A little consideration would be nice

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

I have very few christian people that know I dont believe anymore but those that do I have explained in depth about the pain one must go through when they come to this realization. I for one think it is very rude and inconsiderate to ask someone who has been hurt by religion to go to church, gospel concerts, christian movies, christian oriented cruises, and the like. At this point I've accepted my new reality and like i said before am comfortable with it but I know attending any of those things will only serve to bring up bad feelings.

         There are some things I would like to do however like attend alternate faith services of my choice (IF I WANT TO), or practice meditation to get in touch with my inner self, or maybe even hike into the woods to commune with nature.  

       Anyway it would be nice if the Christian would put themselves in my shoes and imagine what it must feel like to lose that part of themselves and then think to themselves if they would want to go to any of those things after going through that. It is kind of like asking mike tysons battered wife if she wants to watch his boxing match on pay per view..... i mean thats just not something you do. But anyway just thought I would rant a bit since I had something to rant about. :-) 

 

Dark Bishop

[older]

Hm. Annoying, for sure. Makes one wonder if they are doing this to try to get you back into the fold or if their social life is inseparable from their religious life and they just don't realize that you aren't part of that any more. Some folks just can't see beyond themselves.

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

3 hours ago, older said:

Hm. Annoying, for sure. Makes one wonder if they are doing this to try to get you back into the fold or if their social life is inseparable from their religious life and they just don't realize that you aren't part of that any more. Some folks just can't see beyond themselves.

i think its probably a lil of both maybe? I guess they cant imagine how anyone could be hurt by their "all loving God"  and they hope that i will "feel the spirit" again at some function. I dunno. It's just a bit annoying like you said. I guess I was probably the same way. Not wanting someone to "go to hell" and all. Oh well it is what it is. If ya start bitching about it then you become the bad guy so I just try to brush it off. 

[buffettphan]

Empathy is not (most) Christians' strong suit.

[♦ Fuego ♦]

For an analog, think about how many police are harmed by women whom they went to protect in a domestic violence situation (it's common). In the same way, believers are always trying to protect their god and his internal image of being "always good all the time" and keep witnessing and presenting as many baits as they can to lure you back. Until they can see past the mind-consuming lie of their faith, they can't have compassion for one that they think was tricked by the devil. That's the same reason that facts tend to splat on the surface of this force-field and slide off without effect.

 

The only ones I've found that don't operate this way are the very liberal believers from non-fundy denominations. They treat religion as something sacred but personal, more of a good-luck thing they expect others to treat with respect but don't push on others. I know a couple of Lutherans from Minnesota that are this way. During my fundy days, I would have seen all of us here as simply tricked by the devil and hardly listen to anything you said while keeping up a constant mental "spiritual battle" against the devil with scripture verses and my mighty shield of faith, blah blah blah.

 

So yes, it is rude and inconsiderate and they are unlikely to change without a life disruption or something that grabs their attention that causes them to re-evaluate their faith.

[ToHellWithMe]

Gotta go with Older here. It's annoying but what can you expect? Shouldn't YOU be considerate before you expect them to be considerate? They operate from a set of values you already are familiar with, whereas you come from territory that is foreign to them. You can emphatize with their fear of hell and what not. If you have been hurt by religion, aren't they still abused by it?

 

They might be rude if they refuse to take a simple no for an answer, but to expect them to truly understand you... nah, mate. Be the bigger man if you think you are in the right and they are misguided. Respect is the only thing you should demand. And harshly at that.

[Tsathoggua9]

2 hours ago, Fuego said:

For an analog, think about how many police are harmed by women whom they went to protect in a domestic violence situation (it's common). In the same way, believers are always trying to protect their god and his internal image of being "always good all the time" and keep witnessing and presenting as many baits as they can to lure you back. Until they can see past the mind-consuming lie of their faith, they can't have compassion for one that they think was tricked by the devil. That's the same reason that facts tend to splat on the surface of this force-field and slide off without effect.

 

The only ones I've found that don't operate this way are the very liberal believers from non-fundy denominations. They treat religion as something sacred but personal, more of a good-luck thing they expect others to treat with respect but don't push on others. I know a couple of Lutherans from Minnesota that are this way. During my fundy days, I would have seen all of us here as simply tricked by the devil and hardly listen to anything you said while keeping up a constant mental "spiritual battle" against the devil with scripture verses and my mighty shield of faith, blah blah blah.

 

So yes, it is rude and inconsiderate and they are unlikely to change without a life disruption or something that grabs their attention that causes them to re-evaluate their faith.

 

 

"That's the same reason that facts tend to splat on the surface of this force-field and slide off without effect."  

 

Great line!  Love it!

[Geezer]

4 hours ago, ToHellWithMe said:

Gotta go with Older here. It's annoying but what can you expect? Shouldn't YOU be considerate before you expect them to be considerate? They operate from a set of values you already are familiar with, whereas you come from territory that is foreign to them. You can emphatize with their fear of hell and what not. If you have been hurt by religion, aren't they still abused by it?

 

They might be rude if they refuse to take a simple no for an answer, but to expect them to truly understand you... nah, mate. Be the bigger man if you think you are in the right and they are misguided. Respect is the only thing you should demand. And harshly at that.

 

I agree. They are incapable of relating to anyone that doesn't believe in the Christian God(s). They see non--believers as agents of the Devil. Christians live in their own make believe world & it's pretty much impenetrable. 

[MOHO]

9 minutes ago, Geezer said:

 

I agree. They are incapable of relating to anyone that doesn't believe in the Christian God(s). They see non--believers as agents of the Devil. Christians live in their own make believe world & it's pretty much impenetrable. 

 

Had to learn that lesson the hard way...

[older]

We have a friend who is a fundy and we finally had to tell her that if she didn't back off it would damage the friendship. She heard us and backed off; we're fine now.

 

OTOH, I was at a memorial service last year and a lady deacon came up to me and invited me to their service. I politely declined and after being pressed, I said I was a secular humanist. We parted, but she came up to me a second time about 20 minutes later and engaged me again. I again politely declined and she said something about the error of my ways. We left it there, but I was ready to explode if she tried a third time.