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Questioningone

Mistakes you made thinking it was “non-Christian”

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On 12/6/2018 at 11:46 AM, Stargazer95 said:

Not really a mistake, just more of an embarrassment. Several years back, some Christians had stuck bible passages on lampposts all over town. On one lamppost, someone else had covered the bible passage with a "God's not real" note, or something like that. I stood and scraped/peeled it off, even though people were looking at me. I thought I was being a good little Christian. In reality, I was just a good little moron making a fool of myself. 

I went around delivering those money notes with verses on them about salvation...... 

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14 hours ago, Dexter said:

 I am JUST NOW beginning to learn that “parties” aren’t evil. 

 

LOL, I've been to 2 or 3 that were!

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5 hours ago, Weezer said:

 

LOL, I've been to 2 or 3 that were!

 

Well... I may have since been to a few that are, um, pretty “dynamic” even by secular standards... but by in large, they are just casual enjoyment.

 

Now of the more wild parties I have since attended... I apologize for nothing! 

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The stupidest and most dangerous thing that i did was to trust in prayer. Turn it over to god, they said. He won't let you down, they said. He doesn't need your help! they said...And now my son is dead. 

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On 11/29/2018 at 12:55 PM, Jeff said:

Yeah. I got married so I could have sex @ 19 years old. 

 

Damn, I’ve always looked at marriage as how lucky those straights are because I was closeted and really emotionally hopeless as far as the possibility of being happy relationship-wise and romantically/sexually.

 

Ugh, Christianity sucks. 

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On 11/29/2018 at 8:14 PM, Fuego said:

Ejected a VHS tape my nephew was watching and pounded it to pieces. Clan of the Cave Bear. I thought it was showing him things he shouldn't see.

Family didn't react well to that, but I was insistent that it was not right...

 

Other stupid stuff:

 

Had pictures of aborted fetuses in my car windows. Yep, I was one of those guys. Also blocked doors to clinics 2 or 3 times. Arrested once.

 

Did prayer-walks with groups of pastors about 4am some mornings. A "prophet" had told us to strike before the demonic activity grew when the heathens woke up... We bound demons and cursed porn shops, anointed things with olive oil mixed with frankincense (cause that's more stuff from the bible - wooooo!) none of which had any effect at all. We encountered a Vietnam vet on a bike one morning and he commented that we looked like a squad out on patrol. That juiced us up of course. In reality, we were idiots tricked into thinking we were accomplishing something magical with our belief and woo. 

 

Bought and threw away rather a lot of porn. Endless cycle of trying not to be a human male with natural lust. Lots of other believers in the same boat, including pastors.

Man, I remember the prayer walks! I always felt super awkward,  but felt that it was due to lack of faith and confidence in "the spirit." Ugh!!!

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I told classmates I believed in the virgin birth 😄
Edit: I live in Europe where this made me look like a fool. However, somehow, these friendships would last for years to come.

And I also sent my atheist/agnostic family a lengthy email laying out the Roman Road. This was 16 years ago and still feels awkward. Never talked to them about it. The sent email still sits in my account.

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On 12/18/2018 at 1:33 PM, mich said:

The stupidest and most dangerous thing that i did was to trust in prayer. Turn it over to god, they said. He won't let you down, they said. He doesn't need your help! they said...And now my son is dead. 

What happened, mich?

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On 12/17/2018 at 6:30 PM, Questioningone said:

I went around delivering those money notes with verses on them about salvation...... 

 

What's really bad is when people leave those instead of a real tip for their servers at restaurants. Those things don't pay their rent/mortgage or put food on their tables.

 

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1 hour ago, Citsonga said:

 

What's really bad is when people leave those instead of a real tip for their servers at restaurants. Those things don't pay their rent/mortgage or put food on their tables.

 

Come on, it's all about eternal rewards! 😄

 

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Spent 21 years of my life hating myself, avoiding dating, and being myself. 

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On 12/30/2018 at 6:18 AM, offtheromanroad said:

What happened, mich?

Sorry for the delay~~ It is a very long story. (so long, I am writing a book). In a nutshell...I remarried after 9 years of widowhood. My son was 12. At 15, he became very sick with a rare seizure disorder. We did take him to the hospital ( which was actually taught against at church!). Traditional med could not help him and wanted to do a hemispherectomy. I opted for alternate treatment, as I didn't want half his brain removed. He was getting better, and better. In the meantime...he and his stepfather didn't click very well. One evening when he was 17, his stepfather spanked him (not very hard at all). But it got turned into a mountain, and he was taken from my home and ended up living with my mom and stepdad. Well, they took over his medical decisions ( they didn't like the ones that I had been making.) So he ended up having a hemispherectomy at age 18. He nearly died then. Meanwhile, I am praying for god to work all this out. At first, my mom instinct kicked in and TOLD me that one day I would need to know that I did EVERYTHING within my power to get my son back. At first everything I tried just backfired. No progress whatsoever. Just more damage. And then the 'conditioning' from church took over my mind. Turn it over to god. When you turn something over to god, leave it there. He doesn't need your help. And, as it seemed, everything I tried at the time turned out rotten, I thought god wanted me to let him take care of it. So I prayed. My husband moved me 500 miles away. I was subjective. I prayed. I waited. Patience is a virtue, they said. I prayed and waited. Keep peace, they said. I prayed and waited. And in 2011, at the age of 25, my son passed away, in the midst of a huge family crisis...So, I trusted in an imaginary safety net. (I became aware of this in 2017, it nearly killed me). I can see so much that could have been done over the years....but I was just praying and trusting and waiting. My son could have lived with the right treatment. He was getting better. But my hands were tied, others were making the decicions, and I thought god had it all under control and was working it all out....How stupid is that? And people can't see the dangers of religion...... 

