Healing (??) and Therapy Revelations

[knightcore]

I started therapy today. I think it was the first time I really ever felt like my therapist clicked with me and was really listening. But I was talking to her about my family and how my mom has treated me since I came out, and I mentioned that I felt like it was my fault that my mom became more religious. She was confused and asked me why I felt that way. I explained that ever since I left the church and then later when I came out two years later I felt that it was because of me stepping out and her feeling like she didn't raise me well enough.

I've never really had someone tell me it wasn't my fault before. Like they have, but it's always been "oh no it's not you". She broke down a lot of things for me and pointed out that even if it was because of my actions that I'm only responsible for how I respond to things, not how my mom responds to me. I still don't think I can fully process that yet but it was a pretty big realization for me even though that seems very obvious. 

We're going to work on unlearning some behaviors (me constantly apologizing for things i have no control over, feeling guilt for things that are out of my control) and depersonalizing some things so I don't take on as much emotional baggage. 

I thought I'd share this here because a lot of you have been through this whole coming out process with my parents that I've recorded here, but also because I know some people might also share those burdens from their christian days. I'll probably update more as my sessions continue, but she's very optimistic about my potential progress and so am I honestly. I think it will be very good.

[florduh]

Excellent report!

[MOHO]

Glad to hear you are working things out KC!