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How to find myself after Christianity (hobbies)


Questioningone
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42 minutes ago, Questioningone said:

Update. I’m finding it hard to remove god from my life. God filled a deep void I had in my heart a lot and nothing fills that now. I’m trying to find hobbies but nothing is working. I can’t be a Christian, it made me miserable every day and so upset. 

I’ve also been wondering what to do with all the bible studies and books, posters..etc I have got. Including bibles and posters even. Seems a waste to throw out. I had achieved a certificate as well. 

Don't put a time limit on anything, including when to let go of the religious stuff.  Just allow everything to happen and don't fight it too much. I threw out my religious things one at a time and on certain days when I was ready to let it go. If you pick up a hobby and don't like it, try again. Or do them all. Be as OCD as you want. Read for a while, take a walk, do some housework, watch history youtubes, keep investigating why you are not a believer anymore. Just do what you want. I know it can feel empty for a while but that vacuumed hole well start to fill in with other things. But it takes time so don't be hard on yourself. I went back to work. I hate it but it's the best thing in the world for me. Best of luck...and keep posting.

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1 hour ago, Questioningone said:

Update. I’m finding it hard to remove god from my life. God filled a deep void I had in my heart a lot and nothing fills that now. I’m trying to find hobbies but nothing is working. I can’t be a Christian, it made me miserable every day and so upset. 

I’ve also been wondering what to do with all the bible studies and books, posters..etc I have got. Including bibles and posters even. Seems a waste to throw out. I had achieved a certificate as well. 

Give yourself time, and plenty of it. This isn't a matter of changing your life in a matter of weeks or months, but years. Patience is key. I would also see a secular therapist and talk about this with them. It helps a lot with learning to cope and gain a new perspective.

As to those, well if god is out of your life and religion made your miserable, I would celebrate with a bonfire, watch them go up in smoke and say hello to a brighter future. Seeing them on the shelves will only hold memories for you you don't need at this point. Another option is just donate them to a used book store.

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Regarding your exhaustion have you had that diagnosed? Certainly a lot of potential reasons for it (diet, parasites, sleep issues, illness, allergies etc). If you know the cause then its a question of whether it is resolvable or if you don't then you should focus on getting that corrected. 

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23 hours ago, Questioningone said:

Update. I’m finding it hard to remove god from my life. God filled a deep void I had in my heart a lot and nothing fills that now. I’m trying to find hobbies but nothing is working. I can’t be a Christian, it made me miserable every day and so upset. 

I’ve also been wondering what to do with all the bible studies and books, posters..etc I have got. Including bibles and posters even. Seems a waste to throw out. I had achieved a certificate as well. 

You will get used to it. I am sure that there are volunteer organizations in your area...Lions club, volunteer fire department, community recreation committees...I'd bet that any of those could use some of your time. 

As for the books, posters, and whatnot, I would recommend that you do get rid of it, but on your own time, of course. Don't give it to anyone else, because that wont do them any favors.

How about reading books by atheist authors such as Richard Dawkins? I found that the more I read about the fallacies and dangers of religion, the more determined I was to stay away from it. :)

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On 12/25/2018 at 12:07 PM, Margee said:

My reply is to Questioningone: I’m finding it hard to remove god from my life. God filled a deep void I had in my heart a lot and nothing fills that now. I’m trying to find hobbies but nothing is working. I can’t be a Christian, it made me miserable every day and so upset. 

I’ve also been wondering what to do with all the bible studies and books, posters..etc I have got. Including bibles and posters even. Seems a waste to throw out. I had achieved a certificate as well. 

I joined Toastmasters International. They're a worthy group to join. They have weekly meetings where it's a place for personal self-improvement as well as a place to help you to be a better communicator in your workplace, helps you to improve public speaking, make new friends and have fun. Google to find a group near you.

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Taken an interest crystals. I bought a rose quartz necklace. I tended to avoid crystals as I thought it was witch-ish but even during my Christian days I did buy a rose quartz bracelet. I wore it today. I’m also researching crystals in healing andtried to see my own aura. Yesterday it seemed blue and today bluish, pinkish and purple. I’m practicing. Going to buy a chakra bracelet sometime. I’m looking at it for healing. Probably waste of time and total bulls*** (ok yes it is) but I am experimenting. I’ve found the “mystical” world interesting since I was a kid. I also have been looking at my own birth chart. I used to be into those a lot and palmistry and graphology. 

If I had my own home I’d buy chimes, candles  and crystals and dolphin ornaments and stuff like that. 

