Someone123 Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 My ex is a Christian girl. For her God is the most important thing in her life. More important than her family, friends, boyfriend.. Really everything. Our relationship was always great until one day that she asked me why I didn’t like to talk about God. I told her that it was because after thinking, listening and learning a lot of things in my life, there were things in the bible and things that people said that just did not make sense to me. That same day she told me that she would never be able to date someone that is not willing to search God with her. That broke my heart and I cried so badly, for me it just meant “If you don’t believe as I do I will leave you and search for another guy that believes as I do”. It was just so sad.. For me it was impossible to think of me being with another girl than her. And for her it seemed as if I was not as she liked, she would leave me and search for a person that is better than me and believes in God as she does. Since that day things were good and bad. Every time we discussed about God and the bible I has such a different point of view. One day she asked me if I believed in Adam and Eve and I told her that from what I've learned I believed in the evolution. That for me it was not very logical that 2 humans we’re created right away by God. That if we see everything else there’s always an improvement over the years and an adaptation for the environment and to being able to survive. That day she didn’t answer anything on the phone I asked her why? I asked her “you don’t want to talk with me?” and she said no. I then told her to call me when she was ready to talk again and she never did. The next day it was her mom that actually contacted me and talked to me. Every time we had a problems I had to be the one to always contact her, talk to her and try to solve it with her. But a lot of times it was her mom that talked with me to solve our problem. I felt like her mom was kind of “her” because she was the kind of girl that preferred to not talk and go to sleep whenever we had a problem than just take the time to solve the problem before going to sleep as I always tried to do. I loved her so much that the next day after work I had not talked to her but I knew she was probably sad that I went to buy some flowers after work and went to her house and surprised her with them. I told her that I did not want to lose her. She was so happy and surprised. She didn’t expect that. That same day I talked with her parents and explained to them that I did not believe in everything in the bible, that there were a lot of things that did not make sense to me. That I had a very logical point of view in life. His dad told us that love is stronger than anything but we did not take the time to get to know each other appropriately before starting the relationship and that we are building our relationship but we did not have a strong foundation. And if we kept building our relationship, without a strong foundation, everything will fall apart eventually. He also told me that I should be more open to spirituality, that I should try to believe in it. That I was too closed. (I personally think that I could try to be more open to it but I’ve never liked the things in exaggeration. I like balance in life and I felt that they were the kind of family that did everything as bible said and did not live their life at the fullest). That day we still were so in love, after the talked with her parents I tried to talk with her but she did not want to talk she just wanted to forget about it and keep growing our relationship. A lot of times it was like that. We kind of forgot the problems and kept living our relationship by putting them apart. But we did knew that they would come again… At one point (before we started having these problems) she became sick (panic attacks, dizzy, felt weak, headaches). I don’t know what was the exact reason but apparently she can feel the spirits and bad things and when she went to a trip she entered a place with bad spirits and it affected her. It started those problems.. After that when we had the discussion about God she became increasingly more and more sick, I don’t know the exact reason but I think one of the problems was that she was anxious for our relationship. The fact that my beliefs were so different than hers. They told me that it was not me but I am sure I added stress to her life as we already saw each other for the rest of our life together and we had a lot of plans… She was also a very reserved, shy and a girl that did not went out a lot. I felt that she was very immature in a lot of aspects of life. Her parents did control a lot of her life. They did not allow her to go out and I feel they transmuted their fears to her. She had a lot of fears and I wanted to help her get through them. I wanted to show her the real world. As she was almost always in her home, the beliefs of her parents of course were the ones that only existed in her world. I wanted to show her that in order to make good decisions we had to talk to a lot of persons, see a lot of things and with all the information we had, then we could make appropriate judgement. For me if we only have one point of view then for sure it will be the only one that is truthful, but it can be so biased… Anyways, she was very complicated. Didn’t like to go out the night to dance (we never did except one time with her aunt and cousin). Didn’t like to go out when it was to hot, when it was to cold, didn’t like to go to the pool, to the beach… For example to go dance her mom transmuted her fears to her telling her “those places are for bad people, there’s demons in there…” For me it was just so nice to go and dance and be