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How can I use my holidays to relax and grow as a person, and let go of unhelpful memories and traits rooted in christianity?


Heimir
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I will spend 2.5 weeks in Mozambique to relax. I want to have a meaningful time there, just for fun, but I also want to work on my inner person, as I notice that there is a lot of turbulence inside of me, for several reasons, one big one being my christian past that is haunting me and that I'd like to let go and heal from (as I wrote in another topic). I'm already doing that right now, and I am making progress almost every day, but I think this time is particulary good time to process some of that.

 

Not only that, I find that I have been fighting to make something of my life since I left my faith, so I am also interested in exploring other aspects of myself and doing some creative stuff.

Ironically, I will stay at the guest house of two friends who are living there for 2 years, working for a missionary organization. They call themselves christians, but they have seen my entire process, from being christian, to doubting more and more, to leaving and starting recovering, and they have always supported me and never argued with me about anything, so they are very open minded and just good people.

 

So, with all of these goals in mind, I came up with this list of activities:
 

- Journaling

- Self-authoring *1

- Do homework for my psychologist (no idea what that will be)

- Meditate

- Take walks in town and in nature

- Do some sightseeing/safari (preferably not one by car, but walking or cycling)

- Go mountain climbing

- Exercise (once or twice per day)

- Take pictures with my camera (in nature)

- Relax with my friends

- Sleep a lot

- Cook

- Drawing things

- Make music (if I can find an instrument)

- Learn portuguese and some words in the local language (both just for fun)

- Read a lot (leaving the fold is one of these, but I may read 5-10 books)

- Not do anything productive

- Make as little plans as possible (this list is an idea list, not a to-do list)

- If possible: don't use my laptop or phone. Don't check email or use the internet in any way.


What do you think? How can I make this retreat as helpful and relaxing as possible? I don't have to return fully healed of my christian past (that's unrealistic), but I feel like I can have a pretty transformative time. Of course I can't force that, but I am looking for ways to facilitate this. Having written this, I should ask my therapist, she definitely has something to say (she already joked that she could give me loads of homework to do... haha, it's interesting how after one session she already seems to understand that I am quite a fanatic type - but well my #1goal is to take it easy).

Thanks in advance!
 

*1 - write about your past/future/present and "sort yourself out" in that way, by Jordan Peterson and colleagues. To be clear, I don't agree with him on everything (I agree with no one on everything), but I find a lot of his works helpful and inspiring

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So, I think I already have a nice list of things that I can do there. I look forward to experiment a little bit with who I want to be, being so far away from home. I think that we often get stuck in certain roles or modes of being in life, not just due to our personality but also because of how we've been brought up. I do like some of what I've become, but I don't like many things as well, and I blame the Christian influences for that, combined with some other influences and some poor choices on my part. Yes, I don't like to blame others for everything, I think it's good to take responsibility. I even see it as my responsibility to become the best version of myself and I will have to do all the work.

I have already started on this journey and it's very good. I have told my mother and two siblings that I am going to a therapist and that healing from my past and becoming a stronger person are my objectives. I have told all of them that I will not tell them a lot, that it's private. Usually I am an extremely open person, but I don't want other meddling in my process, not even if they want the best for me, because they still perceive things through their lense. So, I have already taken a bit of distance from them.

 

During my trip I will go even farther and disappear from the world completely. I just let my family know that I won't be reachable by phone or email for 2.5 week, only in case of emergencies (on a local number). I told them that I will tell them the stories and show them pictures if they are interested.

So, I've created a lot of freedom to change who I am and just to live my own life. I am interested where this path will lead.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Take up a hobby youve been wanting to do. For me it was archery 😁🏹 . Explore mozambique, and forget xtianity or any mythology. Do what you want (within law) unwind, take in nature’s beauty. 

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20 hours ago, Aries256 said:

take in nature’s beauty. 

 

When you climb those mountains, remember the words of John Muir, the American naturalist responsible for many of our national parks: 

 

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.”

 

And when you take those walks and climb those mountains, include some sunrises. Get out there when it is thoroughly dark and stay until the sun is well up. Go alone. Look at the stars and watch as the sky starts to lighten, and the sun finally breaks over the horizon. A sunrise is the beginning of a new day, and it can also signal the beginning of a new life.

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