Nobody has to know.....

[crushed]

Hello everybody. I am new here and i am also a german, so my english might not be very good, but I think it will be enough to express my situation 

To make it very short - I grew up in a complet atheistic familiy and had no conetction to any religion or believe in my life. Even after I meet my husband, which is an nigerian citizen, our life wasnt influenced by religious topics or matters. 

But after our marriage in Nigeria and his return after one year, he came back as a "born again christian" and introduce me into all that religious stuff and I had no choice, than to join him in prayers, fasten and believe. I got pregnant very fast and was about to lose the pregnancy, as he asked me for fasting and prayer for 3 days . I nearly collaps after that time during his prayers, but  I had no problem about the pregnancy again. For him it was a clear sign of God, for myself I always thought, that I nearly collapsed from hunger  

Anyway, he found a penticostal church in our area, where we went to and I tried to arrange with the situation. I also tried to build up an believing spirit, and there was times that I honestly said to be a believer. I never agreed with my husband in all the rituals, that he claimed to be necessary, like fasting ( I am a good eater ), or waking up by midnight to pray ( as a mother of 4 baby I set my sleep above everything ). 

But I tried. 

Now our children are almost grown up, they are 23, 18, 16 and 11 ....  they use to riot against his strict way of believing, they dont like to go to church, which we have been forced for many, many years. Me myself have completly lost my believe due to the strict and even agressiv way of religion my husband set in our familiy. He use to beat them as they was still very small, if they dont stay quiet during prayer, which took many times up to 30 minutes.... later on there was always presure to be in church at the right time and each child needed to dress up very proberly, which was my responsibility - of course me by myself needed to look perfect and smile always - no matter what kind of stress or strife has gone on before church. 

We have changed church three times because no church seem to be godly enough for my husband. Last summer we have started to go to a new church and my husband wanted our two big sons to join some acitivities there, but they dont have any interest in it - he dont even knew, that they dont care about religion or believe at all. So as he asked them, which service they choose and they replied : "none", it escaleted and he was shouting and screaming at them and even tried to beat the one who didnt keept quiet about that horrible situation. 

This was the very day, I droped anything like religion and believe in my life and nothing and nobody will ever bring me back to that horrible, slaving and missusing system they call christianity. 

Since then I have became an atheist. It is not to much a problem to myself, I feel free since never before and able to handle things in my life, which I couldnt handle before. 

But one problem remain in my life...... nobody knows !! 

Not my husband, he would divorce me if he knew. None of my christian friends, which I appriciate for their good heart and attitude - because if they knew, my husband also would . I can tell nobody my situation and I am always confronted with believers, who espect me to pray for them - I am still going to church, pretending to sing their songs and still take communion, knowing that I am lying every day. Many of our friends are coming for christians meeting to our house, they ask me for advice and prayer and I constantly lie to them , because I can not confess, that I am not sharing their believe. 

It makes me so sad to be so unhonest to this people   Even if I dont share their believe, I still love and respect them and I am forced to lie to them ..... and of course my relationship to my husband can never be honest and pure again, because he would hate me and leave me in the moment he would know my real self and disbelieve. 

I am not especting solutions from this community, I know I am condemmed to live this life till the bitter end - but I am simply greatful to be able to share my grief and pain with somebody

How many of you are living the same life I am living ? I would like to hear from you   

[TABA]

Hello Crushed,

 

I’m glad you shared your situation with us. This is a very supportive community; you are definitely among friends here. 

 

I’m so sorry for all you’ve had to deal with. I don’t know that I can give you much advice, but I can tell you that you are not “condemned to live this life till the bitter end”.  You don’t have to stay in this prison. You said you cannot be honest with your husband because he would leave you.  That does not sound remotely like a healthy relationship.  Are you financially dependent on him, so that you fear separation or divorce?  I don’t know the German divorce laws, but do they not have alimony and child support?  Or is your situation (serious incompatibility) not sufficient grounds for divorce?  Or are you staying with him for the sake of the younger kids?  In any case, your two older kids should be able to live their lives free of their father’s control, yes?

 

It doesn’t sound like your husband is a candidate for deconversion.  At some point you will surely find a man who is not a religious fanatic (or preferably not religious at all). to share your life with. 

 

I am so glad that atheism has brought you a sense of freedom: it usually does. And a free mind is a treasure that nobody can take away. 

