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Goodbye Jesus

How do I deal with their greed?


Anushka

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I am doing a HR course in university. Prior to starting this course, I wanted to be a HR manager. But, as I read about HR and learnt more about HR, I understood that being a manager in HR is very stressful and it is something I would never want to do.

To be honest, one of the main reasons that I wanted to be a HR manager was their salaries.

Now, even that is not a motivation.

 

I prefer working as a HR admin/HR assistant. Salary is okay, but unlikely to be a stressful job.

 

The problem? My parents. My mum and dad has this greed for fame and power. They would want me to be a HR Manager and will nag me to be one. Of course, I can always tell them it could take 10 years to be a HR Manager ( which is mostly true ).

 

 

They want to boast to people they know their daughter is a manager.

 

This thought is already panicking me.

 

When they do nag me and complain to me to aim for promotion, what should I do? 

Saying the truth as in 'I don't want to be a HR Manager' won't help.

 

My mum and dad are dogs, esp. my mum- the way they speak makes you lose respect for them and also they know how to emotionally spit on you and make you feel like garbage and so sad inside.

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40 minutes ago, Burnedout said:

Anushka,

 

I wouldn't be too hard on them.  They may not understand you and, like any parents who love their daughter, they want the best for her, I know, I have a daughter myself.  You may have to just do your best to tune them out and do your thing. Although, I cannot really see salary as an HR manager being that high.  The highest incomes tend to come from Sales, high level engineering, owning a business that is successful, a highly skilled trade or high level professional, doctor or lawyer maybe.  :scratch:

 

Do what you want to do, though do make sure you can make a living and at least make sure you can support yourself and pay your bills, as that is the way you can get out from under their roof and rules.  You may want to consider moving to another city for work, you know, relocate. That will put some distance between you and them.  

Not having met you or they, I can only imagine it as if you were my daughter.  

 

Good luck.

 

Thank you :)

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2 hours ago, Anushka said:

I am doing a HR course in university. Prior to starting this course, I wanted to be a HR manager. But, as I read about HR and learnt more about HR, I understood that being a manager in HR is very stressful and it is something I would never want to do.

To be honest, one of the main reasons that I wanted to be a HR manager was their salaries.

Now, even that is not a motivation.

 

I prefer working as a HR admin/HR assistant. Salary is okay, but unlikely to be a stressful job.

 

The problem? My parents. My mum and dad has this greed for fame and power. They would want me to be a HR Manager and will nag me to be one. Of course, I can always tell them it could take 10 years to be a HR Manager ( which is mostly true ).

 

 

They want to boast to people they know their daughter is a manager.

 

This thought is already panicking me.

 

When they do nag me and complain to me to aim for promotion, what should I do? 

Saying the truth as in 'I don't want to be a HR Manager' won't help.

 

My mum and dad are dogs, esp. my mum- the way they speak makes you lose respect for them and also they know how to emotionally spit on you and make you feel like garbage and so sad inside.

Can I be honest here? Why does their daughter need to be a manager? So that they can boast about her. Its not about what's good for you, it's about what people think of them. And honestly, if my parents were like that and didn't care more for what was good for me than how it made them look, I would set very high boundaries with them and make sure I kept to them. You do what's best for you, not your parents. Tell them that. Become a broken record on that score if you have to. "My life is about what's best for me, not what people think of you" is about the clearest statement you can make. I'm sorry but you mention greed for fame and power and emotional abuse, so it sounds like a classic case of narcissism to me. And there are books on that subject that would help you cope with them. 

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I would suggest double checking your concerns about being a manager. Stress levels are not guaranteed in any role as long as you can get a good work/life balance. The role will differ depending on the size of the company and the culture they have internally so I'd hate for you to miss out based on limited opinions or rumours.

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A lot of jobs are very stressful. Personally I'd rather make good money while being stressed out than get crap pay for being stressed out. There is no guarantee your HR career would be stressful. It would be better to pick some other career with good pay instead of aim to have a low pay, stress free life because low income comes with its own stresses. The HR people at my workplace don't have a particularly stressful job.


