So I was scrolling through Facebook when...

[Dexter]

Whelp, time to check Facebook to make sure no one in my family is dead... 

 

 

*****TRIGGERED!!!!!!*****

Oh, be still my heart. Let's read together shall we?

 

 

Oh boy! How can god ever compete with people having sex? It's almost as those the "personal experiences" from those kinds of encounters are WAY stronger than the personal experiences the righteous have with their divine. 

 

 

-All things have been deemed permissible by our culture AND by Paul in 1 Corinthians 6:12 and 10:23

-"Marriage"? Oh shit! I need to start putting a trademark on that word! God is litigious as fuck.

-Yes, of course. What could be wrong with those things? After all, I mean, if we are being completely honest with each other here, my boyfriend and I inviting a friend over for adultery really is about the same as raping a child. Or a dog. Or a god. Amiright?

 

 

 

-Just ignore Exodus 10:21. And Deuteronomy 21:15-17. And Abraham. And Isaac. Jacob. David. Esau. Solomon. Elkanah. There are countless others but I'll just leave it to the chosen of god for this list. 

-Oh, marriage™ was a part of gods 'very good'™ plan? Sorry, but wasn't it the first married couple that forced god against his will to unleash suffering untold upon the world? How 'very good'™

 

((To be continued due to file size constraints))

[Dexter]

 

- Unless you are a man after god’s own heart. Then you can kill another man and take his wife for your own and add her to your harem. 

- god, the all-powerful, will start to melt if you are all three; a polygamist polyamorous homosexual. 

- goddammit! Now I have to trademark gender pronouns too? All this theocratically correct language is bullshit. Fine. He created him™, male™ and female™ he created them™. Or ze™ or sie™ or hir™

 

 

- Regardless of consent, there is to be NO consent. You are COMMANDED not to separate. Remember Matthew 7:16 when it says “You shall know them by their fruits.” If you run across anyone who even dares espouse the idea of consent, they are of the world and they have satan in them. Only when you are commanded about what you will do will you know the righteousness of god.

- Another of the Ten Commandments is to remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. What day was that again? Maybe I should ask the average Christian what day the Sabbath is and whether they keep it holy. 

- And may her boobs always satisfy you. Proverbs 5:19

 

 

- Unchanging huh? Ever unchanging. Like in the 1830’s how the frontier women had no right to remain single? Perhaps in the 1950’s when Desi Arnaz turned Lucille Ball over his knee and spanked her like a disobedient child on national TV? Or the modern era where all are equal but a woman is to submit her consent to her husband? Of course. Forever unchanging. How could I have failed to notice. Must be the satan in me. 

 

At least there’s finally some good news in the recommended stories. 

 

This article pisses me off. Perhaps I am tipping my hand and perhaps I am about to say something controversial, even within this group, but I am in a poly relationship. And no, it wasn’t out of rebellion or desire for sinful expression. Oh no. It was you, Christianity, that taught me how to love. To love unconditionally. To love the sinner. To be reckless with my love even at my own cost. Where I errored is that I actually believed the lessons of Christianity that I was taught more than I believed in the secondary teachings of the church. I errored by trying to take these lessons of love and actually live them. To incorporate them into the very fiber of my being. And when I finally lost the fear of a sky daddy poised to strike me with his cosmic fly-swatter, I found that literally loving without condition (something that Christianity teaches but does NOT live out) I do not struggle to extend it to everyone who means so much to me. 

 

No, AiG, it’s not the sinful culture that taught me how to love. It was god. And if it truly is dangerous and destructive, then I’ll chalk it up to another scar I carry from trying to love a loving compassionate god.