with the person you love but for her it was not good places to go and she never went to a real club (latin club) to dance and already said she did not like that and she never wants to go there. (I personally believe we have to experience things before making a good judgement). When I started university in another city, I talked with her each day. And the first days I went to university her dad went out with her each day to take a walk with her. Me and her dad we were just ok, we respected each other but did not have an awesome friendship. And I know he was jealous, her mom told me that he felt that he was losing the love of his daughter because I was a lot with her. And at the same time I always made sure for her to feel loved. I was just always great with her and treated her extremely well… And that may be one of the reasons it arose jealousy.. I feel those days her dad talked a lot to her and maybe made her doubt about our relationship. 4 days after I started Uni and 4 days that she went out with her dad. I called her and she told me we had to talk the weekend. I told her that I wanted to talk about it right away (she stressed me out). She told me that she was sad because she felt she wanted me to change in so many ways and that it was bad. That even her, she would never change like that. (she didn’t like the type of music I listened to, I am a photographer and didn’t like me to have portraits of some models I took pictures to on the wall, didn’t like me to go and take pictures of models, wanted me to change my beliefs about the bible and God…) That day I told her that she had to make a decision. That I’ve learned to love her as who she was and I never asked her to change anything. That I accepted her and loved her for who she was and I would always do. But that she had to look at me and see if she can live with my differences. That she had to make a decision and that I thought that the problem that caused so many discussions was the fact that she didn’t accept me for what I was. Fast forward some days.. I started to lose weight, I was always stressed and I felt that the only times I was not stressed were when I was right beside her. She and her family became even more religious (listening to christian music all the time, watching christian movies, reading the bible all the time and taking the bible with her). She also started to see the wife of her pastor each day (2 weeks before she broke up with me). When she started seeing the wife of the pastor she doubted more and more about us.. Before all of this happened I told her that I would try to become more spiritual, that I needed time. Because I felt very pressured. My mom is catholic and she always talk to me about God and in her house her, and her mom always talked to me about God. Her mom one day told me that she had faith in me. And I told her why do you have faith in me? Why don’t you just accept me for who I am right now. I feel like you have faith for me to change… My ex told me that she would give me as many time as I needed to look into spirituality, God, the bible… She also told me if we could read some verses in the bible and I accepted but she never asked me about it again and we never did so. I proposed to her to talk with God together before going to sleep and talk about what we are grateful for and also what we needed help with… We did some days but eventually we stopped. The days she started seeing the pastor she changed so much, she was not as before she seemed to be doubtful, sometimes she was cold, these were the first days she didn’t text me or call me and went right away to sleep. She never did anything like that before… I felt sad.. 2 days before she broke up with me I invited her, her mom, my mom to a big city. The day was amazing, we went to the old city we walked took pictures and in those pictures we look so in love so happy.. I then invited them to eat and at the end we went to a light show where we have to walk and there are different thematic. At one point in that show she felt fear in a place that was particularly dark with only a little bit of white lights and a sound “BOOM” each 2 seconds. She could not continue and went back to the car. She did not finish the walk. She went back with her mom to the car and I walked with my mom, I showed her where she had fear and we talked, I told her that I was sad that she was afraid of things so normal and that even little kids went through, that I wanted to help her to get through these fears as I felt it will be a very big obstacle in her life… That I just wanted to help her as much as possible. We then came back in the car, she was sited in the back and came to the front and held my hand. I know she asked her mom and my mom if I was mad. And my mom told her that I was not, that I just loved her so much and wanted to help her get through these fears.. And that is really what I had in mind. I completely understood what she was going through, and for me it was something such as psychological fears that with help we can get through them. The next day she texted me and told me how I was. I told her good and you and she told me “i am very sad”, “ I can’t stop crying”. I went right away to her house. When I entered her room she was crying a lot. I didn’t know what happened… Eventually she sitted on her bed with me and told me that she did not want to lose me. She cried and then explained to me that she talked with the pastor and she had to chose between the real world and God. That right now she was in the middle and in a battle if we stay in the middle it is the best place to be killed… I didn’t answer anything to that. I just told her to not worry that she would never lose me, that I loved her. I saw that she was so sad that I called work and told that I