Vierge's probably only thread

[Vierge]

Hello everyone, it's been a long time coming for moi.  Unfortunately I tend to make myself a complicated person and feel the need to start from the beginning here.  I grew up in a firmly (but not zealously) catholic family, my sister and I primarily raised by our guardians, who sent us to catholic schools until hs graduation.  The dynamic between us and them was inordinately dysfunctional.  I left at 17 and did not socialize with them very much since.  Ambling forward with feigned interest in my classes, I started spending a lot of time researching conspiracy theories and the occult.  My favorite writer soon became David Icke and I frequented the DI forums.  I have come to believe essentially everything he has written about, particularly that the 'gods'/creators of humans were and are predators to us, that there are a number of bloodlines which maintain positions of power because of their affinity with 'heavenly' entities, and that most people are preoccupied with their private, worldly affairs and content to live their lives without questioning or challenging the corrupt establishments which, by extension of its' creators, causes widespread suffering and death.  In this paradigm life becomes quite an undignified nightmare for the weak.

 

Since those years I have had homeless phases, an awakening to my spiritual identity, a serious suicide attempt, multiple hospitalizations, and an incarceration lasting 5 months.  The aforementioned awakening came about after additional soul-searching and biblical research (in the parts of the bible they didn't talk about in school) and led me to believe that as a virgin I was very possibly one of 'Christ's' 'elect.'  I won't be able to detail all the intricacies surrounding this theory, but I will say I have a strong moral compass and commitment to veganism, and I can scarcely imagine many more qualified individuals than myself for the role of virgin-4-jesus - not only after a lifetime of introspection, but taking into consideration my own ancestry which is partly jewish - it just seemed a very hopeful concept when I took the time to read and reread the scriptures preaching chastity, wisdom, fasting, all of which were congruent to my lifestyle.

 

I held on to this identity through my mid-twenties and despite the ups and downs it remained reconcilable.  My perception of 'God' did revert to that of a predator however, as I perceived there to be little further explanation for my suffering, (which is constant and I have not mentioned the multiple traumatic events of my childhood which made things this way, but ain't nobody got time for that) and I started looking for an easy way out again.  The 5 months in jail was the last straw.  Since that experience my life experience overall has been as though my spiritual equity is not honored by the universe, and in spite of my unique story there is no actual purpose to my being.  At least not in this waking consciousness where all my thoughts concerning love or god are furious, indignant, and vengeful.  I would no longer identify as anything besides a misotheist.

 

 

As such I have a recurrent, insatiable itch to confront and defeat tptb, whether that is 'god' or his wicked subordinates.  It unfortunately makes sense to me why a portion of America's youth turn to groups like ISIS, and how some of the most oppressed people in this world long-suffering innocents such as my sister and I, and others most likely to comprise the 'bride' of Christ.  If that's still a thing, who knows?  But finally I wanted to include these clips (from one of my favorite shows) that so cleanly express my feeling about the human condition and what it means for people like me to continue fighting every day.

 

 

http://southpark.cc.com/clips/188248/wendy-to-the-principals-office-please#source=473fef35-48a7-434c-afc6-207874c7f1a3:0696daf8-ed01-11e0-aca6-0026b9414f30&position=10&sort=playlist

 

http://southpark.cc.com/clips/188249/fight-the-cancer#source=473fef35-48a7-434c-afc6-207874c7f1a3%3A0696daf8-ed01-11e0-aca6-0026b9414f30&position=11&sort=playlist&autoPlay=true

 

I expect that this post will complement my efforts in pursuing my goal and I will feel better for it.  Happy Holidays lol

[Joshpantera]

A cautious welcome aboard, Vierge. 

 

Not exactly sure what to make of the introduction. 

[NeverHealed52Years]

Vierge, What you wrote is  confusing. What exactly are you trying to, or expecting to,  become or achieve or find???

[◊ DestinyTurtle ◊]

On 12/2/2018 at 9:15 PM, Vierge said:

My perception of 'God' did revert to that of a predator however, as I perceived there to be little further explanation for my suffering, (which is constant and I have not mentioned the multiple traumatic events of my childhood which made things this way, but ain't nobody got time for that) and I started looking for an easy way out again. 

We (humans) keep creating narratives to attempt to make sense of that which we cannot make sense of. Welcome to X-Xian, and I'm sorry to hear about your trauma and your difficulties. The world seems a cruel place sometimes.

[♦ nivek ♦]

Vierges,

 

I will say right up front that Ex-Christian dot net does not condone attempts of mental health repairs via posts on this Communities Boards.

 

Will simply ask this: "What do you want from Ex-C and how do you plan on applying your life to "get better"?"

 

Suggesting that if you have a Professional Counselor's use please go there for assistance.  If you are without please contact persons local to you and inquire.

 

kevinL

[Vierge]

Hi just to clarify this is just a forum and threads can be about anything related to the forum subject matter so long as it does not violate the terms or conditions, or other regulations on content.

This is a forum titled 'ex-christian.net' and lacks an 'about' page with a mission statement and I do not feel compelled to dig through the blog to ascertain its particular purposes.  So it's a place for ex-christians.

Most threads are boring and generally uninformative, contain mostly speculation and 'cool stories', and this thread is not trying to be particularly different from that. 

Nothing I wrote about is really that confusing or difficult to understand unless you're stuck at a grade school reading level.

Anyway, I'm going to feed my next month's subscription to Smash Ultimate DLC instead anyway so feel free to be a malcontent all over my content.

 

Adieu!

[Joshpantera]

 

 

39 minutes ago, Vierge said:

This is a forum titled 'ex-christian.net' and lacks an 'about' page with a mission statement and I do not feel compelled to dig through the blog to ascertain its particular purposes. 

 

Encouraging ex-christians is the purpose. 

 

 

 

[buffettphan]

From the Home Page - Guidelines:

 

https://www.ex-christian.net/guidelines/