 

I wish you al the best, I really do. Please stay in touch with us. I think and hope it will help you to be here. 

 

All the Best

TABA

[♦ Fuego ♦]

Welcome!

Sorry to hear that your husband became so biblical, so harsh. Pentecostals have all kinds of magic beliefs and get very angry if someone doesn't go along with their superstitions. But it is good that you have seen through the lies of Christianity.

 

There are others here in similar situations, so I'm hoping they will reply with suggestions.

[midniterider]

12 hours ago, crushed said:

Hello everybody. I am new here and i am also a german, so my english might not be very good, but I think it will be enough to express my situation 

To make it very short - I grew up in a complet atheistic familiy and had no conetction to any religion or believe in my life. Even after I meet my husband, which is an nigerian citizen, our life wasnt influenced by religious topics or matters. 

But after our marriage in Nigeria and his return after one year, he came back as a "born again christian" and introduce me into all that religious stuff and I had no choice, than to join him in prayers, fasten and believe. I got pregnant very fast and was about to lose the pregnancy, as he asked me for fasting and prayer for 3 days . I nearly collaps after that time during his prayers, but  I had no problem about the pregnancy again. For him it was a clear sign of God, for myself I always thought, that I nearly collapsed from hunger  

Anyway, he found a penticostal church in our area, where we went to and I tried to arrange with the situation. I also tried to build up an believing spirit, and there was times that I honestly said to be a believer. I never agreed with my husband in all the rituals, that he claimed to be necessary, like fasting ( I am a good eater ), or waking up by midnight to pray ( as a mother of 4 baby I set my sleep above everything ). 

But I tried. 

Now our children are almost grown up, they are 23, 18, 16 and 11 ....  they use to riot against his strict way of believing, they dont like to go to church, which we have been forced for many, many years. Me myself have completly lost my believe due to the strict and even agressiv way of religion my husband set in our familiy. He use to beat them as they was still very small, if they dont stay quiet during prayer, which took many times up to 30 minutes.... later on there was always presure to be in church at the right time and each child needed to dress up very proberly, which was my responsibility - of course me by myself needed to look perfect and smile always - no matter what kind of stress or strife has gone on before church. 

We have changed church three times because no church seem to be godly enough for my husband. Last summer we have started to go to a new church and my husband wanted our two big sons to join some acitivities there, but they dont have any interest in it - he dont even knew, that they dont care about religion or believe at all. So as he asked them, which service they choose and they replied : "none", it escaleted and he was shouting and screaming at them and even tried to beat the one who didnt keept quiet about that horrible situation. 

This was the very day, I droped anything like religion and believe in my life and nothing and nobody will ever bring me back to that horrible, slaving and missusing system they call christianity. 

Since then I have became an atheist. It is not to much a problem to myself, I feel free since never before and able to handle things in my life, which I couldnt handle before. 

But one problem remain in my life...... nobody knows !! 

Not my husband, he would divorce me if he knew. None of my christian friends, which I appriciate for their good heart and attitude - because if they knew, my husband also would . I can tell nobody my situation and I am always confronted with believers, who espect me to pray for them - I am still going to church, pretending to sing their songs and still take communion, knowing that I am lying every day. Many of our friends are coming for christians meeting to our house, they ask me for advice and prayer and I constantly lie to them , because I can not confess, that I am not sharing their believe. 

It makes me so sad to be so unhonest to this people   Even if I dont share their believe, I still love and respect them and I am forced to lie to them ..... and of course my relationship to my husband can never be honest and pure again, because he would hate me and leave me in the moment he would know my real self and disbelieve. 

I am not especting solutions from this community, I know I am condemmed to live this life till the bitter end - but I am simply greatful to be able to share my grief and pain with somebody

How many of you are living the same life I am living ? I would like to hear from you   

 

Sorry to hear that your husband is a crazy Pentecostal. I was a not-that-crazy Pentecostal. I got divorced for other reasons though the church makes divorce look like some horrible thing.

 

Divorce is not the end of the world, but it is a major change, of course. You really are not condemned to live a life of hell to the bitter end. Not if you decide otherwise. Of course you know your situation best. You do have options.

[ConsiderTheSource]

It is a big world.  Many places one can go to start anew.  You had a life before your marriage.  You could return to that, or do something entirely new.

 

I do not know enough of your situation to advise anything.  But, you do need to know you have options, and doors are not bolted shut.