couldn’t go to work to stay with her. I proposed her for me to paint her room (I know she was planning to do it but never did, and I thought it could help). It was a friday, she told me let’s do it monday. I told her ok. Then I proposed her to take a walk. She accepted, we went back to my place, I changed from work dress and dressed more casually and we went for a walk. She was happy she danced laughed she caressed me and she looked so happy. Then we came back to my place and we sitted to read. I went to get one of the books I was reading and she took the bible out of her backpack. Eventually my barber called me to get an haircut and I told her if she wanted to wait for me and she told me yes. So I kissed her told her I love you and she also did the same thing. Everything was so perfect. I then left and came back 1h30 min later. When I came back she wasn’t at my place. I thought it was weird and I decided to wait for her to at least text me or call me to tell me why she left even if she told me she was going to wait for me. That same day I don’t know why exactly one of the friends of my mom which works in the catholic church contacted me (I contacted him 1 month before asking him if we could talk about God). And he only contacted me 1 month back and told me he was free that day. So I went to his place and talked about God until very late. When I came out of his house I had a cleared point of view of what God meant. I looked at my phone and she didn’t text me nor call me. I know that day for sure she saw the wife of the pastor. It was late and nothing. So I texted her that I loved her, that she should not worry about God that I believed in him in my own way and explained how it was. And told her that we were both good persons and that was the most important thing, that we only did good things and that I believed in our relationship. I did that on messenger. Next day she connected but never opened the message in the morning and never connected back. I waited for her to answer to that message and she never did I went to work, went to the gym and came back home. In the afternoon, nothing… I felt there was something so strange and I felt I had to go to her house and talk to her. I did. When I was getting close to her house I saw her father and them inside. I parked on the side of the house. There’s a front entrance and a back entrance. And on the side there’s a big window. I knocked on the door and they did not open the door. I though, maybe they didn’t hear. So I knocked on the doorbell, and nothing they did not open. Now I knew there was something wrong. I then decided to go to the front door. I saw that there was a girl there and when I saw that girl I thought, that must be the wife of the pastor. I went to see her. She was in front of the front door so they could see her from inside but me, I was in front of a brick wall so they couldn’t see me from inside. That woman told me, maybe they are not there (because we waited about 20 seconds before her dad opened). Eventually when he opened, he told that woman, sorry, we didn’t open because there’s someone in the back door. (They knew it was me). Then he saw me and told me “Oh sorry, we have a reunion we will call you later.) At that moment I knew everything was wrong. I started walking down to my car. Then I heard my ex saying my name. She came to me and told me “I have something to tell you”, “Maybe you won’t like it”, “But our relationship is over”. I couldn’t believe it. I never thought it would end that way in my life. I thought that if it would end it would be in a good note… It completely fucked me over. I felt like a shit. I told her that it was unfair, that why don’t she takes the time to talk to me. To give me explanations. That I lover her more than anyone else in the world. That I knew she still loved me (when I said that she looked to the back (she always do that when she wants to cry but don’t want me to see it). I asked her if she had read my message on messenger and she said not, I tried to show it to her but she did not want to know anything. It was like me against the clock, more that I talked more that she backed of and I felt I had no time to talk with her as she was in a hurry to enter her house. She was so cold I did not recognize her. She told me “God be with you”. and things about God... I then left. That’s how everything ended. I am now recovering from it but I feel sad from time to time. As I loved her so much and she was my first love. I was 100% real with her and I wanted to help her accomplish great things in her life… But I felt that I was treated as if I had done something so bad… 2 months later her mom came to my work, we talked a bit and we were both very sad. We cried a bit and she told me that she wasn’t mad at me. That she had no reason to be mad at me. That I was an excellent guy. That my ex only has good souvenirs of me. But that she is not ready to see me again soon. That our paths are different but we never know what is going to happen in the future. And she told me that the reason she left me so radically was because of my religious beliefs. More exactly this on the bible: 2 corinth 6:14 (“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”). And also because I never went to their church with them. I feel that it doesn’t make any sense. As I never treated them wrong, I did always good things with all her family. I never lied and always told them what I thought about every subject by being 100% real. It is as if I am the wrong person and as if I don’t believe in anything. I am a lot better but I would like to get your opinion on this… Thank you if you took your time to read everything. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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