Anushka

I just feel sad about everything..

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..that has happened to me- how my mum used me and created problems for me for no reason.. How she is the biggest bitch, still is, who hurts people with her words.. 

How certain 'friends' used me... 

I feel broken- I am a different person now-lost my innocence and inner happiness and curiosity..

I keep thinking what if I don't find a boyfriend.. There are people who don't find love... :(

This might sound silly- but I actually feel sad about Brexit- how a lot of people will lose their jobs... It won't affect me personally but feeling sad about others..

 

I feel sad about all the crime and poverty in the world... Angry about the fact that certain people even if you try to help them- they don't want help- a lady told me how she helped this homeless guy get into a flat, bought furniture for him, but he got into trouble again...

 

Feeling sad about war...

 

This sadness is not going away...

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Sometimes the sadness comes and sometimes it doesn't.

 

I've been very sad about comic books and the pissing contest going on with comic book films with the media (specifically film and comic book fandom media groups). The fans are only hurting themselves and giving into fanrage.

 

Just try to do something to forget about is all I can say.

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Sadness is very close to empathy.  

 

There is no greater human virtue than having true empathy.

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We all feel sad sometimes.  If the sadness doesn't go away and you have had it more than two weeks then tell your doctor.  There is no need to suffer on your own.

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First and foremost, do not focus on the world because in reality there isn't much you can do about it.  You can't do anything about Brexit and you can't stop violent human nature.  If you find a way to stop worrying about these, you will at least alleviate some of that psychological weight. 

As for your mother and your single status, these are factors in your life that you CAN control.  I don't know the nuanced details of your situation so this is the extent of the advice I can offer.  However, it does seem like you're falling into depression.  I know from personal experience how that can grind any attempts at personal improvement to a halt.  Perhaps you may want to take @mymistake's advice and see a doctor if it persists for a long time.

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16 hours ago, Anushka said:

..that has happened to me- how my mum used me and created problems for me for no reason.. How she is the biggest bitch, still is, who hurts people with her words.. 

How certain 'friends' used me... 

I feel broken- I am a different person now-lost my innocence and inner happiness and curiosity..

I keep thinking what if I don't find a boyfriend.. There are people who don't find love... :(

This might sound silly- but I actually feel sad about Brexit- how a lot of people will lose their jobs... It won't affect me personally but feeling sad about others..

 

I feel sad about all the crime and poverty in the world... Angry about the fact that certain people even if you try to help them- they don't want help- a lady told me how she helped this homeless guy get into a flat, bought furniture for him, but he got into trouble again...

 

Feeling sad about war...

 

This sadness is not going away...

Hi sweetie. I understand. About 4 months ago I had to practically stop reading everything on the internet and couldn't even read or respond to these threads anymore because I found it too frustrating that the world was in the shape it was. I can't stand all the sadness that people go through. One thing I have learned in my life is that you must take care of yourself and that may mean protecting yourself from all the bad news. When a member died here a few months ago I wanted to leave Ex-c. It got that bad for me. But as others have said, we cannot fix the world. And you can't fix people. You can't control what they are thinking, doing or how they are not loving you. Sometimes it's good to get away from anyone who hurts you over and over. I have had to do that to protect my heart from getting hurt.

 

Keep yourself busy with positive things. Work. I stopped working for awhile and it was the worst thing for me. Too much time on my hands and too much time to think. So I am back working and as much as I dislike working, it is good for me. Get some positive hobbies going. Take care of you. You don't have to 'find' love. Just be who you are and someone is going to be attracted to your sensitivity. And do not let anyone ever take advantage of your sensitive nature. Get outside and walk/ exercise. Play some really upbeat music. Force yourself to do these things and you will soon start to feel a bit better hopefully. If the sadness and depression won't go away after trying to create a new life for yourself, go see your doctor.

 

I wish you the best hun.

 

Big (hug)

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I echo Margee. The world is full of lots of trouble and even those close to us can be sour. I stopped reading comments on news sites because they are invariably trolls who want to cause a negative reaction. There are people who feed off of that energy, and I don't want to slime myself by taking in their caustic attitude. I choose to be polite, kind, and loving, with good solid boundaries to guard myself against being drawn into hopelessness and fury. I can appreciate simple things like focusing on my breathing deeply, a tasty meal, sunshine, feeding the birds (who have their own squabbles and battles), and singing. I'm focusing a lot of my time recently on learning some new songs in Portuguese and French, with Brazilian rhythms. That's a nice distraction, and eventually I'll be able to share them with others to bring some beauty to them.  There is a lot of good around us at the same time, but the nasty stuff and people do their best to keep our attention. Choose to bring yourself health and well-being by focusing on the good, distancing yourself from the nasty, and remembering who you want to be and become and taking steps towards that life.

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58 minutes ago, Margee said:

Hi sweetie. I understand. About 4 months ago I had to practically stop reading everything on the internet and couldn't even read or respond to these threads anymore because I found it too frustrating that the world was in the shape it was. I can't stand all the sadness that people go through. One thing I have learned in my life is that you must take care of yourself and that may mean protecting yourself from all the bad news. When a member died here a few months ago I wanted to leave Ex-c. It got that bad for me. But as others have said, we cannot fix the world. And you can't fix people. You can't control what they are thinking, doing or how they are not loving you. Sometimes it's good to get away from anyone who hurts you over and over. I have had to do that to protect my heart from getting hurt.

