Desire to live in another country

[Lost]

Hi !!!

 

I don't know how many of You have ever experienced in life an overpowering desire to live in another country than the one that You were born in. I have.

 

All of us was born somewhere in the world and with time we grow up and decide where we wanna live.

 

When I was younger and I was watching TV for me an American World seemed to be the one that I want to live in, when I will be an adult. Mostly because of language, culture diversity, feeling of being cool and many more. After some years I thought to myself that USA is too far from Poland and it really hard to go there, because of many boundries and

a visa thing.

 

During school years I realized in my mind that well...actually...England and the whole United Kingdom is in Europe and it's in European Union. So when I started my Nursing studies in 2013 I thought that it's a great opportunity to go there after finishing studies and work and talk in English all the time. And maybe finally write a screenplay for a movie (which is my main dream). And to meet great people insupport groups who experienced lots of weird psychologically damaging things in life like losing mum in childhood, losing Faith in God and losing the whole identity.

And all of the sudden this whole BREXIT thing ruined everthing. Not only for people outside the UK, but also for people from the UK, who had a dream to live in a romantic Paris, a hot and energetic Spain and Italy or in another country.

 

But sometimes a dream can turn to something that later might be the greatest regreatof life, so maybe  I went too far with my imagination when it comes to living in the USA and the UK?

 

Well, in my country there is more and more visitors from other countries, especially in bigger cities. Sometimes, even at my work at McDonald's I have a opportunity to talk in English when tourists come. But I live in much more less attractive town than Warsaw or Cracow.

 

Please, England! Let me to come to You and work as a nurse. I promise I won't make any problems and I will be nice and I will be speaking with British accent! I will even learn a sign language. But please...let me experience living in your country.

 

Anyway...have You ever wanted to live in another country so badly that You sacrificed a lot or after some time You gave up?

 

And how to get to the USA or UK step by step as a person from another country?

 

What can You advice me from Your observation of this whole issue as someone who lives in the USA or in the UK? Maybe You have some friends or co-workers who went through this process of moving in to another country?

 

[TheRedneckProfessor]

I've lived in the United Kingdom before (Northern Ireland).  I liked it better than America.  I've also visited Cracow and Warsaw.  I'd probably rather live in Cracow or Riga, if I were going to live in Europe.  It's hard for me to choose between Europe or Asia, though.  I've visited Europe several times; but only visited Asia once, so far.   Travel is the most fascinating thing in the world.

 

You might consider living in the Republic of Ireland.  It's still part of the EU; and is an English speaking country.  The Irish are very friendly and hospitable.  In fact, immigrants become so comfortable in Ireland that they are described as becoming "more Irish than the Irish."  

[older]

I've thought a lot about this and have determined that there is no perfect place. Every spot has its plusses and minuses. And many countries look great from the outside or from a short visit but the long-term situation is something else. I would only relocate if I could do it on a temporary basis, leaving open the possibility of returning. Remember the old saying: The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

 

Having said that, as an American and seeing what is happening here both in the short term and in the long term, if I was under 30 I'd do whatever it takes to emigrate to New Zealand.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

8 hours ago, older said:

I've thought a lot about this and have determined that there is no perfect place. Every spot has its plusses and minuses. And many countries look great from the outside or from a short visit but the long-term situation is something else. I would only relocate if I could do it on a temporary basis, leaving open the possibility of returning. Remember the old saying: The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

 

Having said that, as an American and seeing what is happening here both in the short term and in the long term, if I was under 30 I'd do whatever it takes to emigrate to New Zealand.

I have nephews in Australia, a son in Vietnam,  and another son who is half Russian.  I feel the same way concerning the seeming downfall of America.  I hope I'm wrong, as I love this country.  But, having family all over the world certainly gives me options.

 

However, in my experience as an old country boy, the grass is only greener over the septic tank.

[TABA]

Hi ‘Lost’,

 

I like @TheRedneckProfessor’s idea about moving to Ireland.  Lots of Polish people have moved there and seem to be doing very well.  Full disclosure: I am originally from Ireland and so I’m a bit partial to the place, but I really do think it’s a wonderful country.  To be honest the only downside is the weather.  Even though I don’t like very warm weather and Ireland rarely gets uncomfortably hot, it’s so damn dreary so often that it can get to you. 

 

Even after ‘Brexit’ I don’t expect it would be that hard for a smart determined Pole to move to the UK.  Another place to consider is Canada.  Easier to get into than the US and very similar in most ways.  I’m an immigrant to the USA myself and there are some things I prefer about Canada, some things I prefer about the US.  They’re both wonderful, diverse, free countries.  You have the freedom to make your own life without some of the social pressures that exist elsewhere. If you can’t be happy in the US or Canada, you’re probably not gonna be happy anywhere.  Yes the US is going through a bit of turbulence right now but it’s been through a lot worse and I have confidence we’ll come out OK. 