[Margee]

Welcome to Ex-c, crushed. I'm so glad you found us and thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry you are stuck in this situation. Many who join Ex are in the same situation so you may want to read all you can on how the members are dealing with the same thing. One thing you said was that your Pentecostal husband keeps moving from church to church to find 'perfection'. So he is looking for the 'pure' church and there is no such thing. So I would imagine that he also desires that his own family remain 'pure' as can be. That is a scary thought. I feel the best thing to do is read here as much as you can (and don't get caught!) and in time you may know what direction to go.  Keep us posted when you can and let us know how things are going. You may have to play the game, ''Let's Play Pretend'' for awhile until you figure out how to handle all of this. We understand completely what you are going through. I belonged to a Pentecostal church for a long time and I know how strict they can be. So hang in there and post when you can. Read all the testimonies of people who have joined this site. I thought I was alone when I first joined here. I thought I was the only person who dare question the bible and the christian god. You are not alone and that's what you need to know.  In the last 2 years of me going to church, I had to do a lot of pretending while I was trying to hang on to my faith. Take this one day at a time for now.  Just remain loving and kind to everyone until you figure out how to handle this delicate situation. 

 

 

 

A big (hug) for you today.

 

[Lost]

On 6.01.2018 at 10:47 AM, crushed said:

How many of you are living the same life I am living ? I would like to hear from you   

 

Hey crushed

 

I'm glad that You found some relief and You came here to find support.

 

I'm also the person who is lying to people in church and participate in communion and pretend to be friend for people in need. I'm afraid that my coming out would completely destroy one of my friends from church who came to Jesus Christ after being depressed for several years (history of deression, taking medications, suicidal thoughts).

 

Anyway, I'm planning to send a letter to my church in Summer 2018 when I will go to a vacation and tell them about losing my faith.

 

Your situation is for sure much harder, because Your whole family is somehow involved in church. I don't have my own family. I live with my dad who is a rationalist for his whole life and I live in a Catholic country, so other family members don't take seriously religion that much, they celebrate tradition. I was the only one from my whole family that became interested in religion and spirituality in a young age, because of my mum's death.

My classmates and family memebers looked at me like I would be a  weirdo, for being so serious about God and life after death.

 

Here You can read more about my lying to church, where I still go to.

 

Best wishes and hugs for You in Your personal journey

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

Crushed, your story pulls at my heart. I agree with what others have said here. You're not alone, your options are not limited, and you might want to take your time planning a careful journey to a place where you don't have to choose between living a constant lie or being abused. I'm not in the difficult position that you are, but I can empathize with having to pretend something you're not. I have family  members who have no idea that I'm agnostic and I had to leave a job that I really enjoyed in many ways, except that I had to sign an annual contract affirming my Christianity and a promise to be "pure" in my personal life. I've moved on and I'm allowing the truth to slowly trickle out into the open. I look forward to the day when I can feel totally comfortable responding honestly to anyone (family included) about my exit from Christianity. I've mentioned it once to a co-worker in my new job. It felt both awkward and liberating at the same time. Perhaps there are local support groups where you live? I've joined a couple of local atheist groups and I'm hoping to find more atheist/ex-Christian friends who can accept me as I am without trying to convert me, judge me, or worry about my eternal destiny. I wish you clarity about your next steps and look forward to hearing more of your story.

viel Glück.

[Bhim]

Hello Crushed. First of all I feel I should say that this was a well-written account. I've worked with a lot of Germans and never had any communication problems. My advisor in grad school was a German. I'm a native English speaker and he used to vociferously correct the English on my papers and PhD dissertation. You guys have better English than we do, it would seem. But depending on how many Americans you know, you may not be aware of that.

 

Anyway, to some small extent (emphasis on small) I understand your predicament. I'm a Hindu from a Hindu family, and my conversion/deconversion happened before I got married, so when I left Christianity it actually strengthened my relationship with my family. However, I did deconvert at the zenith of my involvement in an evangelical community. I went to their homes every day. One of them was in my research group in grad school. And of course I lived with several of them. Publicizing my deconversion would have meant living in the midst of Christians in a very hostile environment. So, I took the easy way out. I didn't tell any of them, but slowly distanced myself from them, and when my lease ended at our shared house I just moved somewhere else. Obviously this isn't so easy to do with family. I'm just saying I understand what it's like to live among Christians and not be one of them. I'd say it was one of the most miserable years of my life.

