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RachelSkates

Just Forgive!

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I was recently beat up by a family member. I sustained a concussion. While on the floor, not one family member came to my aid. After it happened, they went right against the Dr and said I did not have a concussion. No one even told the other person it was wrong to hit me. It had to go to court because I was hurt. I pressed charges and WOW, I WAS YELLED AT! "Who do you think you are?! Are you perfect! (________) is trying to get their life together and now YOU are messing that up!!" Not one person went with me to the hospital . 

 

Now it's all chaos. My parents are coming around a bit as long as I stay on the page and do NOT talk about it. But they also scoff a lot and say it's really not a concussion and when I show them the Dr report, no matter how many times, it's like a veil gets put over their eyes and they get all confused. 

 

My family has always been the ones to take the side of perps, like Chuck Colson. I think that is good and all, but what about the victims? It exotic to go into prison and bring around a hardened soul, but to them a simple, fragile victim is boring. 

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Get away now. There's no fixing it nor is there any point in trying. I'm sorry for your situation and I hope you find the courage to change it immediately. Best of luck to you.

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Rachel, you need to Skate on out of that environment ASAP. I'm sorry to hear what you've gone through. Nobody deserves that, nor should anyone have to endure it. Best of luck to you.

 

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I agree with all of the above, the sooner you get out of that environment the better. It doesn't sound safe for you at all and it isn't going to change as the people involved around you don't seem to have any idea how wrong it is.

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I am trying to leave. I am a hostage to my poverty and disability. There is no where to go and no funds to do so. I am disabled and shelters are very bad places for certain disabilities. There is no way out. Praise God for his love, of course. And making me disabled. As my Dad said (who is NOT disabled) "YOu have no right to question how God made you!" What I took from them is irredeemable, like those crazy families on the news. 

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3 hours ago, RachelSkates said:

As my Dad said (who is NOT disabled) "YOu have no right to question how God made you!"

 

Your dad is soooo immoral to support some religious dislussion as greater than the mental and physical health of his own daughter.  

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3 hours ago, RachelSkates said:

There is no where to go and no funds to do so.

 

Rachel:

There are places to go and ways to get help. Please work on it. Google can be your friend on this.

We don't know where you are but there are battered women's shelters out there that can help you.

Here is the phone number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1−800−799−7233

The Office on Women's Health, US Dept. of Health and Human Services: 1-800-994-9662

Here's the Safe Horizon 24-hour help line: 800-621–4673

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I doubt anyone here has any idea what it's like to be in a shelter with your disability. Especially without knowing the nature of the disability.

 

Here, you are the only one with the information necessary to make a rational decision.

 

I've seen footage of abuse within elderly homes. The workers might hate their thankless, low-paying jobs and take it out on the patients. Even if they don't stoop that low they might simply take it as easy as possible at the patient's expense. It's a reality and a possibility many of us have to consider later in life. Sooner if you're disabled, I guess.

 

It's possible you're in a situation with overwhelmingly highest possibility for bad outcomes. Still, it might be rational to gamble if a small chance of good outcome exists. I can also imagine that staying at home where the oppression is familiar and manageable can be the safe option. Maybe staying there is the rational choice in the end? Enduring whatever slights and neglect you must, but at least keep living and grabbing morsels of delight here and there.

 

All I can say is I don't envy your circumstances.

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That is absolutely awful. I don't pretend to understand the depth and difficulty of your circumstance, but it might help to keep in mind that part of the strategy of abusers is to systematically keep you feeling helpless so that in the end you won't do anything about it. We can't tell you what to do about this very difficult situation you're in, but I hope you will at least think about some of the possibilities people are listing above! In any case, I hope you find some comfort in hearing our validation that you are completely right : it is abuse and they are trying to gaslight you to believe otherwise.

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Do you live in the US? You can contact Disability Rights and/or a domestic violence hotline. You can also contact a department of human services directly and they can help you figure out your needs. 

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And no matter what happens, we're here to listen and support you. Cyber-hug:  (   )

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If you are in an abusive relationship with your family, I would leave and not come back for quite some time, if at all. Abusive people will get bolder as time goes by and the abuse will be worse.

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Not much to add Rachel, except to say that I'm very sorry you're going through this. If you can see a way out, take it. There is certainly no need to forgive in this case.

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You shouldn't have to live with this even with disability. If they side with the perpetrator it will only get worse.

 

Why do they side with the other person and not even tell them it's wrong? Does the person that hit you have some mental illness?

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@RachelSkates, so sorry this happened to you. Like everyone else said, you need to get out ASAP. I realize it's problematic given that you are financially tethered to your parents, and I am under no conceit as to be knowledgeable on how you can effect your departure. But you should determine how you might leave, and then do so.

 

Hope to hear from you often.

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