 

Keep yourself busy with positive things. Work. I stopped working for awhile and it was the worst thing for me. Too much time on my hands and too much time to think. So I am back working and as much as I dislike working, it is good for me. Get some positive hobbies going. Take care of you. You don't have to 'find' love. Just be who you are and someone is going to be attracted to your sensitivity. And do not let anyone ever take advantage of your sensitive nature. Get outside and walk/ exercise. Play some really upbeat music. Force yourself to do these things and you will soon start to feel a bit better hopefully. If the sadness and depression won't go away after trying to create a new life for yourself, go see your doctor.

 

I wish you the best hun.

 

Big (hug)

 

That was a really sweet post Margee.. Thank you... Yeah I need to reduce my time online. 

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I believe it's good to give yourself permission to feel the things that you feel. It's ok to feel sad... but don't be attached to the feeling indefinitely, if you can help it. I like to picture it as the feeling passing through you, with each breath. 

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19 hours ago, ShotoManhattan said:

I've been very sad about comic books and the pissing contest going on with comic book films with the media......

Seriously? That is nothing for anyone to be sad about. Sounds like clinical depression to me, but there are no medical professionals here so get thee to a real one, okay?

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On 3/11/2018 at 2:23 AM, Anushka said:

(snip)

This sadness is not going away...

 

Your post seems fair and good. Nothing wrong with being sad about sad stuff. The sadness not going away sounds weird but there can be a perfectly good reason. Like maybe you've not fully dealt with those facts of life yet and have to make your peace with them. In that case it's work that has to be done regardless of how much there is. And sometimes re-done to when you have gone astray.

 

I don't trust psychologists and meds are the fashionable, optimistic and not fully understood treatment in our age like lobotomy was in the previous age. However, nothing wrong with seeking council as long as you take the responsibility. Other people can serve to give pointers but they aren't you. Only you can begin to know you.

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40 minutes ago, ToHellWithMe said:

 

Your post seems fair and good. Nothing wrong with being sad about sad stuff. The sadness not going away sounds weird but there can be a perfectly good reason. Like maybe you've not fully dealt with those facts of life yet and have to make your peace with them. In that case it's work that has to be done regardless of how much there is. And sometimes re-done to when you have gone astray.

 

I don't trust psychologists and meds are the fashionable, optimistic and not fully understood treatment in our age like lobotomy was in the previous age. However, nothing wrong with seeking council as long as you take the responsibility. Other people can serve to give pointers but they aren't you. Only you can begin to know you.

 

I love your username :-D

 

I saw a counsellor years ago- listened to her advice/suggestions which fucked up my life!

 

I find Samaritans more useful. Had only one guy who was shockingly rude and direct when I rang Samaritans. The rest have been helpful. 

 

I actually recommend Samaritans to anyone in the UK. You can talk to them about absolutely anything. 

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2 hours ago, DestinyTurtle said:

I believe it's good to give yourself permission to feel the things that you feel. It's ok to feel sad... but don't be attached to the feeling indefinitely, if you can help it. I like to picture it as the feeling passing through you, with each breath. 

 

You are right- it is okay to feel sad- thanks for that... I didn't think about it that way..... 

Reading all your answers is soothing...

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Anushka:

Me too at times. It can seem completely overwhelming. When I moved into my university office there was a sign pasted on the inside of the door by the previous occupant; you could only see it when the door was closed. I left the sign there for the 28 years I was there, and looked at it often, particularly on those days when you're feeling like you're caught in some sort of sticky quicksand that's pulling you under. It was the Serenity Prayer. And while most of us here have left gods and prayer behind, I found the main lines of it to be quite helpful: 

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The power to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

 

Right now those overwhelming feelings have been stirred up by the current political situation. It seems hopeless. But a former student of mine sent me a holiday card that contained the following quote, which has also proven helpful:

Start where you are.

Use what you have.

Do what you can.

—Arthur Ashe

 

 

 

 

 

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7 hours ago, older said:

 

Anushka:

Me too at times. It can seem completely overwhelming. When I moved into my university office there was a sign pasted on the inside of the door by the previous occupant; you could only see it when the door was closed. I left the sign there for the 28 years I was there, and looked at it often, particularly on those days when you're feeling like you're caught in some sort of sticky quicksand that's pulling you under. It was the Serenity Prayer. And while most of us here have left gods and prayer behind, I found the main lines of it to be quite helpful: 

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The power to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

 

Right now those overwhelming feelings have been stirred up by the current political situation. It seems hopeless. But a former student of mine sent me a holiday card that contained the following quote, which has also proven helpful:

Start where you are.

Use what you have.

Do what you can.

—Arthur Ashe

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you :)

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13 hours ago, Anushka said:

I love your username :-D

 

Oh, that does it. Marry me, sunshine.

 

Maybe you need someone or someones who can appreciate your kindness and who won't mistake it for weakness. Easier said than done, of course.

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20 hours ago, ToHellWithMe said:

 

Oh, that does it. Marry me, sunshine.

 

Maybe you need someone or someones who can appreciate your kindness and who won't mistake it for weakness. Easier said than done, of course.

 

LOL :-D

Sure, I will :-D

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Me, too. If Christianity took that away, I would be more likely to believe in it. If any religion did. But what religion every helped anyone who needed it? 

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11 hours ago, RachelSkates said:

Me, too. If Christianity took that away, I would be more likely to believe in it. If any religion did. But what religion every helped anyone who needed it? 

 

If there was a real Jesus, there would not be so much suffering in the world. 

Whoever wrote the bible and invented Christianity is really clever. They have an answer in the Bible for every question raised against Christianity.

 

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I think the secret to a happy life is to let the past go and focus on a project or a life's work that occupies you completely.  Some people find that in religion but others, like us Ex-Christians, find it in something else. It is just a change in focus. Fairly simple, but we  humans complicate everything and the modern mass media and information overload does not help.

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