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Feel free for the first time in my life


Questioningone
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I now swear releasing anger and feel I can now enjoy myself. I watched a cartoon with magic and feel I no longer have guilt and pain inside me anymore. I feel I don’t have to live a certain way or please God. I have stopped crying and screaming at God for answers. I have stopped praying and feel so liberated!

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Yes- I have a vivid memory from the first week post Christian. I had left a blanket out on the line at night(sorry-Stay at home mom here). I suddenly remembered it and brought it in. In such a case, I would have thought, thank-you god! I would never have remembered that without you! That time, I thought, “great job, self.” Same thing happened like the next week when my toddler daughter broke her leg. Instead of praying the whole way to the emergency room, I talked to her and comforted her. We had a caring physician(even though I didn’t pray for that) and my daughter was fine. 

 

just talking to to a friend about how we can be ourselves  ow, without having to worry about our “witness.”

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On 12/10/2018 at 3:53 PM, Questioningone said:

I now swear releasing anger

 

My wife calls it "Navy language."

 

Mark Twain made a number of comments about that which you might enjoy:

"Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." [Well, Twain was an atheist so I suspect he never got any relief from prayer if he even bothered to try it. For us prayer means nothing anyway.]

"There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that."

"Profanity is more necessary to me than is immunity from colds."

"My swearing doesn't mean any more to me than your sermons do to you." — comment made to Rev. Joe Twichell

 

 

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On 12/10/2018 at 6:53 PM, Questioningone said:

I now swear releasing anger and feel I can now enjoy myself. I watched a cartoon with magic and feel I no longer have guilt and pain inside me anymore. I feel I don’t have to live a certain way or please God. I have stopped crying and screaming at God for answers. I have stopped praying and feel so liberated!

FRRREEEEEDDDDOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

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20 hours ago, older said:

 

My wife calls it "Navy language."

 

Mark Twain made a number of comments about that which you might enjoy:

"Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." [Well, Twain was an atheist so I suspect he never got any relief from prayer if he even bothered to try it. For us prayer means nothing anyway.]

"There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that."

"Profanity is more necessary to me than is immunity from colds."

"My swearing doesn't mean any more to me than your sermons do to you." — comment made to Rev. Joe Twichell

 

 

Those quotations are hilarious! Thanks for sharing!

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10 hours ago, Derek said:

I actually find it kind of sad that religious people THINK they know freedom.

 

There is a great weight that lifts from one's shoulders upon realizing that you no longer have to worry about pleasing some inscrutable deity.

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2 hours ago, Questioningone said:

I worried daily I was being unpleasing and was angering god. I felt scared, ashamed and terrified. I thought if I sinned and died suddenly I’d go to hell. It was not a religion of peace.

What an extraordinarily negative religion it is. It castigates the individual for being human, has a negative attitude about sex and the human body, and is obsessed with death. What's weird is so many of those inside of it smile anyway.

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6 hours ago, Questioningone said:

I worried daily I was being unpleasing and was angering god. I felt scared, ashamed and terrified. I thought if I sinned and died suddenly I’d go to hell. It was not a religion of peace. 

I felt the same as a child and young teenager. I spent nights awake and scared that I had done some stupid thing to piss off the invisible asshole and I was going to hell. When I figured out that it wasn't real, the relief was...beautiful. :)

 

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10 hours ago, Questioningone said:

I worried daily I was being unpleasing and was angering god. I felt scared, ashamed and terrified. I thought if I sinned and died suddenly I’d go to hell. It was not a religion of peace. 

Before I found this website and y'all here I was convinced these toxic side effects were just mostly byproducts of the fundyism I was part of. It's been really eye opening to figure out exactly how common this brainwashing is. Sad, but also good at the same time, because I truly thought I was the only wacko out there.

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On 12/14/2018 at 12:21 PM, Questioningone said:

I worried daily I was being unpleasing and was angering god. I felt scared, ashamed and terrified. I thought if I sinned and died suddenly I’d go to hell. It was not a religion of peace. 

Yes! If it is of help to anyone, I learned the term scrupulosity thru this forum. It’s a type of ocd, and addressing it in that way, with my therapist, has been incredibly helpful. 

 

I can hardly fathom the amounts of emotional energy I put into religion. So glad I’m done with it. 

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