 

I suppose leaving your husband is one option. Like another poster said, at one point you had your own life. But is that what you really want to do? Again, my experience isn't analogous to yours. But my wife is way more Hindu than I am, and has a lot of stringent beliefs she practices that I find downright weird. But I'd never leave her over these things. It doesn't even occur to me, because for all the annoying religious observances she performs, we also have a lot of great experiences together. You obviously came here to post your experiences because you're at a very troubling time in your life, and so naturally you're telling us about all of the travails to which Jesus has subjected you. But is this typical of your entire family life? I'm guessing you have a lot of positive experiences too. If that's so, then you have to weigh that against what you would gain by being open about your beliefs.

 

I really hesitate to provide any suggestions because you're obviously a fair bit older than me, and so I'm not in a position to be providing life advice. But by way of observation, the choice of keeping your beliefs private and making a public declaration of atheism seems like a false dichotomy. One can always express doubt or reservation without explicitly saying "I'm an atheist and have been for years." The nice thing about not being a Christian is not having to think in terms of black and white.

 

Regardless of what you do, I think you'll find a very helpful community here. Whether you are public or private with your lack of belief in Jesus, having no one to talk to can be very tough. Online anonymity provides an invaluable means of sharing your thoughts with others, and I hope you'll continue to do so.

[Mothernature]

Hi crushed, I am very sorry for what you and your kids are going through. That is a tough situation. It sounds like you have already made it through some tough times so you will endure. I too am going through the motions of church and am trying to figure out how to live with my husband who recently changed to fundamentalism, while not messing up my children. No one knows my stance yet although I think my religious indifference is a good hint for him.

 

A couple things that came to mind from reading your post...can you get help from your oldest child or is he/she still at home? It sounds like your kids are on your side and if there is any abuse still happening you need to get them and yourself out of there. Maybe some of your church friends or previous church friends would help you if they knew how your husband treats you? He would not believe in divorce if he is a fundie so that should work in your favour if you choose to stay and he finds out your true beliefs.  Do you have family you can turn too? I don't know what to say about lying to your friends as I'm still figuring that part out too. I tend to be more of a listener than an advisor so I'm not in as deep as you. Good luck and I hope you find the support you need here!

[LostinParis]

Hello @crushed, it seems you are feeling trapped, I often feel this too. But in reality my husband is the one who is imprisoned. He was indoctrinated when he was young, through the use of scare tactics. His fear of hell prevents him from questioning his religion. His eyes and ears are shut tightly.

 

Nowdays when my husband acts domineering and controlling I remind myself that he is afraid, and I am able to view him with compassion.

 

It is unlikely that your husband would instantly divorce you, as divorce is seen as a major sin by Christian fundamentalists. I felt sure that my husband would leave me once I told him that I was no longer a Christian. However I have more power in our relationship than I ever realised. It has taken many months of yelling, but he has finally accepted my decision. We have seen a secular marriage counsellor to help us reach a compromise over how we parent our children.

 

If you are worried that your husband may become violent towards you or your children then you will need to make a plan before you reveal your atheism. For example, hide some money for yourself, make sure you have an income, make some secular friends for emotional support, find a safe place to stay with your children, speak to a psychologist and lawyer for advice.

 

I am impressed that your children grew up in an environment of dogma, yet remain unconvinced of their father's beliefs. It seems that you have raised them to be independant thinkers. Well done mama!

 

Welcome to Ex-c, you are not alone in this.

[crushed]

Good Evening and Hello to everybody   

 

First of all I just want to thank you for all your replies - I never thought, that so many would read and reply to my little letter  

But not only the amount of replies, but most of all the compassion, the empathy and the warmth has really touched me right now while reading - and to be honest, I am a little speachless ....

I have reveal my "darkest secret"  here and I only see friendly and motivating answers - that is simply amazing - I thank all of you for that. 

It is almost midnight over here, so I just want to share some little thoughts about my situation right now and give some explainations. 

Our children are in the age of 23, 18, 16 and 11. Three boys and one little girl. 

As you recognized, we are a cultural mixed couple, my husband from nigeria, myself from germany. That is the other conflict in our relationship, but it works together. 

My husband grew up in a strict religious, catholic family and decided later on, to belong to a penticostal community. 

That means, the believe in God is essential for him and a part of his personality, which he can not change. This is why a non-believing wife would be a knife in his heart and impossible to bear. 

