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Goodbye Jesus

Religion switches off your inner voice.


Lydie

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I’m just realising this and I don’t know if it can be undone.

 

Reading the bible and sermons and thinking ‘well, that’s stupid’ (cursing fig trees etc.) but within a split second quashing that thought. 

 

I’m wrong

I’m sinful 

I’m not spiritual enough to understand properly 

Why isn’t the Holy Spirit telling me what to do

 

Also when someone does me wrong turning the other cheek and just forgiving instead of feeling angry with just cause and distancing myself from people who don’t have my best interests at heart.

 

I’ve squashed those instincts and wonder if I can resurrect them (pun intended).

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OMG. This is what torments me. The inner voice. For me, it turned it on and i CANNOT SHUT IT OFF.

 

All day, "You suck! I hate you!! YOu are a lie!! You are such a piece of shit"  LIterally all day. SOmetimes it is toward God. Other times toward me. It is so bad it is almost a voice I can hear.  It's not at that point, but I am afraid it will be.

 

It has bled over into my life now. If I hear a song, it sticks in my head, or an ad or whatever. A running comentary all day.

 

Yeah, it's mental illness, I know that. That makes me even more angry. God watched me go crazy and sat there and watched it.

 

Too bad I am just a little bundle of carbon. The amount of hate I have could cure world hunger. I would not wipe out a group of people like God does. People who go around acting like God (killing pelpe) are idiots. I would use it to help if I could. But I am powerlss.

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Lydie and Rachel, I strongly recommended the path I took on this.  It has worked wonders in my life and has pretty much banished all of those old programmed thoughts they put in my head.

 

Recommendation:  Think long, hard, and carefully to determine what YOUR unique moral code is.  What YOU really care about.  Commit it to on your Facebook page, or other public space.  By doing this you are filling "that spot" with what is truly moral, valuable, and important to YOU.  It will become quite hard to violate because it is of yourself.

 

Here is my moral/life statement.  It is what determines all of my decisions, and all of my interactions with others.  Most importantly, it allowed me to completely dump all of the church programmed knowledge that was in my brain:

 

"I care about facts, empathy, and treating all people fairly".

 

 

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On 21/03/2018 at 3:36 PM, Lydie said:

I’m just realising this and I don’t know if it can be undone.

 

Reading the bible and sermons and thinking ‘well, that’s stupid’ (cursing fig trees etc.) but within a split second quashing that thought. 

 

I’m wrong

I’m sinful 

I’m not spiritual enough to understand properly 

Why isn’t the Holy Spirit telling me what to do

 

Also when someone does me wrong turning the other cheek and just forgiving instead of feeling angry with just cause and distancing myself from people who don’t have my best interests at heart.

 

I’ve squashed those instincts and wonder if I can resurrect them (pun intended).

You need to go to factory settings in your brain, and reset your mind. But make sure you don't format your internal memory drive, or you'll end up a vegetable.

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Lydie and Rachel, 

 

For what it's worth, my inner conversations (never a monologue) used to be more like fights. There was yelling and crying, and it was often very unhelpful in decision making when they would disagree with each other, or just generally make noise. I don't audibly hear them, they're just thoughts that I can't ignore. 

 

What has helped me is understanding the mechanisms behind them. The way they try to do what makes sense (unfortunately they can learn that you getting hurt over and over again makes sense). Therapy, with a good secular therapist who knows what complex trauma does to a person's thought mechanisms, can be very helpful. It takes time, but the fighting inside can eventually turn into peace, and decisions can be rooted into love and self-respect. In some cases, techniques like EMDR when done right (with the good secular therapist) can build towards inner feeling of safety and security. 

 

Speaking from experience here, after having all my issues worsen up to suicidality when I tried to treat myself with religion and quack "therapists". I'm doing much better now, thanks to real doctors and therapists, and also certain meds taken at the right time. 

 

You're not alone. I hang out a lot in the Discord chat room if you want to drop me a line. Just remember that my time zone is GMT +2.

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Everyone has an inner voice.  Christianity lies to us about it.  This is just your brain's way to process language.  You think language even when you are not talking.  It's not a god or devils or angels nor any other being's voice - just yours.  Also your inner voice isn't a guide or wisdom or profound or a revelation.  It can be simply random.  If you fill your mind with Christian sermons then some of that will come through and color your inner voice.  But if you stop going to church and stop reading the Bible you can reduce the amount of Christianity you randomly think about.  Find something else to occupy your time.  Perhaps study classic movies.  Study great books.  I choose internet memes.  But whatever you pick it takes work if you want to reprogram the random parts of your mind.  It won't happen fast but in time you will notice a difference.  Find something you love and let it fill you.

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Thanks for the support.

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I don't know how well this will work for you, but it might be worth a try:  Whenever the negative inner voice speaks,  counter it by writing or speaking aloud a statement that negates it and promotes what you want to think and feel about the situation.

 

The more inputs you can send the positive message on, the better (although doing it in interpretive dance might be a bit much  :P).

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  • 9 months later...

Religion shuts off the mind entirely. 

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