. I live in the Bible belt, have been a "christian" all my life, homeschool my children, and was in it whole hog (there's a southern term for ya!). Over the past several years, it has slowly come crashing down, until I have no religion left. I am still in shock a bit, but coming to terms with it all. But I have so many questions about how to move forward. Other than my husband (we came to this place together, for the most part), I don't know anyone else who doesn't claim to be a christian. The biggest problem I have is how to tell our children, and deal with family. I will have separate posts in the future to ask for advice on those topics. But, for now, thank you for this community. I look forward to knowing there are other people out there who have gone through this!!

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Dang. That's a whole lot for one person to deal with. If I could lend you any advice, it would be take your time before making decisions on the big reveal. You need time to process it and then time to make a plan. This will save you a whole lot of heartache that can come from not thinking things through first. 

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Hey, welcome aboard! I hope that you will find some good support, here.

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Thanks! I'm happy to be here. I NEED to be here.

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@NowWhat the stories you will find here are similar. Leaving Christianity is difficult, extremely difficult for a long time believer. Add family members into the mix & it can seem like a living nightmare. I was Church of Christ for almost 30 years. My wife is still a Christian, but I've been able to convince here to leave Christian fundamentalism. She worships with the Methodist now.

 

The journey out of religion is typically a long & often difficult journey.  The Bible is literature not history. The Bible is neither literally or  historically true & it's important for those leaving the faith to understand that. 

 

Dr. Bart Ehrman is a good religious historian to read for the historical truth about the Bible. He has written a number of excellent books that are available in kindle format. He also has some good videos on YouTube. 

 

There is a lot of good information on this site, so take some time and check the site out. 

 

Welcome, I'm glad you found this site I'm certain you will find a lot of valuable information here.

 

 

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Might I suggest teaching about me as one of many religions...? It might foster critical thinking about religion's history.

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On 11/1/2017 at 8:21 AM, God said:

Might I suggest teaching about me as one of many religions...? It might foster critical thinking about religion's history.

 

"Dear God, thank you for taking the time to finally speak to me, giving me advice to help my children critically think their way out of the delusion that is you. Amen."

 

Seriously, thanks. My husband mentioned something like that, too. Great idea!

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I think the best thing to do, in addition to what "God" said earlier, is to foster critical thinking in your kids. Encourage them to question what they're taught, to try to see things from other points of view. I see people like my sister try to teach their kids Christian dogma and told to just accept it, but if the kids were instead trained to learn from a place of understanding instead of just "fact" memorization, the truth will naturally point against the validity of religion and superstition.

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Yes, reevaluate the homeschooling curriculum you are currently using and adjust it as you deem necessary.

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13 minutes ago, sdelsolray said:

Yes, reevaluate the homeschooling curriculum you are currently using and adjust it as you deem necessary.

Oh, yes. The Christian curriculum is gone! I actually change curriculum all the time, to suit particular learning styles, interests, or my own personal fancy. The kids didn't bat an eye when I quit using the pieces that forced Christian ideals. But I'm anxious to get some REAL science & history in front of them!

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52 minutes ago, Quark said:

Encourage them to question what they're taught, to try to see things from other points of view. I see people like my sister try to teach their kids Christian dogma and told to just accept it, but if the kids were instead trained to learn from a place of understanding instead of just "fact" memorization, the truth will naturally point against the validity of religion and superstition.

That's good advice! I've been concerned about presenting new ideas that conflict with their current, ingrained beliefs, without giving them some explanation as to why. They've been trained to immediately resist anything that goes against Christianity (ugh, I hated that I'm saying that). I can't imagine what they'll think if their own parents are the ones presenting these "pagan" ideas. So there has to be a bit of a transition plan. We have to come up with something to move them toward that kind of thinking, without the guilt they've been trained to feel if they do. We need a way to set them free.

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On 10/31/2017 at 10:21 AM, NowWhat said:

I just posted my story under Testimonies of Former Christians, titled "I never thought I'd be here." That gives my full introduction. But I thought I should introduce myself here, in some way. I live in the Bible belt, have been a "christian" all my life, homeschool my children, and was in it whole hog (there's a southern term for ya!). Over the past several years, it has slowly come crashing down, until I have no religion left. I am still in shock a bit, but coming to terms with it all. But I have so many questions about how to move forward. Other than my husband (we came to this place together, for the most part), I don't know anyone else who doesn't claim to be a christian. The biggest problem I have is how to tell our children, and deal with family. I will have separate posts in the future to ask for advice on those topics. But, for now, thank you for this community. I look forward to knowing there are other people out there who have gone through this!!

 

On 11/4/2017 at 2:05 PM, NowWhat said:

Oh, yes. The Christian curriculum is gone! I actually change curriculum all the time, to suit particular learning styles, interests, or my own personal fancy. The kids didn't bat an eye when I quit using the pieces that forced Christian ideals. But I'm anxious to get some REAL science & history in front of them!

