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Goodbye Jesus

How weird were you when you were a Christian?


Anushka

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Just for fun :D

What were the behaviours you engaged in when you were a Jesus-lover that now makes you cringe and want to hide yourself???

Mine was telling random people that Jesus loves them!! :49: Yup I am serious, I actually did that! I did that to my ex-colleague, my doctor and a stranger on a plane!! I used to do that after hearing pastors saying stories of people saved from committing suicide after hearing someone say to them Jesus loves them!!

God do I want to curl up and die now!!! :HappyCry:

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29 minutes ago, Ann said:

In high school, I told a guy who was gay he was going to hell. I hate myself for that one. He laughed at me, so I hope I didn't hurt him, although I must have. Sometimes I worry my gay friends will disown me if they ever find out......

 

On a funny note, when I was little I believed I could heal people and would "lay hands" on my pets or friends if they were sick. What a weirdo:fun:

 

I once put hands on a sick baby about 2 on a plane:49: thankfully, her mom gave me permission as the baby was born sick :(

I knew this family by the way :)

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I too tried to lay hands on and heal and animal. I was at a park once and saw a squirrel with paralyzed hind legs that made me really, really sad. The part that's embarrassing as I now reflect on this, wasn't just the fact that I actually tried to lay hands on it and couldn't (he out maneuvered me with just two legs), but that I was so heartbroken and had a "revelation" in that moment. I seriously thought that God had used the squirrel to show me how much he loved people, ached for their restoration (as I ached for the squirrel's), and how he couldn't heal them because they were too afraid to let him get near for various reasons. 

 

Another time, I fainted in the kitchen for the first time in my life. When I finally came to, and my brain started registering the fact that I was face down on cold hard tiles trying to figure out what had happened, my first inclination was wondering if I was slayed by the holy spirit (which seemed so exciting) because just prior to fainting I was on my knees praying fervently for quite a awhile (which is OBVIOUSLY why all the blood rushed from my head when I quickly stood up). 

 

I also used to fall to the floor and sob if someone (always a guest pastor or  "anointed prophet" at church or conventions) touch me on the forehead during alter calls. 

 

WTF

 

The list could go on :49:

 

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1 hour ago, REM123 said:

I too tried to lay hands on and heal and animal. I was at a park once and saw a squirrel with paralyzed hind legs that made me really, really sad. The part that's embarrassing as I now reflect on this, wasn't just the fact that I actually tried to lay hands on it and couldn't (he out maneuvered me with just two legs), but that I was so heartbroken and had a "revelation" in that moment. I seriously thought that God had used the squirrel to show me how much he loved people, ached for their restoration (as I ached for the squirrel's), and how he couldn't heal them because they were too afraid to let him get near for various reasons. 

 

Another time, I fainted in the kitchen for the first time in my life. When I finally came to, and my brain started registering the fact that I was face down on cold hard tiles trying to figure out what had happened, my first inclination was wondering if I was slayed by the holy spirit (which seemed so exciting) because just prior to fainting I was on my knees praying fervently for quite a awhile (which is OBVIOUSLY why all the blood rushed from my head when I quickly stood up). 

 

I also used to fall to the floor and sob if someone (always a guest pastor or  "anointed prophet" at church or conventions) touch me on the forehead during alter calls. 

 

WTF

 

The list could go on :49:

 

 

I can relate to the squirrel revelation.... 

I too would create f****d up meanings and messages from God in my mind.

 

Shudder!!!

 

No one hears from God! It is your own mind. Everything is just conditioning. 

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I bought every single "Living Epistle" t-shirt and I wore one almost every day.  I'm talking about this kind of crap:

 

9128000048.jpg

 

 

I thought I was being a good witness.

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9 minutes ago, mymistake said:

I bought every single "Living Epistle" t-shirt and I wore one almost every day.  I'm talking about this kind of crap:

 

9128000048.jpg

 

 

I thought I was being a good witness.

 

Haha. Yeah, I had some of those LE shirts, too, although not the one shown here. I also wore them a lot. I cringe now at the memory! 

 

 

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I found pictures of a few of the shirts I had. Some others aren't coming up in my searches, but here are the ones I found.

 

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Not what I did but what paster ass-fuck did.

 

I was in front of the stage after church one Sunday about two years ago - kinda noonish - looking for that shot in the arm as I was losing faith. This guy was praying over me and began to "speak in tongues."

 

That was my final WHAT THE FUCK? moment. 

 

 

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39 minutes ago, MOHO said:

Not what I did but what paster ass-fuck did.

 

I was in front of the stage after church one Sunday about two years ago - kinda noonish - looking for that shot in the arm as I was losing faith. This guy was praying over me and began to "speak in tongues."

 

That was my final WHAT THE FUCK? moment. 

 

 

 

 

Be glad you weren't at the wrong kind of Pentecostal denomination.  The pastor will gently rock your head back and forth when your eyes are closed.  Then he will switch directions and rock your head the other way.  Then when you get dizzy and can't stand up any more  . . . Haleluya!  The Holy Ghost has slain you in the spirit!  By the Power of Gawd!!!  Isn't JeZus amazing!!!

 

 

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Just now, mymistake said:

 

 

Be glad you weren't at the wrong kind of Pentecostal denomination.  The pastor will gently rock your head back and forth when your eyes are closed.  Then he will switch directions and rock your head the other way.  Then when you get dizzy and can't stand up any more  . . . Haleluya!  The Holy Ghost has slain you in the spirit!  By the Power of Gawd!!!  Isn't JeZus amazing!!!

