SerenelyBlue

How do I shake the feeling that I am courting the devil?

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I have recently discovered Nirvana on spotify.  I am listening to them on and off, but I can't shake the feeling that I am listening to devil's music.  I know the devil is a myth.  But can't help feeling guilty.

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Perhaps you should sacrifice a baby and see if it feels right.

 

 

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Just keep listening. No bolt of lightening will consume you. I used to have the same problems listening to Sabaton and Nightwish when I was deconverting. Once you realise hell, the devil etc are all human made up shit you lose the fear. The Bible says something to the effect fear not he who can harm the body, but he who can harm the soul. What a load of bullshit! Someone coming at you with a sword is a real reason to fear. An imaginary bad guy in a lake of fire is just a control device... a very good one I might add. Kim's brainwashing regime has nothing on religion.

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2 hours ago, SerenelyBlue said:

I have recently discovered Nirvana on spotify.  I am listening to them on and off, but I can't shake the feeling that I am listening to devil's music.  I know the devil is a myth.  But can't help feeling guilty.

 

Either stop listening to it or stop feeling guilty about listening to it.

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2 minutes ago, midniterider said:

Either stop listening to it or stop feeling guilty about listening to it.

What fun would that be?

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I think the answer to this is death metal. After a few weeks of Cannibal Corpse, Nirvana will seem fucking angellic.

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9 minutes ago, florduh said:

What fun would that be?

 

Unfortunately it might rob someone of their guilt. 

 

So i retract my prior post. :)

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1 hour ago, disillusioned said:

I think the answer to this is death metal. After a few weeks of Cannibal Corpse, Nirvana will seem fucking angellic.

Or Lamb of God.  They're christian, right? 

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As I recall from when I was fresh from deconversion I was always constantly plagued by guilt. Actually, the feeling guilt came from before the deconversion, so there was no freedom from it even if I stayed in the confined of the religion. I kept rationalizing why I was feeling guilty and finding reasons for why it's one thing or another thing that I'm doing that's wrong and making me feel guilty. There was no end to it. Eventually I realized it wasn't anything particular that was making me feel guilt ; guilt was a feeling instilled in me deliberately so that an authority figure can use it as leverage whenever he wanted. Once I broke from that authority the guilt persisted because it wasn't attached to anything ; it was an artificially instilled feeling. Like a lot of repressed feelings I found other ways to process and channel it so that I eventually healed over time.

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Thank you for the advice.  I'll listen to some heavier stuff and give residual indoctrination the middle finger.

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How about this...

Go fuck yourself.

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On 1/28/2019 at 1:16 PM, SerenelyBlue said:

I have recently discovered Nirvana on spotify.  I am listening to them on and off, but I can't shake the feeling that I am listening to devil's music.  I know the devil is a myth.  But can't help feeling guilty.

 

Ah yes, that delicious feel like you are doing something wrong but yet it's still kind of fun to feel like you are breaking some kind of rule. I'd say embrace it. Imagine that maybe you are courting the devil. Just don't forget that he is just a myth and that all you are doing is overcoming your own biases. But it's ok to "be bad" for awhile so long as it's nothing too illegal. ;) 

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47 minutes ago, Dexter said:

 

Ah yes, that delicious feel like you are doing something wrong but yet it's still kind of fun to feel like you are breaking some kind of rule. I'd say embrace it. Imagine that maybe you are courting the devil. Just don't forget that he is just a myth and that all you are doing is overcoming your own biases. But it's ok to "be bad" for awhile so long as it's nothing too illegal. ;) 

 

I’m inclined to agree with Dexter’s approach. It’s as likely to work for you as any other.  Some people, while not having a literal belief in the devil or Satan, use the concept as a sign of resistance to the cruel god of the Bible (especially the genocidal OT god) and as a symbol of preferring reason over faith.  You could embrace that concept of the devil and enjoy the music. Just don’t take it too seriously.  Come to think of it, it’s probably a good life philosophy to not take things too seriously in general. 

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3 hours ago, Dexter said:

 

Ah yes, that delicious feel like you are doing something wrong but yet it's still kind of fun to feel like you are breaking some kind of rule. I'd say embrace it. Imagine that maybe you are courting the devil. Just don't forget that he is just a myth and that all you are doing is overcoming your own biases. But it's ok to "be bad" for awhile so long as it's nothing too illegal. ;) 

Ditto...I couldn't have said it better :)

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7 hours ago, SerenelyBlue said:

How about this...

Go fuck yourself.

Not Nice, @SerenelyBlue.

 

@Burnedout was just trying to assist you. 

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On 1/29/2019 at 2:24 PM, Burnedout said:

How about this....

 

GO GET SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP!  None of us on here can help you.  Really!  We don't dislike you or even want to diss you, but you have some real problems that NONE of us on here can solve.  Please,  for your own sanity.  

Thanks for trying but we've been here many times before to no avail.

