Jump to content
Goodbye Jesus

Too Many Doubts, Too Many Questions


TooManyDoubts

Recommended Posts

Hey everyone,

 

I have been actively deconverting now from pretty much the moment I joined the church of my own volition which was nearly 20 years ago. It just never really made sense at all to me. I tried to get on with things as best I could, however, there were always too many doubts and too many questions and with each question I asked instead of being satisfied with the reply given to me it would simply result in me needing to ask more questions to deal with what I was hearing. I just wanted to know God, however, Christianity is just too bizarre. You have to believe in all this very strange stuff surrounding the actually theistic belief like angels, demons, Heaven, Hell and Eternal Life <---- I have NEVER believed in that. I don't understand what the gift is in relation to living forever. Going on and on interminably genuinely seems like a Hell to me. Plus and I know this isn't a massively intellectual argument but it always bugged me why so many of my Christian brethren weren't either nice people or happy.

 

The other day I walked past 3 people who knew me from when I attended church and they couldn't have been more hateful. Nasty little comments as I walked by and I didn't leave under a cloud, I did so (I thought) amicably. It was certainly amicable on my part. I simply told the truth, that I no longer believed. It's a big club and I don't think I was ever in it. I was never into apologetics. I knew that it was all very tenuous indeed, that nothing we believed in could be verified or substantiated outside of the sh*tty book we were supposed to live our lives by. It always amazed me why Jesus didn't just write the book if he was God instead of having to rely on a multitude of different authors who all contradicted one another and why wasn't every page dripping with intellectual wisdom or scientific breakthroughs? Why does the Bible only reflect what people at the time knew about the world? That always got me. Why was it given such importance when it was obviously written by people? Anyhow, I am now officially out of the ranks of Christianity and I am happy to call myself an atheist. It's good to be here.

 

TMD.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome home TMD.  You’ve made it back to reality: the place your creator (biology) intended you to be.  Although it sounds like you may have been here all along.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, I echo padgemi in welcoming you to our site, TMD. I have found a great deal of comfort here and am already amazed at what 6 months on this site has done for my sanity. Not sure where you live, but I'm in the US in the bible belt area and this shit is just constant. Glad you got out and cheers to restoring your sanity. I look forward to your insights in future posts, now go and live a meaningful life!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome to Ex-C, @TooManyDoubts,

 

Glad you found your way out of the insanity of xanity.

 

I'm in the bible belt of the Pacific Northwest and have to live with the fundy garbage each day. This place really helps.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Great testimony there TMD. It sounds like you've got your act together. Welcome aboard, glad you found this site. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

Welcome TMD! Great read! thank you for sharing. You are among like-minded people here. But you sound like you are doing very well. Looking forward to hearing more from you!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for all of your replies. I still haven't figured out the site because I don't seem able to edit my posts nor do I know how to leave a Like for you all but I have Liked what you have been saying so please know that.

 

I still feel hurt by the way I have been treated by these Christians I mentioned in my OP who felt the need to be nasty however it's not really so much of a surprise because in the past I would see how they talked about and treated other Christians who they didn't feel measured up in some ways let alone how they spoke about those who didn't believe.

 

I also feel angry that I wasted so many precious years trying to fit myself into something which felt wrong right from the off. It never gelled with me, I think I always knew deep down that the people around me were false and were only happy when I was saying and doing what they wanted from me. I had to be doing their will for them to like and approve of me. Is it any wonder then that they follow a belief where they have to do God's will and a God who is so capricious? That, in essence, shows me that 'God' is just a human invention because it smacks of the way humans behave and nothing more.

 

I cannot believe that I ever attended church. Even in the short while I have been a professing atheist, belief just seems so alien to me now. I went through my Kindle today deleting all the Christian books off as well as books pertaining to Buddhism, Taoism, Wicca, you name it. When I left Christianity I felt I needed to believe in something only it all just seems bogus to me now. A giant con job, a cosmic confidence trick. Jack is out of the box and no amount of trying to get a larger box is going to help me to get him back in there. It's a done deal.

 

Thanks again for all your kind and supportive replies. It is good to be here.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You have to have a certain number of posts (25??) under your belt before you can edit posts or like others' posts.

 

Don't be so hard on yourself.  I suspect if you forensically analyze your history, you will find you were influenced by attempted religious indoctrination from trusted adults when you were younger.  You were likely a victim of both horizontal and vertical infection of a particular Christian God Virus.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 22/11/2017 at 3:39 AM, TooManyDoubts said:

A giant con job, a cosmic confidence trick.

 

@TooManyDoubts

You're right, Christianity is a giant con job. This thought occurred to me while I was watching an advertisment for disinfectant, and the scary "hidden germs" in our home.

Christianity is a classic marketing trick. Invent a problem (original sin), then sell a solution to that problem (Jesus). Now throw in some fear and you have a best-selling product.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.