Did you initially want to be an HR manager or did they push you to that career? Your parents would probably be satisfied with any professional career you pick. But if you want to just have a job and not a career because it seems less stressful they should get over it. Don't just pick some career to give your parents bragging rights.

 

Did you have an idea of what you want to do instead of HR?

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15 hours ago, Anushka said:

But, as I read about HR and learnt more about HR, I understood that being a manager in HR is very stressful and it is something I would never want to do.

 

@Anushka,

 

Are you changing your career path because you found out you don't like HR work or because of the stress?

  1. 99.999 % of jobs entail some degree of stress. That's why they pay you to dot the job. If there was no stress they would not have to pay you as folks would to the job just for the funsies that it brings.
  2. If Ma and Pa are paying for your education you might consider their input. You can always change/modify your career path later on.

 

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1 hour ago, MOHO said:

 

@Anushka,

 

Are you changing your career path because you found out you don't like HR work or because of the stress?

  1. 99.999 % of jobs entail some degree of stress. That's why they pay you to dot the job. If there was no stress they would not have to pay you as folks would to the job just for the funsies that it brings.
  2. If Ma and Pa are paying for your education you might consider their input. You can always change/modify your career path later on.

 

 

They are not paying for my education.

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19 minutes ago, Anushka said:

 

They are not paying for my education.

Well then. 

Is you middle finger limp or what? :HaHa:

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23 hours ago, Anushka said:

I am doing a HR course in university. Prior to starting this course, I wanted to be a HR manager. But, as I read about HR and learnt more about HR, I understood that being a manager in HR is very stressful and it is something I would never want to do.

To be honest, one of the main reasons that I wanted to be a HR manager was their salaries.

Now, even that is not a motivation.

 

I prefer working as a HR admin/HR assistant. Salary is okay, but unlikely to be a stressful job.

 

The problem? My parents. My mum and dad has this greed for fame and power. They would want me to be a HR Manager and will nag me to be one. Of course, I can always tell them it could take 10 years to be a HR Manager ( which is mostly true ).

 

 

They want to boast to people they know their daughter is a manager.

 

This thought is already panicking me.

 

When they do nag me and complain to me to aim for promotion, what should I do? 

Saying the truth as in 'I don't want to be a HR Manager' won't help.

 

My mum and dad are dogs, esp. my mum- the way they speak makes you lose respect for them and also they know how to emotionally spit on you and make you feel like garbage and so sad inside.

I had parents like that, they think of you as their property. But technically they never created you (They didn't even create themselves) Mother nature made you, not them.

 

So the earth is your real parent, he he he, that doesn't sound crazy does it?

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In their own eyes your parents may think they are doing the right thing.  But it sounds to me like they are being selfishly controlling.  And the controlling likely will not end with your education.  It is your life.  Do with it what you wish.  

 

My wife and I have children and grandchildren, and have been happy with any honorable education/occupation they chose. And helped them pay for it when needed.  I am reading a story about the middle ages in England, and that kind of demand on a child sounds like something from that period.  Have faith in yourself, and choose your own path.

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28 minutes ago, Weezer said:

In their own eyes your parents may think they are doing the right thing.  But it sounds to me like they are being selfishly controlling.  And the controlling likely will not end with your education.  It is your life.  Do with it what you wish.  

 

My wife and I have children and grandchildren, and have been happy with any honorable education/occupation they chose.  I am reading a story about the middle ages in England, and that kind of demand on a child sounds like something from that period.  Have faith in yourself, and choose your own path.

 

Read Weezer's last line again: "Have faith in yourself, and choose your own path."

 

As a college professor I saw many, many young folks struggle with these issues. It's tough when you think your friends are all squared away and your folks are pressuring you. Time and distance will help with the parent problem. As soon as you can move out, do so. 

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14 hours ago, theanticrash said:

I had parents like that, they think of you as their property. But technically they never created you (They didn't even create themselves) Mother nature made you, not them.

 

So the earth is your real parent, he he he, that doesn't sound crazy does it?

 

Nope.... Things like these actually make me feel better when I read them as my parents have been putting guilt in me ever since I was a kid.

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