 

 

 

OK now THAT is the crap of con-artists! :o

 

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2 minutes ago, MOHO said:

 

OK now THAT is the crap of con-artists! :o

 

 

 

Well he was a pastor . . . I mean think about it.    :D

 

The weird part is that I knew how to defeat this technique but for some reason I still believed in the Holy Spirit and the anointing of God.

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2 hours ago, mymistake said:

 

 

Be glad you weren't at the wrong kind of Pentecostal denomination.  The pastor will gently rock your head back and forth when your eyes are closed.  Then he will switch directions and rock your head the other way.  Then when you get dizzy and can't stand up any more  . . . Haleluya!  The Holy Ghost has slain you in the spirit!  By the Power of Gawd!!!  Isn't JeZus amazing!!!

 

 

 

The "Holy (Verti-) Ghost", eh?

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  • 3 weeks later...

Does almost doing something weird count?  I was almost convinced to walk into a strip joint blindfolded with a ministry to pray over the debauchery.  Fortunately, even in my most batshit days, I had enough sense to abstain from that.

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On 4/3/2018 at 7:57 PM, Ann said:

In high school, I told a guy who was gay he was going to hell. I hate myself for that one. He laughed at me, so I hope I didn't hurt him, although I must have. Sometimes I worry my gay friends will disown me if they ever find out......

 

I know this is from almost a month ago, but I wanted to share something. My best friend in high school came out to me as a lesbian when I was still veeery much a  christian and I had a full blown panic attack about whether I could still be her friend or not. I told her a couple times over the course of our friendship that I thought she was going to hell and that it made me sad. It hurt her very deeply.

Fast forward about eight years, we now live together and she is still one of my absolute dearest friends. We had to talk through things but she did eventually forgive me. 

We say a lot of things in our past that we learn later on were hurtful. I promise your gay friends have too, and I doubt they will disown you :)

 

More on point with the OP, I was a full blown missionary and student leader. I used to prayer walk everywhere and I really mean everywhere. I think the most cringe worthy thing I did is convert one of my friends at a sleepover 💀

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I tried to convince a non-believer of God's existence by speaking in tongues in front of them. 

 

Also I am great at self-suggestion and have a dissociated mind, and before I knew these things I didn't know that things I do to myself can feel like someone else does them, and it's still just me. I had a lot of physical feelings and other odd experiences during prayer (and really did feel "slain" in the spirit without anyone touching me, and didn't see it was my own mind doing it). The most cringe-worthy and really dangerous one was that I managed to numb away my own toothache with prayer. I firmly believed God could put fillings in my cavities or even grow me new teeth. That one did not end well at all!

 

I once heard a rumour about a girl who could ride her bike with her eyes closed because God guided her. I wanted so badly to try the same to express my trust in God, but I just could not make myself do it! Even my self-suggestions have a limit, and that's, er, very good. Though at the time it was embarrassing. Oh my. 

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Well lets see... how weird:

 

Believed the following sincerely (And those who didn't would burn, burn in hell, burn in eternal damnation!)

 

- Earth was 6000 years old, evolution was a lie to destroy god

- Pyramids were built using atomic energy by Enoch before the flood

- Prayers actually healed people

- Many other weird as fuck beliefs 

 

Told my teacher once when I was about 11 that her science lesson was wrong because the bible says so.

 

And all this is making me feel very embarrassed 

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6 hours ago, yunea said:

I tried to convince a non-believer of God's existence by speaking in tongues in front of them. 

 

 

 

🤣

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1 hour ago, Burnedout said:

There was one of the pastors of the church I attended.  He was caught embezzling money, to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars and it came out that he was sleeping with over a dozen women in the church, and every one of them thought THEY were the ONLY ONE.  NO SHIT!

 

I feel sad for the women!

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2 hours ago, TruthSeeker0 said:

Weird enough that I don't want to disclose all of it here 😛

 

That bad huh 🤣😁😁😁😁

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1 hour ago, Anushka said:

 

That bad huh 🤣😁😁😁😁

Probably the worst was that I told my grade school friend she is going to hell when she asked about my beliefs.. To her credit we remained friends. Yes theres a lot of crazy stuff, it would be a long list if I started listing all the church rules etc here but the one that really embarasses me is the fact that I believed only one small part of a larger religious sect (still tiny by proportion to the worlds pop) is going to heaven and everyone else to hell. I still cringe, and it's not something I want to admit to people. 

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  • 8 months later...

I was a monster. A gay basher, condemned good people to hell, told people such and such deserved to die for some biblical BS, etc. religion rots the brain, and damages a person as much as any horrible drug can. 

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38 minutes ago, Aries256 said:

I was a monster. A gay basher, condemned good people to hell, told people such and such deserved to die for some biblical BS, etc. religion rots the brain, and damages a person as much as any horrible drug can. 

I'm not proud of many of the things I've said/did while a Xian either! 

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3 hours ago, DestinyTurtle said:

I'm not proud of many of the things I've said/did while a Xian either! 

I had a girlfriend in high school who asked me if people who committed suicide went to hell.  I told her definitively that they did.

 

That's how I found out that her grandfather had just hanged himself.

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7 minutes ago, TheRedneckProfessor said:

I had a girlfriend in high school who asked me if people who committed suicide went to hell.  I told her definitively that they did.

 

That's how I found out that her grandfather had just hanged himself.

 

Yikes.

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