I understand that.

I have confess to my second son, which is still living at home, that I am no more a believer and the told me, that he is not surprised - clever boy  I just wanted to be honest with him .

I dont think of leaving my husband, altough many things would be easier for me.....  but to be honest, I simply love him with all and everything he is. Since the first day I meet him, I love him and I dont think, that I will ever stop doing that. I am ready to surrender a lot for him - even now - because I know he is not a bad person and has a good heart. But he is sooooo brainwashed  My only boundry is our children -  this is where our conflict is growing right now - they are to old to be controlled and I also refuse to force them to many of his biblical imaginations. But this is where my patience ends and where I am not ready to follow his laws..... if he will leave me because of this - I can not change it - but I will continue to be on their side and to protect their right to build up a life of their own . 

And of course is my little sweet daughter another reason of staying with him - she loves him so much ... it would break my heart to separate her from her Daddy. 

He has never be physicaly violent to me - if not I would immediatly leave with my kids. 

I am ready to continue to go to church with him, because I know , how important it is for him and I want to see him happy. And I usally dont hold back much with my oppinion about preachings and churches, for him to slowly understand, that this is not my world. But I think a hard confrontation with the truth, that I became an atheist would destroy to much in our relationship. So I will hold on and try to be on his side, but also I am trying to find a way how to live a life, that is not affected by all that religious stuff.  I agree with mothernature, I started to be a listener, not an advicer And  Bhims answer, that he is able to live with his wife, which is a hindu, it has showed me, there must be a way, without destroying everything we have build up and without destroying the love I still have for him. 

Sorry.... it wasnt a short reply

 

I wish all of you a peaceful and happy week - thanks for everything 

 

 

[Margee]

32 minutes ago, crushed said:

 

I wish all of you a peaceful and happy week - thanks for everything 

 

 

 

Somehow my dear friend, I think you know the true meaning of love. Your response was beautiful. I wish you well. It's your own little secret for a while. Just between you and you.  If you can create your own little world to live in outside of all the religious stuff and be happy, you go girl!  The very best to you!

[crushed]

Good morning dear friends

 

 

Hello Margee,  

Yes ! I am trying my very best to balance a life between the needs of husbands and my own needs and convictions ! And this forum helps me a lot 

 

There is one point, that I really dont understand in most of the christians, but maybe other religions are the same.......

Why is it so hard for them, to accept people without believe ? Why is it such a thorn in their eye, to see somebody living without religion ? 

I mean, either somebody believe in something or not - it is nothing you can force yourself to do....

In my case, I wouldnt expect my husband to give up his believe - that would be predicilous ! He couldnt ! So why is the question about my own disbelief so essential for our life ? 

Altough he never know about disbelief - only about wrong or so called "lukewarm" believe. 

Why is it not possible, for him to do, what is important for him  and leave the others to do the things that makes them happy ? 

Specially when I think about the verse in the bible, where it is said, that a believer will provide eternal life and salvation for his spouse and children ? ( 1. Corinthians, 7:14) 

So why is it necessary to stress each and everybody in the family ? If somebody believe in these words of the bible - than all that pressure is completly unnecessary. 

Some wifes use to follow their husbands to football stadion, not because they like football, but to see their husband happy and to share that happyness with him. 

And some husbands follow their wive to shopping because of the same reason ! 

But for a strong believer, all that sacrifice is not enough - you must love going to church, you must be excited about the preaching, you must be satisfied and comforted through a prayer and reading the bible suppose to have the same effect like a day in spa ......... ? 

But when you hate going to church, fall asleep during the preaching, hardly pray 5 minutes and dont read the bible because of to many unlogical stuff - then you are not loveable !

This is one of the points, that really makes me angry. 

What is your experience  with the believers in your family or friends ? 

I would like to know  

 

 

[MOHO]

Two reasons here, @crushed,

 

Believers must have their loved one's believe also because.

1. They believe that you will not be with them in some afterlife if you don't believe.

2. Anyone who does not believe, but especially those who once believed but now do not, means that they too could lose their belief. And that scares the shit out of them.

 

    - MOHO (Mind Of His Own)

[Scugnizzo]

On 1/6/2018 at 1:47 AM, crushed said:

Hello everybody. I am new here and i am also a german, so my english might not be very good, but I think it will be enough to express my situation 

To make it very short - I grew up in a complet atheistic familiy and had no conetction to any religion or believe in my life. Even after I meet my husband, which is an nigerian citizen, our life wasnt influenced by religious topics or matters. 