 

Best of luck to you - stay in touch!

[Ellinas]

The main problem for anyone wanting to move to the UK, I suspect, is that there is a distinct whiff of xenophobia in the air.  Brexit is just one symptom, and has continental Europeans primarily in its' sights - the approach of most Brexiters I've come across seems to rather favour the anglophone world, if only in a vague and, frankly, rather daft hope that suddenly we will trade with people half a world away at least as easily as we do currently with our nearest neighbours.

The Home Office appears to have the capacity to be obstructive to immigrants, if some news reports are to be believed.

If you want to live this side of the Atlantic, I'd look first at the Irish Republic.  My impression is that it is a far more open and outgoing country than the UK at the moment.  I have looked at the possibility of getting an Irish passport myself, but I can't find any suitably proximate relatives, unfortunately.

For me, a little house on the hillside of a Greek island, overlooking the Med and with a taverna round the corner seems ideal.  I can even get by with the language.  But it now seems a rather more difficult proposition, unless sanity returns.  I'm not holding my breath.

[older]

12 hours ago, TheRedneckProfessor said:

However, in my experience as an old country boy, the grass is only greener over the septic tank.

Being the owner of a septic tank, I can vouch for the accuracy of that statement!

[Lost]

Thank You All for Your advices and Your perspective on this subject  And thank You for Your time to reply to my thread

 

Future will show if I will ever go abroad. But yeah, I am jealous that for other people moving abroad or traveling abroad is so easy. In many cases they have someone to support them and help in that process.

 

I had only an opportunity to travel once to my cousin and her family to Northallerton (North Yorkshire in the UK) for 2 weeks during summer in 2017. To be honest, If my dad wouldn't ask my aunt ( my cousin's mother) to take me there, I don't know if they would ever welcome me in their house on their own. They took me to Whitby (I saw a Dracula's castle, which in reality was a monk's church or something like that...but those graves and the whole atmosphere there gave me special emotions). I had to take some photos, although there was a suggestion to respect people who rest there in graves and their family. And I saw a North Sea and big white birds.

My aunt and my cousin were complaning about me being sad and serious on the face and that I don't have a boyfriend although I am in my 20's, but yeah my whole identity is broken and my spiritual values are gone, so for now I don't really give much of a though to relationships. I don't know if I could live with a person all the time forever and ever. I said to them that I'm going to be in a relationship and having babies in my 40's and that really  pissed them off.

 

So I would say that my first journey abroad wasn't with right people, but I am glad that I had a opportunity to travel to England before Brexit and I tried to talk to people using an English accent during my walks alone on the streets of a small Northallerton, but people seemed to be bored or were saying "Sorry" if accidently  they touched my shoulder and I kind of smiled laudly when one guy in the shop said to me "Madam", cause I am not used to to this special treatment. Ladies in bank, post or travel agency were nice though.

 

But when someone goes to England it's not surprising to not to think about great London. I'm thinking about one day trip to London before Brexit, but  I don't know how to plan it and come back home safe without problems.

 

Me and my dad, since my mum's death in 2002 tend to separate and isolate from the rest of the family. That's why we didn't have an opportunity to build a strong bond with most of the family. Sometimes we are just like: 'Fuck You all, you haven't been there when we were in a grief and in a need, so fuck You'. My mum was the one that had a gift to unite the family and had a spirit that spread a warmth to everyone's soul. Me and my dad we like to work on our own, we like to be independent and we like to loners. But it doesn't mean that we don't yearn for love that we once felt more in life.

 

Cities in my country like Cracow or Warsaw (or even more that I haven't seen before) are also great and have lots of tourists and English-speaking people there, so maybe it will be an alternative option to move there if my dream about US or UK won't come true.

 

Thank You for Your suggestions about Ireland and Canada, I will think about that

 

But, yeah...I forgot. It's difficult for me to move out anywhere, even to bigger city in my country, because of my huge debts, caused by shopping addiction (as a coping mechanism during the process of deconversion or rather as a bad side of my personality and spoilt attitude towards life). No excuses. I need to pay for my addiction and fix it. No one will do this instead of me.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

Through the years we have traveled the USA, Mexico, and Canada.  Canada several times.  If we were young again, and didn't have the ties we have in Kansas, USA, we would definitely consider moving to Canada.  The USA is being overrun by "me" oriented narcissists.

[older]

On 1/30/2019 at 7:32 PM, Weezer said:

The USA is being overrun by "me" oriented narcissists.

 

I wonder if the internet has contributed to this worldwide. I see Facebook and Instagram as just a huge "all about me" thing.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

On 2/1/2019 at 9:19 PM, older said:

 

I wonder if the internet has contributed to this worldwide. I see Facebook and Instagram as just a huge "all about me" thing.

 

I told my wife facebook should be called mebook.