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3 hours ago, mich said:

Sorry for the delay~~ It is a very long story. (so long, I am writing a book). In a nutshell...I remarried after 9 years of widowhood. My son was 12. At 15, he became very sick with a rare seizure disorder. We did take him to the hospital ( which was actually taught against at church!). Traditional med could not help him and wanted to do a hemispherectomy. I opted for alternate treatment, as I didn't want half his brain removed. He was getting better, and better. In the meantime...he and his stepfather didn't click very well. One evening when he was 17, his stepfather spanked him (not very hard at all). But it got turned into a mountain, and he was taken from my home and ended up living with my mom and stepdad. Well, they took over his medical decisions ( they didn't like the ones that I had been making.) So he ended up having a hemispherectomy at age 18. He nearly died then. Meanwhile, I am praying for god to work all this out. At first, my mom instinct kicked in and TOLD me that one day I would need to know that I did EVERYTHING within my power to get my son back. At first everything I tried just backfired. No progress whatsoever. Just more damage. And then the 'conditioning' from church took over my mind. Turn it over to god. When you turn something over to god, leave it there. He doesn't need your help. And, as it seemed, everything I tried at the time turned out rotten, I thought god wanted me to let him take care of it. So I prayed. My husband moved me 500 miles away. I was subjective. I prayed. I waited. Patience is a virtue, they said. I prayed and waited. Keep peace, they said. I prayed and waited. And in 2011, at the age of 25, my son passed away, in the midst of a huge family crisis...So, I trusted in an imaginary safety net. (I became aware of this in 2017, it nearly killed me). I can see so much that could have been done over the years....but I was just praying and trusting and waiting. My son could have lived with the right treatment. He was getting better. But my hands were tied, others were making the decicions, and I thought god had it all under control and was working it all out....How stupid is that? And people can't see the dangers of religion...... 

💔 Mich, I hope you have been able to be kind to yourself, and don't beat yourself up too severely...there is only so much we can do when we are brainwashed and don't know it and can't see it...until our eyes are opened. That's when we need to learn to be kind to ourselves or we will just do more damage.

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9 hours ago, TruthSeeker0 said:

💔 Mich, I hope you have been able to be kind to yourself...

I am learning to. I have definitely been at suicide's door several.times.over.the last few years, even b4 my deconversion. My son's story was just so very horrible, i felt as if god had forsaken us. And i was trying to do everything so perfectly, trusting and pleasing god. I had to just twist all the ugly details into something 'pretty' like 'god knows best', or 'His plan is perfect' or 'All things happen for good to them that love the lord' etc. And then when i deconverted and had a new set of thinking skills, reality hit me in the face of what really happened. I trusted in an imaginary safety net! A living nightmare to say the least. But i try to tell myself that we were all victims in this evil game called religion. I was told that god loves my children even more than me! Anyway, i do try to take care of myself. There are things that i have to do to keep my anxiety at bay...exercise, eating well, breathing.  I have realized that i have to happen to life, rather than just letting life happen to me. 

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On ‎1‎/‎13‎/‎2019 at 3:35 AM, mich said:

Sorry for the delay~~ It is a very long story. (so long, I am writing a book). In a nutshell...I remarried after 9 years of widowhood. My son was 12. At 15, he became very sick with a rare seizure disorder. We did take him to the hospital ( which was actually taught against at church!). Traditional med could not help him and wanted to do a hemispherectomy. I opted for alternate treatment, as I didn't want half his brain removed. He was getting better, and better. In the meantime...he and his stepfather didn't click very well. One evening when he was 17, his stepfather spanked him (not very hard at all). But it got turned into a mountain, and he was taken from my home and ended up living with my mom and stepdad. Well, they took over his medical decisions ( they didn't like the ones that I had been making.) So he ended up having a hemispherectomy at age 18. He nearly died then. Meanwhile, I am praying for god to work all this out. At first, my mom instinct kicked in and TOLD me that one day I would need to know that I did EVERYTHING within my power to get my son back. At first everything I tried just backfired. No progress whatsoever. Just more damage. And then the 'conditioning' from church took over my mind. Turn it over to god. When you turn something over to god, leave it there. He doesn't need your help. And, as it seemed, everything I tried at the time turned out rotten, I thought god wanted me to let him take care of it. So I prayed. My husband moved me 500 miles away. I was subjective. I prayed. I waited. Patience is a virtue, they said. I prayed and waited. Keep peace, they said. I prayed and waited. And in 2011, at the age of 25, my son passed away, in the midst of a huge family crisis...So, I trusted in an imaginary safety net. (I became aware of this in 2017, it nearly killed me). I can see so much that could have been done over the years....but I was just praying and trusting and waiting. My son could have lived with the right treatment. He was getting better. But my hands were tied, others were making the decicions, and I thought god had it all under control and was working it all out....How stupid is that? And people can't see the dangers of religion...... 

 

This sounds very sad and painful, mich. Does writing help you to process things?

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On 1/16/2019 at 2:05 AM, offtheromanroad said:

 

This sounds very sad and painful, mich. Does writing help you to process things?

 

Yes, how can you tell, LOL.

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