But after our marriage in Nigeria and his return after one year, he came back as a "born again christian" and introduce me into all that religious stuff and I had no choice, than to join him in prayers, fasten and believe. I got pregnant very fast and was about to lose the pregnancy, as he asked me for fasting and prayer for 3 days . I nearly collaps after that time during his prayers, but  I had no problem about the pregnancy again. For him it was a clear sign of God, for myself I always thought, that I nearly collapsed from hunger  

Anyway, he found a penticostal church in our area, where we went to and I tried to arrange with the situation. I also tried to build up an believing spirit, and there was times that I honestly said to be a believer. I never agreed with my husband in all the rituals, that he claimed to be necessary, like fasting ( I am a good eater ), or waking up by midnight to pray ( as a mother of 4 baby I set my sleep above everything ). 

But I tried. 

Now our children are almost grown up, they are 23, 18, 16 and 11 ....  they use to riot against his strict way of believing, they dont like to go to church, which we have been forced for many, many years. Me myself have completly lost my believe due to the strict and even agressiv way of religion my husband set in our familiy. He use to beat them as they was still very small, if they dont stay quiet during prayer, which took many times up to 30 minutes.... later on there was always presure to be in church at the right time and each child needed to dress up very proberly, which was my responsibility - of course me by myself needed to look perfect and smile always - no matter what kind of stress or strife has gone on before church. 

We have changed church three times because no church seem to be godly enough for my husband. Last summer we have started to go to a new church and my husband wanted our two big sons to join some acitivities there, but they dont have any interest in it - he dont even knew, that they dont care about religion or believe at all. So as he asked them, which service they choose and they replied : "none", it escaleted and he was shouting and screaming at them and even tried to beat the one who didnt keept quiet about that horrible situation. 

This was the very day, I droped anything like religion and believe in my life and nothing and nobody will ever bring me back to that horrible, slaving and missusing system they call christianity. 

Since then I have became an atheist. It is not to much a problem to myself, I feel free since never before and able to handle things in my life, which I couldnt handle before. 

But one problem remain in my life...... nobody knows !! 

Not my husband, he would divorce me if he knew. None of my christian friends, which I appriciate for their good heart and attitude - because if they knew, my husband also would . I can tell nobody my situation and I am always confronted with believers, who espect me to pray for them - I am still going to church, pretending to sing their songs and still take communion, knowing that I am lying every day. Many of our friends are coming for christians meeting to our house, they ask me for advice and prayer and I constantly lie to them , because I can not confess, that I am not sharing their believe. 

It makes me so sad to be so unhonest to this people   Even if I dont share their believe, I still love and respect them and I am forced to lie to them ..... and of course my relationship to my husband can never be honest and pure again, because he would hate me and leave me in the moment he would know my real self and disbelieve. 

I am not especting solutions from this community, I know I am condemmed to live this life till the bitter end - but I am simply greatful to be able to share my grief and pain with somebody

How many of you are living the same life I am living ? I would like to hear from you   

I understand your plight. I live the same reality. I cannot "come out" as an agnostic who practices Buddhism so I live my life to the best I can, I have to hang out with Christians because my wife is a fervent believer, and if that faith works for them, so be it. Not for me anymore. I wasted 50 years of my life, in a sense, believing these stories. I must admit Christianity helped me in many ways, but it's toxic on many levels. Time for a change and hope we all survive this nasty Covid virus so we can live. If we get sick, however, our commission is to live well right here, right now. LIFE is what it's all about...short or long that it may be.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

13 hours ago, Scugnizzo said:

I understand your plight. I live the same reality. I cannot "come out" as an agnostic who practices Buddhism so I live my life to the best I can, I have to hang out with Christians because my wife is a fervent believer, and if that faith works for them, so be it. Not for me anymore. I wasted 50 years of my life, in a sense, believing these stories. I must admit Christianity helped me in many ways, but it's toxic on many levels. Time for a change and hope we all survive this nasty Covid virus so we can live. If we get sick, however, our commission is to live well right here, right now. LIFE is what it's all about...short or long that it may be.

 

Crushed hasn't visited this forum in over 2 years.  Sad case.  I wonder how it turned out?