Insightful Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 Hi everyone. It's been just over 5 years since I officially told my wife (the first person I told) that I no longer believed in the tenets of evangelicalism... Man, it's been a ride. In the beginning, telling my Christian friends was excruciatingly painful. I would have severe anxiety in the days leading up to the event, tremble as I spoke, and feel messed up for at least a week after. I just emailed a very dear friend "D" who didn't know where I was at. I've laid low for 5 years - in part because he is close to my brother-in-law "H", someone I did not want to find out about my unbelief. Once my brother-in-law "H" found out a few months ago, I felt free to reach out to "D" as I miss his friendship. It was SO easy to tell "D". Almost ZERO anxiety. I honestly don't care what anyone thinks about me on this issue any more. And I LOVE that. It took a long time to have confidence enough in what I believe and why and not to cower internally when others find out. I think it was because at the time MY WHOLE WORLD knew me as this strong believer. It felt like my very survival was threatened (which makes sense when you are conditioned to believe your "group" is everything and outside your "group" is only danger/peril/destruction). Also, I was conditioned to "lean not on my own understanding". I was taught that my reasoning is faulty at best... deceptive most probably. The messed-up-ness of it all really runs deep, doesn't it? Can anyone relate? 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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