Axelle

Another pastor's kid gone wrong: The Freewill that ruined my faith.

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17 minutes ago, Axelle said:

Hi all, 

 

First of all, thank you for your warm welcoming. Specially to Logical Fallacy and Travi for being so nice in Discord. Alright here it goes, I hope it's not too long. Be aware that some of this content may hurt some people's sentitivities.

 

Hi Axelle, welcome to Ex-C.

 

I decided to read this before bed rather than wait. My pleasure  - helping our fellow Ex-C members is what we are about.

 

I am sorry about the hard times you have been through with your family, and with the abuse. I am reminded of Christopher Hitchen's when he said religion poisons humanity at the  very core of our being. It shows how people operating under religion can justify terrible things in the name of god.

 

However now that you are independent of them I have great hope for you. You have obviously done your research and have a firm grip on reality.

 

Once again, welcome. Hope to see many more posts from you.

 

LF

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Hello Axelle, very well written extimony! Unfortunately abuse seems all too common in religious circles and it's absolutely awful that someone could abuse another person and excuse this as "god's will". I also struggled with the issue of free will but it was largely the question "why do we suffer, can it be god's will?" that finally got me questioning, and once I began questioning, I was on my way out of Christianity and very quickly.

It's a long journey. I've also been out for a year and am starting to feel a degree of freedom and improvement both mentally and physically, but I know there is a lot of work to still be done. One can't just throw out the lifelong effects of religious fundamentalism overnight, unfortunately.

 

Welcome to Ex-C!

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2 hours ago, TruthSeeker0 said:

Hello Axelle, very well written extimony! Unfortunately abuse seems all too common in religious circles and it's absolutely awful that someone could abuse another person and excuse this as "god's will". I also struggled with the issue of free will but it was largely the question "why do we suffer, can it be god's will?" that finally got me questioning, and once I began questioning, I was on my way out of Christianity and very quickly.

It's a long journey. I've also been out for a year and am starting to feel a degree of freedom and improvement both mentally and physically, but I know there is a lot of work to still be done. One can't just throw out the lifelong effects of religious fundamentalism overnight, unfortunately.

 

Welcome to Ex-C!

Thank you for reading. For me, this quote Bart Ehrman used in God's Problem ''put to ease'' all those contradictive feelings about suffering:

From the brothers Karamazov.

"Listen: if everyone must suffer, in order to buy eternal harmony with their suffering, pray tell me what have children got to do with it? It’s quite incomprehensible why they should have to suffer, and why they should buy harmony with their suffering. Is there in the whole world a being who would have the right to forgive and could forgive? I don't want harmony. From love for humanity, I don't want it. I would rather be left with the unavenged suffering. I would rather remain with my unavenged suffering and unsatisfied indignation, even if I were wrong. Besides, too high a price is asked for harmony; it's beyond our means to pay so much to enter on it. And so I hasten to give back my entrance ticket, and if I am an honest man I am bound to give it back as soon as possible. And that I am doing. It's not God that I don't accept, Alyosha, only I most respectfully return him the ticket." 

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Welcome to Ex-C, @Axelle

 

That was a very heavy extimony concerning what you went through. I am sorry you had to endure such unspeakable crap - but you did! Kudos to you!

 

Also an Ehrman fan - I am currently devouring The Triumph of Christianity. I believe this is his latest. 

 

Axelle said...

" I was raised into ministry- I started my pastoral leadership training at 8 years old"

 

Getting to children when they are so young and impressionable is such a diabolical yet effective tactic. Driving with Mrs. MOHO and her shadow lat Friday they were discussing how cults like to get to children. Even adults try to subject the little ones to political indoctrination. I mentioned that many religions make wide use of this same tactic. The car became suddenly silent. I hope they were pondering how this type of indoctrination is the whole reason for The Good News Club. 

 

    - MOHO (Mind Of His Own) 

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Hi!! Other former mission kid here. Very different paths, but I'm glad that you wound up at a place where you feel more safe and comfortable. 