 

Perhaps the best way to do this is simply "learn" with them...? Perhaps find something compelling as part of your curriculum that challenges Christianity and "react" to the information in a way that shows that you are willing to examine evidence when it goes against Christianity. You can all transition into logical thinking together? The Socratic/discussion method is REALLY good and might be helpful in this case, teaching logic as a course is a good idea, and maybe just teach about all kinds of legends. Just a thought. :)

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I was Christian homeschooling my kids in Texas when I saw behind the curtain as well. I wish that I had transitioned my kids to public school earlier. It's best to do it before high school. Good luck!

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I haven't visited this website in a long time. I popped on here this morning and read your other introductory post. I too am 40 and was a homeschooling mother of 5, homeschooled myself while being raised Christian in the south. I have had my eyes opened for a few years now and I just want to tell you that it does get easier. You are fortunate to have a supportive husband. Yes, telling the family is hard and it cost me many relationships, even my immediate family. My children,  who are now ages 8 to 19, have recovered from the early years of their indoctrination and all of them know that they need to figure this out for themselves.  It was hard for them in the beginning, just like it was for me. They are all in public school now and are doing just fine. I found it interesting how many things we had in common. Congrats on opening your mind. 

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I totally get the whole family thing. I am very much afraid (Jars of Clay anyone?) to tell my parents. No real reason to have to tell them; they'll just be really hurt. (sigh)

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6 minutes ago, goodgravy said:

I totally get the whole family thing. I am very much afraid (Jars of Clay anyone?) to tell my parents. No real reason to have to tell them; they'll just be really hurt. (sigh)

 

Religious peer pressure from family, acquaintances and religious leaders is often just as insidious as the years of childhood religious indoctrination from trusted adults.

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On 10/31/2017 at 7:21 AM, NowWhat said:

I just posted my story under Testimonies of Former Christians, titled "I never thought I'd be here." That gives my full introduction. But I thought I should introduce myself here, in some way. I live in the Bible belt, have been a "christian" all my life, homeschool my children, and was in it whole hog (there's a southern term for ya!). Over the past several years, it has slowly come crashing down, until I have no religion left. I am still in shock a bit, but coming to terms with it all. But I have so many questions about how to move forward. Other than my husband (we came to this place together, for the most part), I don't know anyone else who doesn't claim to be a christian. The biggest problem I have is how to tell our children, and deal with family. I will have separate posts in the future to ask for advice on those topics. But, for now, thank you for this community. I look forward to knowing there are other people out there who have gone through this!!

 

Hi, welcome to  Ex-c. Remember that you are not required to spill your guts to anyone about your beliefs or lack of. Some people you may want to tell, others you may not. You are in charge. :)

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My story is close to yours. Christian my entire life. Married with 3 kids and over a few months it was like someone disconnected something in my brain and I just didn’t believe it anymore. My husband was quick to follow as well but our kids were upset and confused so we’re trying to take it slow. 

I was trying to keep a friendship with a close Christian friend but just two days ago she told me she confided with her mentor at her church and he believes that a faith crisis is demon possession. So yah, met up for coffee the other night to be told she believes I’m possessed and need warfare and deliverance!? I’m just so done with them all! I don’t have any other friends. 

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Welcome Sam, sorry to hear about your friends.  Time to make new ones.  You deserve better.  If you are not going to church anymore and your husband doesn't believe anymore then you kids will probably figure it out.  My kids are both atheists and they kind of reach an age where they question ideas and grow up.

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Thanks! Our youngest is the only one still holding on. He’s 7 and has high functioning autism so we have to be really slow with changes. But! We have gotten out of church for good and he’s ok with that now! Small victories lol just taking it day by day and it’s getting better. Still dealing with a lot of anger against Christians and church in general but I have heard it goes away.

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On 10/31/2017 at 9:21 AM, NowWhat said:

I just posted my story under Testimonies of Former Christians, titled "I never thought I'd be here." That gives my full introduction. But I thought I should introduce myself here, in some way. I live in the Bible belt, have been a "christian" all my life, homeschool my children, and was in it whole hog (there's a southern term for ya!). Over the past several years, it has slowly come crashing down, until I have no religion left. I am still in shock a bit, but coming to terms with it all. But I have so many questions about how to move forward. Other than my husband (we came to this place together, for the most part), I don't know anyone else who doesn't claim to be a christian. The biggest problem I have is how to tell our children, and deal with family. I will have separate posts in the future to ask for advice on those topics. But, for now, thank you for this community. I look forward to knowing there are other people out there who have gone through this!!

 

Being in the South, you'd better keep homeschooling them! Despite evangelical fears, they're less likely to learn about evolution in public school than they are from you.

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