Faith outside of religion

[Samuel]

I have been struggling a bit to figure out different things in my life recently, job, moving, etc... And one of the things that I have had inner conflict about, which maybe just a lack of non-religious coping mechanism or resilience, is that I feel emotionally off balance if I look too closely at certain beliefs I have about faith. I think that I am holding onto certain beliefs in the unknown because I have so much unknown in my life right now. I always had a strong belief in what was possible with god while I was religious and I think that was largely because I had so many struggles, being a closeted gay man in a superstict church where there were no gay people, and gay people were routinely attacked. 

 

I guess I am curious how others have dealt with fears over the unknown in their lives. I look at the faith I had as not alway beneficials. I think it took longer for me to get the help I needed, and it prolonged things, and ways of thinking that were really not beneficial. I would say having faith is one of the things that cause me to take so long in coming out, and has prolonged the time it has taken to really find myself (still doing that). And yet, it's there when other things fail. Like rationality. I can't rationally tell where my next job is, and I feel I would be dishonest to say that and irrational faith has allowed anxiety to pass from my mind. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[MOHO]

Hey, @Samuel,

 

I'm not absolutely clear on your meaning here but I think you are over thinking things. I did this in the year after my deconversion and it caused undue stress in my life. 

 

Relax.

Smell the flowers. 

Watch a comedy.

 

I know this can be challenging when you are between gigs but you have my permission to enjoy an adult beverage it that helps. 

[graceofgrace]

Hi @Samuel!

 

I would say that I am in a similar place in my life as you are. I grew up in a very conservative Christian family, and have in the past year or so decided to leave the church. Also somewhere in the same-ish time frame, I’ve discovered that I’m bisexual, and I’m also moving and starting a new job soon too! So some things I’ve found helpful for me during this transition has been: 

 

surrounding myself with people who love me and accept me for who I am

 

journaling, just so I can get my feelings out and sorted

 

finding the things in my life that make me feel human and in touch with my body and nature, like going for hikes and baking

 

Binge watching Queer Eye on Netflix, because they just fucking get it, and they aren’t afraid to talk about the shit that they’ve gone through as gay men in this fucked up beautiful world 

 

hanging out on this website and occasionally submitting my own writing has been tremendously helpful because it is so great to see that there are people who have gone through it too, and they are so quick to be open and honest about their own experiences to help others 

 

I still haven’t been able to come out to my family about any of this. It honestly makes me feel sick any time I think about the potential rejection that could come from it, so by all means, I don’t claim to have any of this shit figured out. I just take it one day at a time.

 

However, since you are in a position where you’re moving and starting a new job, welcoming new people into your life, this is a great opportunity to start fresh and be who you really want to be. I wish you the best of luck!!

[florduh]

Realize the fact that it was always you, no gods were ever involved. You can still handle life as you have always been doing. There has been no loss or change. You are still capable, complete and in charge of your life.

[TruthSeeker0]

On 8/30/2018 at 6:05 AM, Samuel said:

I have been struggling a bit to figure out different things in my life recently, job, moving, etc... And one of the things that I have had inner conflict about, which maybe just a lack of non-religious coping mechanism or resilience, is that I feel emotionally off balance if I look too closely at certain beliefs I have about faith. I think that I am holding onto certain beliefs in the unknown because I have so much unknown in my life right now. I always had a strong belief in what was possible with god while I was religious and I think that was largely because I had so many struggles, being a closeted gay man in a superstict church where there were no gay people, and gay people were routinely attacked. 

 

I guess I am curious how others have dealt with fears over the unknown in their lives. I look at the faith I had as not alway beneficials. I think it took longer for me to get the help I needed, and it prolonged things, and ways of thinking that were really not beneficial. I would say having faith is one of the things that cause me to take so long in coming out, and has prolonged the time it has taken to really find myself (still doing that). And yet, it's there when other things fail. Like rationality. I can't rationally tell where my next job is, and I feel I would be dishonest to say that and irrational faith has allowed anxiety to pass from my mind.

 

All of us are doing our best at this thing called life, and that's all we can do. We don't have to have all the answers. One of the great myths about this thing is that people are somehow "enlightened" or "know" where or what they should be doing. Some people have more desire to be somewhere or some place, and they work hard at getting there, while others are not as clear. And that is totally OK. Give yourself lots of time, there's no rush to figure it all out.

I have learned to look at the unknown as opportunity. I can create my own future. That's pretty fantastic. Some god aint got nothing to do with it, so hallelujah, it's in my hands all the way.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

This, too, shall pass.