Back again, seem to be going round in circles with poor mental health

[Deva]

In answer to the question "are you happy?" Yes.  But, it took me a long time.  Everyone is different and some people raised in fundamentalism have a much harder time than others getting out.  This is because it is so ingrained that it is a part of yourself.  Therefore, throwing it out completely is like amputating a part of yourself, not ALL of which was negative, if that makes any sense. 

 

I think the most damaging idea in Christianity is that you cannot trust your own thoughts or judgment, that your mind itself is corrupt and incapable of reasoning correctly.  This idea really has to go.  It takes time, at least it did for me, and women have it worse than men overall, I believe. I base this on my own experience as the only female child (with two brothers) of fundamentalist parents.

[rachel15]

hi, sorry to disappear suddenly - you guys gave me a lot to think about and then I thought about things and several things happened:-

 

I realised that almost all of my friends are Christian - mostly with strong faith - they are my main support network. 

I began to think that if the bible were true about their being a devil then I'd be a sitting target posting here on this forum.

I have c-ptsd and added to this, it feels too much to manage on my own and I'm not sure who to explore this locally.

I've been very ill for the past month which I think is stress related after I caught a cold, haven't been able to shake it off and now have other stress related ailments.

My meds stopped working for a time as I was taking a different brand - sigh.....  

 

So much of my thinking has been influenced by Christian teaching, and I'm realising I'm still very deeply caught up in it.   So, I think I need to do some reading ......

 

[rachel15]

On 23/11/2017 at 12:58 AM, Deva said:

 Everyone is different and some people raised in fundamentalism have a much harder time than others getting out.  This is because it is so ingrained that it is a part of yourself.  Therefore, throwing it out completely is like amputating a part of yourself, not ALL of which was negative, if that makes any sense. 

 

I think the most damaging idea in Christianity is that you cannot trust your own thoughts or judgment, that your mind itself is corrupt and incapable of reasoning correctly.  

hi Deva, thanks very much for writing - your comments above really resonated with me.  I already had come from a family where I had been almost taught not to trust my own judgment and somehow I realise I need to work on this very much.  

[rachel15]

On 21/11/2017 at 5:40 AM, LostinParis said:

Hi @rachel15,

 

I too have struggled with mental health issues (bipolar II), and this was one of the reasons I delayed deconverting. I was scared that my anxiety would skyrocket and I wouldn't be able to cope with the fallout. In a nutshell, I had anxiety about having anxiety!

 

The first few weeks after "coming out" were awful. There were many arguments with my husband, he still thinks that Satan is deceiving me. However I was suprised how quickly my guilt and fear subsided, and was replaced by a feeling of profound relief. I no longer feel like I am under constant surveilance from god, and his demands for perfection have fallen silent.

 

I am fortunate to live in a country with a good public mental healthcare system, and access to affordable pharmaceuticals, which helps immensely. Mindfullness has also helped me, I think it's roots are in Buddhism.

 

In his book The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins explains clearly how we have evolved from single cells.

 

Hopefully you will gain the confidence to steer your own life without the need to rely on a sky-fairy. 

 

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?" ~ Douglas Adams

Thanks for writing @LostinParis - its good to hear from someone who also has experience with health issues who came through the other side.  

 

I think I am realising in my case that I have to go a bit slower and find someone nearby who I can talk to as well - but its not like I can pray and ask God to guide me to someone.  I think there is a meet up of atheists somewhere nearby which I will check up on.     

[rachel15]

Thanks very much for all that you've shared @TrueScotsman, @LogicalFallacyand @Margee    and  I remember I think @Burnedout wrote too - really appreciate you looking in on thread.   Going to browse some books online to see what would help gently move me on  a bit.

 

Sorry  i missed some people out - its been a while since I checked in - am rereading thread - thank you.   

[Guest]

On 11/18/2017 at 3:18 PM, rachel15 said:

Hi, a few years ago I thought that I was on the way out of Christianity, and I was for a while - but I think having  practically all my contacts Christian, plus having a mental illness, proved too much to overcome.  I just haven't been able to find my feet.  (Sorry, I'm tired if my sentences don't come out quite right).

 

So here I am, I am emotionally and mentally spent after going back into Christianity again , trying to find the next step.  I'm not sure I will manage to get out without having a crisis and getting worse.  I simply don't have emotional support from my family who live some distance away.  I realise it may have seemed crazy to  go back to others who've found their way out - I can only say in my defense that it just seemed the only option because of the mental health symptoms - also before, when I tried to live without a belief in a good and loving God, I felt that so much was pointless.

 

Is there anyone out there who's found a good God or energy or believes in a higher self, that isn't mixed up with the bible?  Has anyone managed to improve their mental health by getting out, or does it always mean a bumpy ride? 

 

The problem seems to be that I get right in close with Christianity and following the bible, to find that it results in me having more questions than answers, and I feel as I've shut down so much of my intellect over the years to try and understand and follow the 'narrow path'.   On the other hand, the friendship I've had through fellow Christians has been better than I've had at any time prior to having a faith.  (Of course, I realise that won't last if I come out with my unbelief).   

 

Can ex-Christians be really happy?  Do you regret leaving the faith?