[Aries256]

Ive felt that way about Iceland, Russia, Hungary and Poland. However all and all cannot beat the USA

[Lost]

I'm sort of depressed guys.

 

Recently I got to conclusion that it will be really difficult for me to move to England in the future, because of some consequences related to my debts. I have them 90 % in 'non-bank' companies (loans that You can take through the Internet, getting money directly on Your bank account with out need of a traditional bank).

 

For now, I got calls from debt collectors, because I don't pay to these companies any money from February 2019. I'm afraid that one day a bailiff will knock my home's doors.

 

Luckily, as I found out, debts are the part of a civil law, but unfortunately if a particular loan will accuse me of extortion of a loan or money, that is a part of criminal law.

 

In medical fields, like in my case Nursing, when someone goes abroad employers want a potential candidate for a worker to show certificate of no criminal record.

 

I guess my shopaholism addiction (that caused my debts) fucked up my future forever. 

 

Maybe there will be no accusations related to extortion of a loan, but just a bailiff. But a man or a woman who is the one takes 50% of an income from a bank account and it makes anything harder to save the money for personal goals, but to just live on a minimum scale

 

So that's how Brexit ruined my dreams to move to England and most of ALL- me, myself, because of my stupid addiction.

 

Do You have some friends from abroad that came to work to Your country despite problems with debts and bailiff? And if You have, how it all ended up for them?

[older]

Well, you know that the thing to do is to clear this debt. If you can't afford a lawyer, look for free legal services. There are free legal clinics in most places that can give you some advice.

[sdelsolray]

I'm not sure what country you are in, but you might want to investigate its bankruptcy laws.  Often, they can help immensely in getting that debt behind you.

[Wertbag]

My ex was shopping addicted and got herself so far in debt that she had to declare bankruptcy. That did clear her debt, the bank claims it against insurance and you get a range of restrictions put on you. Those will differ depending on where you are, but in her case she can't get another loan (including a mortgage), can run a business, can't get a money handling job and will fail a credit check that anyone runs on her. Still seemed a light punishment to me. 

[Lost]

Hi !   

 

I would like to make a little update in this thread.

 

Well, in August 2019 I have had an opportunity to visit my older niece and her boyfriend in Bath, Somerset in the UK for 5 days.  I traveled by plane with my younger niece (sister of my older niece). Also, I have visited London for the first time in my life. For me the most exciting place was Trafalgar Square and China Town. Unfortunately Big Ben is now covered, because of renovation.

 

To sum up, in 2017 I was able to be in the North part of England and in 2019 I traveled to South England. Cool!

 

My niece tried to convince me to come to work in Bath, because I have lots of debts in Poland (caused by my shopaholic addiction as I mentioned before). But it's weird that as much as I fantasize about moving to England for many years, when I was there only for 5 days I actually panicked and even cried once. I guess, I was homesick and I was afraid, that something is going to happen to my 67 years old dad, when I leave him alone in Poland. I felt anxiety when I imagined living and working in the UK alone and paying rent and additional costs of living on my own. I don't know, if there would be that much left for my debts in Poland after paying all the bills. And also there is the whole Brexit thing. I found myself afraid of liberal society as England is, I guess because I am not completely get over my loss of faith in God.

 

I am stupid, because on one hand I would like to at least try to live in the UK for a while, but in the same time it causes in me irrational fear of being completely left behind abroad. Maybe it's because I am a shy introvert and I depend on my dad, who raised me as a single father and I am afraid to lose the only person, who truly loves me.

I don't know, how will I survive without both parents one day, although I am 26 years old. Further family don't care that much about me like my dad. I would like to repair my mistake related to debts and support him financially, but with my anxiety it would be hard to collect 50 000 pounds to end nightmare with my debts in Poland.

 

My future seems to be too overwhelming. Sigh.

 

In 2016 I graduated from Medical University with a title of Licensed Nurse. I should be much more brave, than I am.

 

From July 2018, I work in McDonald's, but I think about quitting that job. Finally, I should start working as a nurse.

 

Recently, I have called to two work agencies in Warsaw, that help to apply for a job in the UK as care assistant or nurse's assistant in Nursing Home. Costs of living are cheaper, when You rent a single room inside Nursing Home or near it, but I don't believe in it that much. Anyway, I'm going to give it a try and challenge my homesickness and anxiety and try to apply for that job with a help of UK employer, maybe in Somerset, near to my niece.

As I have heard from people from work agencies, European care assistants and nurses are going to be accepted in the UK to work, to take care of elderly people, even after Brexit. But who knows it for 100 %, if there will be no-deal.

 

I would like to ask someone here, who lives in the UK:

 

'How much money does a single person really need to have per month to survive in the UK?'

and

'For what You have to pay additionally in the UK except rent and food and how much?'

 

Thanks for reading  

[older]

A quote that helped me at times:

 

Start where you are.

Use what you have.

Do what you can.

     — Arthur Ashe