 

I’ve been drawn to rose quartz since I was a teen.. think because it’s my favourite colour. Actually it is a stone of my star sign too.  

 

Also found a neat kpop song I’m totally into.. listened to it on repeat 

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On 12/27/2018 at 2:50 AM, Questioningone said:

Taken an interest crystals.

I don't pretend to understand a theory behind it, but I find crystals and rocks very grounding and emotionally calming!

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On 12/25/2018 at 8:16 PM, Questioningone said:

Update. I’m finding it hard to remove god from my life. God filled a deep void I had in my heart a lot and nothing fills that now. I’m trying to find hobbies but nothing is working. I can’t be a Christian, it made me miserable every day and so upset. 

I’ve also been wondering what to do with all the bible studies and books, posters..etc I have got. Including bibles and posters even. Seems a waste to throw out. I had achieved a certificate as well. 

 

Hey there, it took me years to get rid of my Christian books. There's even a thread about this somewhere. I think a lot of people feel/felt the same.

 

What about joining a secular choir?

 

I don't sing right now, but I miss it. That's actually one of the things I miss the most.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I could not wait to get rid of all the religious books. Sneaking the dozen or so bibles out of the house without my spouse noticing was another matter.

 

Japanese tattoos are freaking awesome... I mean if you get bored and want a more permanent change... :D

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  • 1 year later...
On 12/25/2018 at 8:16 PM, Questioningone said:

Update. I’m finding it hard to remove god from my life. God filled a deep void I had in my heart a lot and nothing fills that now. I’m trying to find hobbies but nothing is working. I can’t be a Christian, it made me miserable every day and so upset. 

I’ve also been wondering what to do with all the bible studies and books, posters..etc I have got. Including bibles and posters even. Seems a waste to throw out. I had achieved a certificate as well. 

I feel the same.I can't be a Christian, cause it's too hard, and it isn't really what I'm looking for, but It did give me peace sometimes ( and a whole lot of turmoil also).But joy, not really. I just can't get excited anymore. Everything is empty.Day to day things or entertainment don't entertain me at all. I wish I had never met God tbh. Life was much more excited when I was just Catholic. 

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On ‎12‎/‎13‎/‎2018 at 12:50 PM, MOHO said:

How about finding an online social media site were people bitch about Christianism and Religiosity?

No.

That's lame.

 

Never mind.

 

I don't think any such places exist :ph34r:

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On 2/18/2020 at 9:21 PM, IsaBrisa said:

I feel the same.I can't be a Christian, cause it's too hard, and it isn't really what I'm looking for, but It did give me peace sometimes ( and a whole lot of turmoil also).But joy, not really. I just can't get excited anymore. Everything is empty.Day to day things or entertainment don't entertain me at all. I wish I had never met God tbh. Life was much more excited when I was just Catholic. 

Why was life more exciting? I think you need to examine why. What emotional high did xtianity give you? Did you leave socially as well if all your friends were xtian and that is part of it? Did it affect your relationship with your family? These things can be replaced with other enriching things, it takes time, energy and perseverance and most of all awareness of what is missing in your life and a plan to improve it. 

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Although it helps, life is more than excitement and entertainment.   We need to feel worthwhile.  That takes each person doing something that helps them feel worthwhile.  And being around people that contribute to the feeling. Others can help you in the process, but no One can give it to you.  What do you have to offer to the world that would help you feel worthwhile? 

 

Helping people leave oppressive beliefs on this forum helps me feel worthwhile.  Giving my kids and grandkids a good foundation to build their lives on helps with the feeling.  But I can't give it to them.  They have to complete the building themselves to feel a sense of accomplishment, and being worthwhile.  And it takes more than just feeding your own wants.  You do not leave yourself behind, but it takes getting outside of self and doing what you can to make this a better world to live in. 

 

What do I do for excitement and entertainment?   Ride an Enduro motorcycle across country off road, or on back roads.  Look "outside the box".  Find something you are good at and enjoy.  Even if others think it is crazy, like my wife and some relatives, GET OUTSIDE THE BOX OF YOUR PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES.   Use good judgement, but take what others want you to do with a grain of salt. 

 

By the way, you may never consider it, but riding isnt just for men.  I occasionally ride with 2 women who are in their 50s.  I am telling you this because the your options are almost limitless.  But you will have to open your mind and get off the couch to find them.