Freewill and predestination were also my downfall when it came to faith. I think many people start really digging once they can't reconcile it.

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Thanks for your story and I hope you are able to benefit from this site as I have... albeit gradually and somewhat immaturely.

 

I was most struck by the passive aggressiveness and narcissistic sarcasm from Christians or believers in your story. It seems to me in my experiences that Christians are always laden with these manipulative behaviors and sense of divine self worth. It really is a scary thing, now that I am seeing it from outside the faith.

 

Such behaviors come to mind: people being afraid of lightning and storms as they perceived it might be the striking of god himself. Also, a friend from church feeling guilty for buying a new car. Classic paranoia symptoms of a person gone insane from falsehoods of Christian religions.

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Hello from another missionary kid here! Glad to hear you escaped the programming. Moving out really helped in my experience, as well.

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Hi Axelle,

I'm sorry for what you had to suffer at the hands of religion and ignorance.

I'm glad you found the works of Bart Erhman , Sam Harris and Richard Dawkins.

What woke me up from my delusion, besides my thinking brain, was the movie

The Truman Show. I realized the whole born-again, bible-believing lifestyle was

a crock of shit.

I'm a better, more authentic person now than when I was a Christian.

❤️

Jennifer

 

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On 6/11/2018 at 4:24 AM, JenniferG said:

Hi Axelle,

I'm sorry for what you had to suffer at the hands of religion and ignorance.

I'm glad you found the works of Bart Erhman , Sam Harris and Richard Dawkins.

What woke me up from my delusion, besides my thinking brain, was the movie

The Truman Show. I realized the whole born-again, bible-believing lifestyle was

a crock of shit.

I'm a better, more authentic person now than when I was a Christian.

❤️

Jennifer

 

Literally ordered it on amazon a few days ago! Always wanted to watch it! :)

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On 6/16/2018 at 2:05 PM, Axelle said:

Literally ordered it on amazon a few days ago! Always wanted to watch it! :)

 

I'd like to know your thoughts about the movie. It really impacted me profoundly.

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52 minutes ago, donthodl said:

Hey Axelle, thanks for sharing your story.

 

 

Hi donthodl

 

Thanks for your thoughts, but your post comes across as a Christian witnessing. Per the guidelines below this testimony forum is for EX-Christians or those de-converting to share their stories to other ex-Christians without Christians testifying to them. Most of us have had enough of that already and it didn't help.

 

 

If you'd like to testify about the many "healing's" you've seen please do so in the Lions Den where we are happy to hear and question your story and beliefs. This board however is a place for us to share our stories without Christian influence for once in our lives.

 

Thank you for your understanding.

 

And if I have my understanding wrong one of our mods can smack me on the upside.

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2 hours ago, donthodl said:

Hi I do apologize I wasn't trying to witness but only share my story. I know my story may not be what you want to hear, but for example say I had a website that promoted the opposite to what this site is about. If I ensured that no one who disagreed with my views made comments that wouldn't really be keeping an open mind. All as I'm saying is if we are afraid or unwilling to listen to opinions different to our own there is a reason. I had first found out about this maybe 10 or 12 years ago and just thought would come back and have a look. I mean no offense, so will leave it at that. Sorry.

 

This just goes to show you didn't even attempt to understand my post, nor did you read the guidelines... or at least did not comprehend the meaning behind them.

 

As previously stated THIS section of this support forum for EX-CHRISTIANS (I.e. we once were Christians) and is off limits to Christians sharing stories, or attempting proselytizing of any sort. We have had plenty of exposure to Christian views thank you.

 

We have plenty of sections to hear differing views. Like I said go down into the Lions Den if you dare. We will meet you in there... if you are not afraid of the lions of course :) Here it is: https://www.ex-christian.net/forum/6-the-lions-den/ 

 

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@LogicalFallacy    Thanks for setting donthodl straight.  I deleted his  HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE comments this morning.  Nice to have someone in another timezone keeping watch while most of us mods are sleeping!    :)

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