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On 1/28/2019 at 11:16 AM, SerenelyBlue said:

I have recently discovered Nirvana on spotify.  I am listening to them on and off, but I can't shake the feeling that I am listening to devil's music.  I know the devil is a myth.  But can't help feeling guilty.

 

Music often generates emotional responses in listeners (and performers too).  These emotional responses depend on the music itself (melodic, harmonic, rhythmic and (when present) lyric content) and the listener's current state of mind.  One listener might feel little or no response, another might feel happy and another might feel sad, for the same song.

 

Your emotional reaction to listening to Nirvana for the first time(s) is not surprising because (i) the music itself contains angst, repetitive motifs in minor keys, a simple driving rhythm and plaintive lyrics and (ii) you were previously fully infected with a rather virulent strain of the Christian God Virus from which you are still recovering.  I'm not surprised at all that your emotional response when listening to Nirvana for the first time(s) cause you to think of the Christian Satan character and to feel guilt.  Indeed, that is likely a quite normal response for many folks.

 

As an experiment, I suggest the following:

 

1)  Listen to the following music and see what emotional responses, if any, you experience:

 

     a)  Brandenburg Concerto No. 5 by J.S. Bach;

 

     b)  Aerial Boundaries by Michael Hedges;

 

     c)  1983 by The Jimi Hendrix Experience (from the Electric Ladyland album); and

 

     d)  The Rite of Spring by Igor Stravinsky.

 

There are thousands of other choices which could be used for this experiment.  Still, I think these works will work.

 

2)  Listen without distraction, in a space and at a time you can devote solely to music listening.  You can turn down the lights and even close your eyes while listening.  It also helps if you listen on a decent playback system at a reasonable volume (not too soft and not too loud).

 

Let us know what emotional reactions, if any, you had while listening.

 

 

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14 hours ago, SerenelyBlue said:

How about this...

Go fuck yourself.

 

Hey, at least you have some ego left!  Your response gave me a chuckle. 

 

Keep listening to the music until you get so tired of it, you don't want to hear it anymore.

 

Edit:  or is this whole thing a joke?

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16 hours ago, florduh said:
On ‎1‎/‎29‎/‎2019 at 11:24 AM, Burnedout said:

How about this....

 

GO GET SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP!  None of us on here can help you.  Really!  We don't dislike you or even want to diss you, but you have some real problems that NONE of us on here can solve.  Please,  for your own sanity.  

Thanks for trying but we've been here many times before to no avail.

 

Just a thought. I have been reading the NUMEROUS postings over the years!!  and realizing the many hours many of you have invested responding to SB..... Is it possible that SB is a troll that just pops in every few weeks/months to stir everyone up again and get this endless merry go round spinning round and round. Leaves for awhile and then returns and does it again. And then again. And again. With NO positive progress or change... just more insanity and madness.  Maybe we are all being "played" and as long as people keep responding the "games" continue. Try ignoring SB. You are wasting your precious time WITH NO POSITIVE BENEFIT OR OUTCOME OR CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. Numerous times it has been suggested that professional help needs to be sought. And it never is. The prof help has been suggested to many other posters on this sight and they do so, or at least stop their endless, never ending merry go round postings. And their posts show some change and improvement. But NOT with SB. Think I am being hard and cold? Just go back and read ALL of SB's posts and look at the pattern.. definitely looks like a TROLL gaming with us!

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10 hours ago, NeverHealed52Years said:

 Just go back and read ALL of SB's posts and look at the pattern.. definitely looks like a TROLL gaming with us!

 

Guess I was suckered in.  Wasn't aware of history.

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On 1/28/2019 at 2:16 PM, SerenelyBlue said:

I have recently discovered Nirvana on spotify.  I am listening to them on and off, but I can't shake the feeling that I am listening to devil's music.  I know the devil is a myth.  But can't help feeling guilty.

 

I grew up with Nirvana. They were one of my favorite bands and I was caught up in the grunge phase as a teen. But after a decade of church and not listening to the music I loved as a teenager. I also had the same guilt when I started listening to them again.

     Don’t worry. Just keep listening and those feelings will wear away. I listen to all the old music from the 90s that I love now. It is just a symptom of the brainwashing you have endured. It takes time to reprogram yourself. 

 

DB

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I am not a troll. My posts are genuine.  I do not need professional help when I share how my music taste brings out indoctrination of old.

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14 hours ago, DarkBishop said:

 

I grew up with Nirvana. They were one of my favorite bands and I was caught up in the grunge phase as a teen. But after a decade of church and not listening to the music I loved as a teenager. I also had the same guilt when I started listening to them again.

     Don’t worry. Just keep listening and those feelings will wear away. I listen to all the old music from the 90s that I love now. It is just a symptom of the brainwashing you have endured. It takes time to reprogram yourself. 

 

DB

Thank you DB

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You are labeling a genuinely bipolar individual a troll.  My posts are earnest and there is positive change.  I deconverted as a result of this website.

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