 

 

 

 

 

    

To be honest, I think Christianity and mental health issues are not a good mix. I have seen this time and again, within my own family as well. I can tell you that there's hope, and that with time, your mental health issues are likely to improve with an exit from Christianity. You mention here that reading the bible does you no good, so you already know what the answer to that is. Don't go anywhere near the bible. Why shut down your intellect? It's the one thing that will save you properly, that and education. I would be nowhere myself if I hadn't read enough, and now know enough, to combat all the years of indoctrination. When I look at a bible now it has zero influence on me at all, I end up wondering how I could have worshipped it as the word of god for years. What might help you is to do some reading, particularly on why the beliefs in Christianity are damaging for mental health in the first place. For this I can recommend Leaving the Fold by Marlene Winell, if you want to examine some of these issues. At the same time, I think a secular therapist would also be of good benefit for you, mental health issues can also be a completely separate area from religion in some ways, although religious beliefs can complicate them.

You can find supportive friends out of the church, it just takes time. Find community events that interest you, or volunteer, or join groups where people have similar interests to you.

You can be happy. I am much more happy than I was in the faith. I don't regret it at all, my life doesn't need some ultimate purpose or end goal in mind, or a sense that someone or something else is in control of me. You can find that purpose on your own when you contemplate life, for most of us I think the purpose to be useful citizens and kind to those around us is purpose enough. I still feel that this life is an incredible gift, and that I can't waste time.

[pantheory]

rachel15,

 

.....I can see how species can adapt and evolve to fit into their environment as it changes, but not how life can have evolved in such a creatively organised and  complex manner from the same starting point without some outside intervention. 

 

From reading this I'm not sure that you fully understand Darwin's version of evolution which is called "natural selection." According to this theory, individuals that might adapt better to their environment, do not necessarily pass this characteristic on to their offspring. Species adapt by inheritance. For Instance: A mother has ten children. One of them can run much faster than all the others. When predators are looking for food, the one that can run faster is less likely to get eaten. His or her children also have a better chance of running faster and survival based upon genetic-based running skills. A young girl in the group likes tomatoes. In their area food has become scarce but tomatoes are plentiful. Other members of the group dislike tomatoes and think they are poisonous, but the girl sits by herself and gorges on tomatoes. Many people die that year of hunger but the girl becomes fat and has many children. Many of her offspring also like tomatoes. Another couple has a physically stronger son than others in the group. When he is sexually mature he sirs many more children than his peers. The group now has many of his offspring, some of which are stronger and hornier than their peers. These are the means by which species change.

 

By random genetic mutations a few individuals will survive that are better adapted to their environment, nearly all other mutants will die or be infertile. By this mutation it is difficult for this individual to produce offspring, but still over time because of this better characteristic this individual lives a lot longer than his peers and in time he produces a number of offspring. Although he had difficulty producing offspring in the first place, some of his children could only mate with their half brothers and sisters, not with the general population. In time this better adapted group may not be able to mate with their original group and they could  become a different species, with different, better adapted characteristics. This is how a new species is created, as well as all the plants, animals, and microbes on the Earth. This method of change is called natural selection.

[quinntar]

On 19/11/2017 at 6:18 AM, rachel15 said:

Hi, a few years ago I thought that I was on the way out of Christianity, and I was for a while - but I think having  practically all my contacts Christian, plus having a mental illness, proved too much to overcome.  I just haven't been able to find my feet.  (Sorry, I'm tired if my sentences don't come out quite right).

 

So here I am, I am emotionally and mentally spent after going back into Christianity again , trying to find the next step.  I'm not sure I will manage to get out without having a crisis and getting worse.  I simply don't have emotional support from my family who live some distance away.  I realise it may have seemed crazy to  go back to others who've found their way out - I can only say in my defense that it just seemed the only option because of the mental health symptoms - also before, when I tried to live without a belief in a good and loving God, I felt that so much was pointless.

 

Is there anyone out there who's found a good God or energy or believes in a higher self, that isn't mixed up with the bible?  Has anyone managed to improve their mental health by getting out, or does it always mean a bumpy ride? 

 

The problem seems to be that I get right in close with Christianity and following the bible, to find that it results in me having more questions than answers, and I feel as I've shut down so much of my intellect over the years to try and understand and follow the 'narrow path'.   On the other hand, the friendship I've had through fellow Christians has been better than I've had at any time prior to having a faith.  (Of course, I realise that won't last if I come out with my unbelief).   

 

Can ex-Christians be really happy?  Do you regret leaving the faith?

 

 

 

 

 

    

Yes, yes and yes, I improved dramatically after I left the J man.

I think that almost everyone does, but it takes a fair bit of time to deprogram.

 

Actually for me I think I became mentally unwell because of Christianity, and now I'm left with this fractured mind. I know what you're going through, I've been in and out of hospitals for good part of a decade. 

 

I'm sure you've prayed enough to be released from this illness, I'm sure you've tried everything Christians tell you. But the illness remains, it always will, until a cure can be found.

 

If Jesus was real, why would he allow the very thing that you need to understand him to be damaged. If it's difficult to trust what your sense's are telling you, how can you trust a being who asks you to perceive him with those sense's.