Hey

[twosummerdays]

I made the decision to leave the religion about 6 yrs ago. The moment I finally realized that bible is full of fallacies, I knew instantly where my journey would wind up with. But it took so long...to finally got here.

Now I am preety comfortable living in the secular setting -- I was lucky that throughout the journey in and out of Christianity I have lived in a pretty liberal neighborhood -- a secular country before I moved into US,  and big liberal cities afterwards, so I could switch my community without any outside pressure. But still, inwardly I struggled quite a lot -- well, admitting that I had made the wrong choice and stick with riduculous doctrines had been quite hard truth that I reject taken in for a long period of time. But now, I am gladly acknowledging them and accept myself and live with the fact that I am a fallible human being, and it does not have to be in that hypocritical religions setting -- what a relief.

 

Still there were harmful habits so very tightly knotted by the religion that only recently occurred to me as still unsettled, though I've been miles away from that torture and I thought I could live as if it never happened. Well it's still there but now it seems that I am mature enough to challenging those old habits without overwhelmed by the huge amount of emotional reactions I once had. One of those poisonous habits is that I would undervalue my ability and my credit with ridiculous reasons and always focus on the (most-often-exaggerated) weak points -- that was how I persuade myself that I am totally corrupted even though I have obvious and undeniable achievements. Then and for a while afterwards I took secret pride in 'appearing humble' so it does not raise enough attention but now I realized how harmful it was for my mood and self image. I am now planning on working with a psychologist to set my evaluating system straight. 

 

Don't know if you guys have been through similar process but any lead would be appreciated! Oh and, finally, glad that we have this community so conveniently suited online!

[Joshpantera]

7 hours ago, twosummerdays said:

One of those poisonous habits is that I would undervalue my ability and my credit with ridiculous reasons and always focus on the (most-often-exaggerated) weak points -- that was how I persuade myself that I am totally corrupted even though I have obvious and undeniable achievements. Then and for a while afterwards I took secret pride in 'appearing humble' so it does not raise enough attention but now I realized how harmful it was for my mood and self image. I am now planning on working with a psychologist to set my evaluating system straight. 

 

Welcome to ex-C!

 

The down trodden nature of christian dogma can be very damaging. It puts ideas in peoples heads that they are the "dung" of the earth, lowly, groveling around on their knees unworthy. When you face off with the fact that this is a remnant of old bronze age mythology retold, reworked and refashioned many times over, the lowly attitude sort of falls into place. It's just a product of it's ancient times and clearly has little relevance today, aside from people clinging on to it and not letting it fall off. 

 

We're just an online community and offer support and encouragement. If you feel the need to seek professional help we support that and encourage you to do just that. You need to do the best you can do to get over the damages done by your respective faith and church. And yes, many people here have been damaged in similar ways and have sought professional help to try and grow past all of it. 

[Geezer]

Welcome, glad you found us. I’m certain you will find this site helpful and encouraging. 

[TruthSeeker0]

Welcome! Christianity can be very harmful for your mental health with all it teaches, and I would recommend seeing a (secular) therapist if you need help processing how it has affected you. I was in therapy myself for awhile and found it very useful. It also helps to have this community here, and our online chat room if you're interested in joining that.

[Derek]

Welcome  the christian cult has a way of stealing your essence. They stole my youth. But this is a good place to be...lots of positive support here

[MOHO]

Welcome to Ex-Christian, @twosummerdays. Glad you found us.

 

Stick around and read/post some more. This is a great place to continue your journey and assist others with theirs. 

    - MOHO (MInd Of His Own)

[◊ Weezer ◊]

Sounds like you are a human being with a basic sense of decency.   WELCOME!

[◊ DestinyTurtle ◊]

On 12/9/2018 at 11:34 PM, twosummerdays said:

Don't know if you guys have been through similar process but any lead would be appreciated! Oh and, finally, glad that we have this community so conveniently suited online!

Welcome to X-Xian! What you're experiencing is completely normal. It takes a long time to weed out poisonous and deep rooted programming, especially if you were exposed to it as a child. It took me about 10 years to get fully passed these feelings, I think? Anyways, you're on the right path - just keep trucking along and take turtle steps.

 

-DestinyTurtle

[twosummerdays]

Thanks for your warm comments! I wished I've posted it earlier.

 

I actually found this forum right after I realized that Christianity has fallacies, but I hesitated to post back then. In retro I was in the state where my mind, the rational self, fully understood where it leads to keep my conscience good while my heart, the emotional self, refused to let go. It was literally heartbreaking as if the ground I stood on was shattered. I shouted silently like an abandoned wife who just recently found the affair of the husband but had no way of turning his mind back -- what an irony, in my case, the one that I shouted at did not even exist...

 

But now I looked at it, from a humanistic point of view, I realized that I should give myself more validation, even to those lamentations to the one that did not exist. The god does not exist but I do, and so are my emotions, my reactions. Those emotions themselves validate me as a human being with a sense of morality, loving to move closer to what is real, and hating lies and betrayals. The first step towards healing is acknowledging. I might have heard the above quote in a Christianity context but it is humanistic as well; so long as it is true I won't reject it simply because some religion also endorse it, for even under the pressure of that religion human beings are human being and they seek truth.