justaskingquestions

For Ex-Christian Women

Recommended Posts

What has been the most liberating part of leaving Christianity? Most difficult? 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


PLEASE EXCUSE THE ANNOYING COMMERCIAL BREAKS IN THE CONVERSATION:

As with everything these days, the cost of keeping the Ex-C forum up and running has been rising. Inflation? In part, but the primary reason is this: As participation in the forums grows, costs increase. The Ex-C forums will remain free of charge to everyone, but if you believe this little corner of the Internet provides value to you or others, and you feel inclined to help keep us online, please consider making a one-time donation or becoming a regular contributor. Contribution options appear under the "Upgrade" link above, and can be accessed by clicking here.

Oh, and as an incentive (no, you won't be given any bogus promises of eternal bliss), if you do become a regular contributor by signing up for any monthly or yearly patron package, this annoying ADVO will disappear.

And now, back to the regularly scheduled conversation...



13 minutes ago, justaskingquestions said:

What has been the most liberating part of leaving Christianity? Most difficult? 

For me, it was the constant worrying if I was pleasing 'god'. It so wonderful to be free of that!

 

So glad you are here with us!! Hope you find all the liberation that you need here at Ex-c to lead a peaceful life!

 

(hug)

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Most liberating: getting rid of the frustration of never having God answer back. There was always a feeling of banging my head against a wall, and that was gone.

Most difficult: getting rid of the childhood indoctrination and giving up the idea of an afterlife.

 

Welcome to the site!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Most Liberating: Not having to worry about being torchered for eternity for something far beyond my control and not having any means, whatsoever, of knowing for sure if I made the cut.

 

Toughest part: Coming to the realization that this life is all there is. 

 

Going forward: Make this life the most rewarding that I can within reason.

Question/Decision: Can I do the above while being married to a very firm, devout fundamental Xtian?

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So @MOHO is this your way of telling us you now identify as a woman?

  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, ThereAndBackAgain said:

So @MOHO is this your way of telling us you now identify as a woman?

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS!

 

I guess with all of the divisive and gender-based politics of late I should pay more attention to titles and instructions. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, ThereAndBackAgain said:

So @MOHO is this your way of telling us you now identify as a woman?

 

I can decide what I want to be anytime I choose and YOU are not to call me out on it. :yelrotflmao::yelrotflmao::yelrotflmao:

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Most liberating: The constant fear and confusion is gone.

 

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

@MOHO can be an honourary woman here. 

Most liberating: not wondering when God was going to stop with giving me all those "trials" that were testing my faith. Not wondering what his purpose was. Being free from all the guilt over my "sins". No longer constantly watching what I was doing or saying. No more fear about non believers asking me to justify my beliefs. No longer feeling strange because I didn't fit the typical fundie mold (a mom with 10 kids). Being able to think and reason however much I want, hands down, that's the winner. 

Most difficult: dealing with family and friends in the aftermath

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, MOHO said:

 

I can decide what I want to be anytime I choose and YOU are not to call me out on it. :yelrotflmao::yelrotflmao::yelrotflmao:

 

YOU didn't tell them you could do this did you?  :P

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, TruthSeeker0 said:

@MOHO can be an honourary woman here. 

 

Would it be a social faux paux if I passed on this honour?  :unsure:

 

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
46 minutes ago, TruthSeeker0 said:
30 minutes ago, MOHO said:

 

Would it be a social faux paux if I passed on this honour?  :unsure:

 

Not at all 😜

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My answer applies to both your questions. As a woman, there is nothing more freeing than realizing that "submission" was not some bullshit command from god, it's man made. So the most liberating part of my deconversion is feeling free to make my own gd decisions, not rely on my dad or husband for some kind of final say. The most frustrating aspect of this is that my father/family is not on board with this, so it can make for some fairly frustrating encounters.  My husband is not the "submit!" kind of man, but I have to battle with my father on my right to think for myself. My dad still thinks that if he had not "given authority to my husband," and was still "in charge," than I wouldn't have "fallen away."

 

:ugh:

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm glad to not have to spend time worrying over nonsense anymore. I always had this nagging feeling I needed to be worrying about what god wants me to do. I spent much time contemplating how close my understandings of god and his will were accurate. I always felt like a lot of the laws were not really from god but rather added in by priests to give them more control over their followers. And the anti-female parts were in there because the bible was written by men. That didn't stop the nagging feelings like I'm doing something wrong by not following the bible accurately.

 

The most difficult thing was accepting that everyone who has died is most likely gone for real. It felt like losing deceased loved ones all over again. The other difficult part was accepting that all the time and resources that were wasted studying and worshiping a false deity were truly in vain. Switching one's timeline from infinite to very finite really changes the perception of how much wasted time really matters.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We all began life as female. Some just got the male upgrade.

  • Haha 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please forgive my humor in the context of a jab at any current anti female sentiments floating about. 😜

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, speaking as a former worship team member..... and I would like to note that was not allowed to be a worship team LEADER....... I'm pretty happy that I don't have to play guitar under the leadership of someone with far less talent than I have. Of course, I'm not playing guitar right now.... lots to work out there... but I digress.

 

I no longer have to worry that as a woman, I'm not qualified to teach a man.

 

I no longer have to hide the fact that I'm divorced from a short-lived, abusive marriage 18 years ago, that evidently, disqualifies me for even participating on said worship team.

 

I no longer have to have to couch every idea I come up with as "probably not a good idea but...." so I'm being properly submissive to my male church leaders.

 

I no longer have only knitting, sewing, and scrapbooking events to choose from in my spare time, because evidently, that's the deepest Christian women go in ministry ideas.

 

That's just the first things that came to me in the moments I took to write this. I'm sure there's more.

 

 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, florduh said:

We all began life as female. Some just got the male upgrade.

 

Upgrade?  I thought that was a jerry-rigged after market ad-on because god forgot what he was doing on the first go-round.   

:funny: :P :david::P:funny:

  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/27/2018 at 11:33 AM, justaskingquestions said:

What has been the most liberating part of leaving Christianity? Most difficult? 

The most liberating? Not having to pray - at night before I go to sleep (what a chore that was!)

and saying grace before mealtimes!

 And not having to read the bloody bible and pretending it made sense to me, or feeling guilty when it didn't!

To be connected to myself rather than having surrendered my heart, my soul, my MIND to Christ.

To never be submissive to anyone ever again!

To feel free to put myself first

 

The most difficult? Finding real friendship and social connection with like-minded people.

Mind you, I can't say I really had that with Christian friends. But at least there was the Sunday social connection.

Hopefully, with time, that will happen when I fulfill my own destiny

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Most liberating - Not having to consciously turn my brain off to accept the ridiculous ideas my faith insisted I believe.

 

Most difficult - Hiding it from friends/family.  Some know now, some don't.  Still difficult.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, Daffodil said:

Most difficult - Hiding it from friends/family.  Some know now, some don't.  Still difficult.

For me too

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On June 27, 2018 at 6:15 PM, MOHO said:

 

Would it be a social faux paux if I passed on this honour?  :unsure:

 

 

As long as you don't switch from boxers to a thong I'm cool with it.  ;)

  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Most liberating: No longer feeling shame around sexual pleasure

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now