Noahccount Posted September 10, 2018 Share Posted September 10, 2018 Hey all. I was a Christian for a bit over 50 years. I'm 63 now, so I'm counting only part of my childhood. I finally deconstructed about 5 years ago. Before that I was a bad Christian; I asked questions. A Christian is supposed to be all about faith, prayer and the Holy Spirit, not questions and most especially not questions about Jesus, God and the mighty Paul. I saw early on that there were differences between what Jesus taught and what Paul taught. Why such differences? 'Those aren't differences, you're too young to understand'. OK, so years later I still see those differences and then some more. 'Those aren't differences, you need to pray to understand'. OK, more years and more prayers and I was starting to do the unthinkable, I was studying the 'old testament' to see if there were answers there. I found even more questions. 'Those aren't differences, you need to trust God and not question Him'. Hmm, 'new testament' has people just accepting what 'God' tells them while several times in the 'old testament' people question God and most of them are highly regarded by God. Why, one even wrestled with God and became a great patriarch. My questions, trimmed down somewhat were; Jesus said not one jot or title will pass from the Instructions until all shall pass. Paul said it was all done away with and nailed to a cross. God's prophets said the Law, Teachings, were perfect and unchanging. Paul said they weren't perfect and had to be changed. The apostles and Jesus clearly stated that there could only ever be 12 apostles. One was appointed to replace Judas. Paul became the 13th and no one else in the NT other than Paul claims he is an apostle. Blood is needed for a proper sacrifice according to the NT. According to the OT full physical, mental and spiritual repentance is all that's required, blood is mentioned, but several times its made clear that blood alone won't cut it. Why do we have a three god-head god, like the Romans with their Holy Triad of pagan gods? As I studied for answers I kept getting more questions and every time I asked someone, I got Christian answers ... Christian answers that weren't satisfying. The big one was Deuteronomy 30. Is the word too hard to understand? Is the word too hard to obey? I had to really think about that. I knew that I knew the answers, I just couldn't accept them without dealing with the 'new testament' differences and you can't deal with that without incurring the wrath of God and worse, the wrath of Christians. Wait, what did I say? Who's wrath is worse? In comes YouTube and other internet sources. I started a different venue of study. Lots of hogwash. Lots of 'my way or the highway'. Lots of just loony BS. Finally, after a lot of halfhearted listening I started to hear some stuff from a few Rabbis that were talking about the 'new testament'. Rabbis talking about the 'new testament'? What would a Jew have to do with that? I heard the questions I had been asking for decades. I heard answers that I knew I had come up with, but was too afraid to acknowledge. I have to deny the apostle Paul. That's heresy! I have to deny Jesus. That's worse than death, that's eternal torture. No, first step is to deny the fear that Christianity drills into each of its victims. I finally realized that Christianity is a cult. When I tossed that fear, denying Paul, then denying Jesus was actually a great release. I owe a great deal to Rabbis Michael Skobac, Tovia Singer, Stuart Federow and Chaim Coffman. I also found some great former Christians along the way such as Jono Vandor of SpiritualBabies, Jason (?) of Truth2U and William Hall of Tenak Talk. Along the way, I studied the Babylonian Talmud, after all, Paul supposedly studied at the feet of Gamaliel, a student of the great Hillel. I saw clearly that if Paul had studied at the feet of Gamaliel, he obviously studied only the dirt under Gamaliel's toe nails. There's no way Paul learned any Talmud. I studied other material from the Oral Tradition and found it to be notions, fables and mumblings of idiots mixed with some really good information from serious and thoughtful godly men. Mainstream Judaism, Orthodox and Conservative, rely very heavily on the Oral Traditions. I can't. So, I'm for sure not a Christian and I can't-won't convert to Judaism. That puts me somewhere in the middle. I'm either a Noahide or a Samaritan, but maybe a Karaite. I guess that makes me a Noahccount. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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