LostinParis

Just another Sunday

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Another Sunday morning listening to my husband throw a tantrum because all three of our kids refuse to go to church with him. I am blamed and made to feel guilty.

 

Then as usual I jump onto this website and read your stories and I feel peaceful again.

 

No point to this story really, just a thank-you to you all.

 

Void bless.

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Good job. You raised smart kids!

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Glad your kids are thinking for themselves.

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1 hour ago, LostinParis said:

I am blamed and made to feel guilty

 

The wrong party is feeling the guilt.  

 

Dont let anyone, including your SO ever lead you to guilty feelings when you have done the right thing. 

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27 minutes ago, ConsiderTheSource said:

 

 

The wrong party is feeling the guilt.  

 

Dont let anyone, including your SO ever lead you to guilty feelings when you have done the right thing. 

CTS has a good point. Guilt is something you feel within yourself. It only happens when you allow it to happen. You have done nothing wrong. Do not let someone else manipulate you into feeling guilt.

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47 minutes ago, older said:

CTS has a good point. Guilt is something you feel within yourself. It only happens when you allow it to happen. You have done nothing wrong. Do not let someone else manipulate you into feeling guilt.

 

I was raised Catholic so I feel guilty about everything regardless. 

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1 minute ago, LostinParis said:

I was raised Catholic so I feel guilty about everything anyway.

That's one of the major issues with Christianity: that humans are fundamentally bad, and cannot do the right thing on their own. The whole idea of confession is bogus. I remember asking myself why I should ask for forgiveness if I hadn't done anything wrong. Mistakes, yes. But that's just being human. (But all those starving children.... it is your fault, isn't it?)

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4 hours ago, LostinParis said:

I am blamed and made to feel guilty.

Accept the guilt with pleasure. Take the credit. You won and he lost. Or at least you chose the winning side. He fought from a lame position so it's no big wonder he lost. Still, it's on him to accept the loss.

 

Haha, his side even had god supposedly. How can he blame you?

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Nobody said being unequally yoked would be easy. Obviously, there are no easy solutions.

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If you are a bit ornery....LOL.....  You could go to church, ask all kinds of ticklish questions with your kids in full eye and ear shot, just to watch the people there squirm.  :)  

 

Then your husband will NEVER want you to go to church with him again and if you teach the kids to do the same, he will not want them to go to church with him either.  :HaHa:

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You, your kids, your husband - each of you is responsible for your own choices about religion and/or spirituality. IMO, he is projecting his own guilt for “failing” to raise a Christian family, (and possibly shame for showing up alone.)

I, for one, am thankful that you (and everyone else) can converge here for understanding and acceptance. 

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5 hours ago, TrailBlazer said:

You, your kids, your husband - each of you is responsible for your own choices about religion and/or spirituality. IMO, he is projecting his own guilt for “failing” to raise a Christian family, (and possibly shame for showing up alone.)

I, for one, am thankful that you (and everyone else) can converge here for understanding and acceptance. 

 

Yes! He cares too much what other Christians think of him.

My anger towards him has disappeared and I now just feel sad for him, he is a good man and is suffering the wounds from his fundy Christian upbringing.

 

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On 8/5/2018 at 1:51 PM, older said:

That's one of the major issues with Christianity: that humans are fundamentally bad, and cannot do the right thing on their own. The whole idea of confession is bogus. I remember asking myself why I should ask for forgiveness if I hadn't done anything wrong. Mistakes, yes. But that's just being human. (But all those starving children.... it is your fault, isn't it?)

 

It has taken me years to realize that pleasure is not sinful. And thought and actions that harm nobody are not sins.

I was not born sinful and worthless. I am not helpless without god. I don’t need to rely on an external being to feel complete. I had the power all along.

 

 

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2 hours ago, LostinParis said:

 

Yes! He cares too much what other Christians think of him.

My anger towards him has disappeared and I now just feel sad for him, he is a good man and is suffering the wounds from his fundy Christian upbringing.

 

:( 

it’s a process. Waiting patiently for others to be ready to face their particular “demons” can be tough; responding to them with love and compassion can get tiring, but it is worth it when they tell you that they are ready to stop blaming and to start healing 

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On 8/4/2018 at 10:44 PM, LostinParis said:

 

I was raised Catholic so I feel guilty about everything regardless. 

 

I wasn't raised Catholic, but the guilt is strong in me. I always feel like I'm in trouble for something, even though it's seldom the case!

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@LostinParis I hope this phase of the process passes quickly. As of this summer I have been free of Christianity for nine years. It feels like an eternity since I last went to church, and I love not having to wake up early on Sundays anymore. When I deconverted I lived with Christians, and the ability to not go to church did not come immediately. I am confident that you too will slowly but surely recover your time on Sunday to do with as you see fit. I hope it is sooner rather than later.

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On 8/5/2018 at 5:44 AM, LostinParis said:

 

I was raised Catholic so I feel guilty about everything regardless. 

 

I was raised in a Lutheran/Pietist setting -- oh the guilt.... still tryin' to recover from it.

 

Bhim -- hang in there! You're all good. Maybe tell your kids once in a while they don't need to feel any guilt. I guess they'll be happy to hear you tell them.

(I got confused, meant to say LostinParis hang in there... Let's just all hang in there...)

 

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