Moxie Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 I've been living this way for a long time because I have this idea that there's no telling when I'm going to die. It could be 50 years from now. It could be 5 days from now. I struggle with making 5-year and 7-year plans because of this belief. How do you balance these ways of approaching life and death? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted February 28, 2018 Super Moderator Share Posted February 28, 2018 Making plans is what you're doing TODAY. It's the journey, not the destination, after all. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disillusioned Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 You have to find a balance. Live for today, but plan enough for tomorrow that tomorrow you'll still be able to live for today. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator LogicalFallacy Posted March 1, 2018 Moderator Share Posted March 1, 2018 Multi stage planning? Long term I assume I'm going to live to 80+ thus save for retirement etc. If I thought I was going to die in two years I'd sell my house and go travel the world. That's bad planning though because in the event I don't die I'm now destitute. If you have no serious illness with medical expected time to live then assume you are going to live to the average age and plan accordingly. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 On 2/28/2018 at 2:23 PM, Bookworm said: I've been living this way for a long time because I have this idea that there's no telling when I'm going to die. It could be 50 years from now. It could be 5 days from now. I struggle with making 5-year and 7-year plans because of this belief. How do you balance these ways of approaching life and death? This is my problem too. When I was diagnosed with medical issues, I decided I'm living only for today. Honestly, I don't really make long-term plans, and never really have even before I started thinking of all the difficult "what if" scenarios. At most, I had 5 year plans, and this is what I tend to stick with today as well. I know this is because a lot of my decisions are decided more by feelings then by straight logic and rationale. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing, I know I could have more balance. But is there any "success sheet" for this life, when you get to the end of it? Did you do it the right way because you planned a brilliant career, saved money, bought that house etc? Yes I know, there's a lot to be said for financial security, but seeing as I doubt I'm one of those people that's ever going to have much of it due the the realities of my life, I have placed priorities elsewhere. Also, when life throws enough shitty curve balls your way for several years straight, it changes your thinking, you realize how many more shitty curve balls there could be down the road, so it changes your priorities a bit. I have weighed the options, and they come out in favour of doing what I would like to do, while I can still plan for it, and do it. Now if I wasn't single of course I'd be going about this a completely differently, but as I see it, there's only my dreams and goals, and a finite amount of time to undertake them. Time is so precious, most people don't realize, until they are threatened with it running out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ DestinyTurtle ◊ Posted March 2, 2018 Share Posted March 2, 2018 On 2/28/2018 at 11:23 AM, Bookworm said: I've been living this way for a long time because I have this idea that there's no telling when I'm going to die. It could be 50 years from now. It could be 5 days from now. I struggle with making 5-year and 7-year plans because of this belief. How do you balance these ways of approaching life and death? My advice is to make plans for the inherent benefits of having the plan, unattached to the actual fruition of that particular plan. When you live life without ambitions you'll forego opportunities you wouldn't even know you had if you weren't pursuing a different plan. You might pursue one plan, hit a wall, and in the process discover that you now know enough or have enough experiences to pursue a better plan. It's a way of both living in the mind and living in the moment simultaneously. It's also just exciting to have a goal. If you get overly attached to an expected result you'll get bogged down my life's natural uncertainties. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 1 hour ago, DestinyTurtle said: My advice is to make plans for the inherent benefits of having the plan, unattached to the actual fruition of that particular plan. When you live life without ambitions you'll forego opportunities you wouldn't even know you had if you weren't pursuing a different plan. You might pursue one plan, hit a wall, and in the process discover that you now know enough or have enough experiences to pursue a better plan. It's a way of both living in the mind and living in the moment simultaneously. It's also just exciting to have a goal. If you get overly attached to an expected result you'll get bogged down my life's natural uncertainties. This is good advice. I have some long-term plans, but I try not to get too attached to them as I'm then bitterly disappointed if realities of the situation force me to bend, which they have inevitably done several times. I used to be really ambitious, career-wise, I had a long-term plan of doing my PhD, and becoming a professor or researcher in academia, but life has a way of throwing curveballs at you. I find it easier now to be realistic, and although it has taken a lot out of me, I've learned to settle for less, not judge myself as harshly as I used to, and become more flexible. I think we should just all set our own standards and goals, and try not to judge others by ours or ourselves by those of others, as many times we have no idea what realities people are living with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted March 3, 2018 Moderator Share Posted March 3, 2018 On 2/28/2018 at 3:23 PM, Bookworm said: I've been living this way for a long time because I have this idea that there's no telling when I'm going to die. It could be 50 years from now. It could be 5 days from now. I struggle with making 5-year and 7-year plans because of this belief. How do you balance these ways of approaching life and death? Hi bookworm! Just a couple of thoughts here. I was one of the lucky ones so far in 63 years not to get hit by a bus, a car...no real sicknesses (except one that I brought on myself that could take me out in a few years. *Copd*) So I didn't die in a plane crash or drown in some ocean yet. I've been extremely lucky to have lived this long. And yet, my sister died very young so you just never do know when the last day is here. I could keel over right now as I'm typing to you. That's how aware of death I am. So here's what I wished I had done when I was younger. Put money away for when you are so tired of working and want to retire. If you will want to travel, save a shit load of money every week and do not touch it. If it builds up nicely, (and you die) you can always pass it along to a loved one. What a wonderful gift that would be in your memory. But if you don't die, by the time you reach an older age, you will be able to relax a little. I thought god would always provide for me for many, many years and now I know that none of that was true, I am now going back to work full time. And I'm not really happy about it, but I must do the best I can with a half decent attitude. It's all about survival. So save that money right now for the later years. Besides the above, I would have a lot of short-term goals, day to day goals and maybe even 5-10 year goals. You've got nothing to lose because goals are what keep us going. Best wishes! Big (hug) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RachelSkates Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 I read a lot of Marcus Aurelius. He tells you A LOT about life and death and all that. Even moreso than Seneca who is also good at it. But Marcus Aurelius? Wow...........He will sober you up in a jiffy. PS Let me add that I am poor and disabled from all the Christian shit I went through (and ancestral love of poverty in our specific cult) as well as horrific PTSD. I am sick with illnesses and have no hope. And still Marcus Aurelius does it for me. Makes me realize how short we are here and what matters (not bloody much) and how soon we are forgotten even by those who love us. I have one person who loves me, but that is all. It helps me to detach from all the suffering and chaos and hate of my family who I wanted to love and also disconnect from wanting to love them. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insightful Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 20 hours ago, RachelSkates said: I read a lot of Marcus Aurelius. He tells you A LOT about life and death and all that. Agreed! I love Marcus Aurelius! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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