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3 hours ago, Weezer said:

Although it helps, life is more than excitement and entertainment.   We need to feel worthwhile.  That takes each person doing something that helps them feel worthwhile.  And being around people that contribute to the feeling. Others can help you in the process, but no One can give it to you.  What do you have to offer to the world that would help you feel worthwhile? 

 

Helping people leave oppressive beliefs on this forum helps me feel worthwhile.  Giving my kids and grandkids a good foundation to build their lives on helps with the feeling.  But I can't give it to them.  They have to complete the building themselves to feel a sense of accomplishment, and being worthwhile.  And it takes more than just feeding your own wants.  You do not leave yourself behind, but it takes getting outside of self and doing what you can to make this a better world to live in. 

 

What do I do for excitement and entertainment?   Ride an Enduro motorcycle across country off road, or on back roads.  Look "outside the box".  Find something you are good at and enjoy.  Even if others think it is crazy, like my wife and some relatives, GET OUTSIDE THE BOX OF YOUR PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES.   Use good judgement, but take what others want you to do with a grain of salt. 

 

By the way, you may never consider it, but riding isnt just for men.  I occasionally ride with 2 women who are in their 50s.  I am telling you this because the your options are almost limitless.  But you will have to open your mind and get off the couch to find them.

Exactly. People compare the present to the past. Don't do that. The future is yours for the taking. What do you want out of life? 

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Many prisoners who get released find a way to go back to prison. The issue is that they got so used to the regimentation they never had to make and choices or decisions on their own. It's too big a transition for some people to make without professional help. I see many people who leave the church in the same situation; Who will tell me what to do? Who will tell me the approved activities? Who will tell me what to think?

 

If you can't handle the sudden freedom and autonomy and are overwhelmed by having unlimited choices, perhaps some professional help is indicated. It's not a unique situation. Good luck.

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On 12/12/2018 at 1:22 AM, Questioningone said:

Does anyone have any idea on how to find hobbies? I am meant to go walking for health but I’m really rundown and sick right now. 

 

 

I like to go to the library and browse around.

 

The one near me has classes, a couple nights ago I went to a free yoga class at the library.

 

 

 

 

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I took up shaving many years ago as a teenager; and I've been doing it regularly since then.  It doesn't relieve stress or anything.  It just makes my face smoother.

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16 hours ago, Chikirin said:

 

 

I like to go to the library and browse around.

 

The one near me has classes, a couple nights ago I went to a free yoga class at the library.

 

 

 

 

Good idea. There's a ton of free courses and books online if you just get access to them through the right channels - my library has an endless amount of ebooks and access to Kanopy, with unlimited access to things like The Great Courses. 

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  • 4 weeks later...

I don't have a specific hobby to recommend, but I have some overall advice. What worked for me was to stop trying to reclaim old interests and hobbies. And instead try things I would never have considered. 

 

So this may sound odd but, as an example, I've been learning about the Satanic Temple. That's something I would never in a million years considered 2 months ago. But now I find it interesting. I won't be joining, but I have learned to appreciate what they're trying to do.

 

It's taken my mind off of reclaiming something from my past and has shifted my focus to exploring the unknown.

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  • 10 months later...
On 12/12/2018 at 8:22 AM, Questioningone said:

 

Does anyone have any idea on how to find hobbies? I am meant to go walking for health but I’m really rundown and sick right now. 

For a series, how about friends? I don't know if it's your type of series, but I find it pretty funny and it might lift your mood up a bit. Usually when I'm upset I think of something to that gives me something to look forward to. Today it was eating burgers and drinking cooldrink (I've been craving fizzy cooldrinks lately lol) even the small things, like seeing someone. I used to stress alot when I was a Christian and after going to my parents work for the day (I was too scared to be home alone, I didn't like to be alone during that time) I would look forward to going home and watching whatever series my parents and i were watching at the time and just relaxing. Maybe try swimming? Reading a book? 

 

I dont think this really helps but it's some things I do or used to do that helped

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  • 1 month later...

I have a contrary perspective that I hope helps in some capacity. I'd say hobbies in general are good, but I'd also be honest and say I have very very few hobbies, and it's gone down with time - I work long hours and I'm just darn tired. Part of my prior christian mindset is that napping and not doing anything is sinful and bad, but I think that's also part of wider culture (USA/politics/religion/philosophy/etc.). If you're tired or don't want to do anything or just want to nap, or watch TV, I think moving past the concept of sinfulness of rest is good. 

 

Here's a short story that gives me peace, and I hope it does for you too! Hobbies are great, but rest is also good!

 

https://www.sloww.co/tourist-fisherman/

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