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mrspearl

My Last Beating

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So happy that you got away from the cult. :)

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Glad you found your way out MrsPearl. Church is one of the strongholds of male dominion/oppression throughout the world. So. Much. Abuse. And all done in the name of Jesus, which makes it worse for those that think he's real.

And as you discovered, there are women who are complicit with that abuse. Some of them look for kudos from the dominant males, others just like to participate in abuse because it makes them feel powerful (like the men).

The men think they are led by "the Spirit" to do stupid shit to people, and I saw nice women reduced to shaking tears by accusations of homosexuality and more (a big deal to fundies), accusations that were untrue. But the men never apologized, they just assumed they were right because of their position. Religion is a disgusting tribal relic, a mere cult that claims to represent "love". Some of us here hope to help inoculate the public by exposing the church mindset.

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Glad you got out. And welcome to the site.

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Best wishes for healing. I have found that this doesn’t come from churches or Christian therapists. It’s a hard road but you are worth it. 

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6 hours ago, mrspearl said:

This woman is not vulnerable and refuses to be a part of any group or system that treats people like they are "less than" for any reason. 

 

Full confidence in yourself.  Empathy for others.  And Intelligence.

 

You have all you need to fully live the rest of your singular life to its best.  It is going to be awesome.

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19 hours ago, mrspearl said:

The woman I am today, post-church, would never allow herself to be mistreated like the church woman I used to be.  This woman is not vulnerable and refuses to be a part of any group or system that treats people like they are "less than" for any reason.  I love the new freedom and life I have found since this horrendous event. 

 

This! This makes me so happy -- for you, and for any girl or woman who'll read this and need to hear this to be able to make it out of their very own versions of male dominated cults. We can all do this. We're not less, we're not to be dominated by anyone, and above all, there' s absolutely no need to "submit"!

 

Thank you so much for telling part of your story, mrspearl. Also, your writing is beautiful and powerful.

 

How did your journey out continue? How did you rebuild your life?

 

I have a friend who got a divorce and left the church, too, and  nearly nobody ever asked or talked about her anymore. We're still close 17 years later and she's strong like a rock. We're now laughing about the craziness and the ridiculousness of it all. And I sometimes feel sorry for all those who never left and stil think they know it all.

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Damn. Thank you for sharing that story with us. It's completely out of line for them to interrogate you like that - church leader or not.

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Thanks so much for all the kind words.  It means a lot to me.  Offtheromanroad, I am doing fantastic.  I'm a totally different person than I was when this event happened.  The further I get from religion, the healthier and happier I become.  I was able to move out of Texas to Illinois which has helped a lot.  Somehow I stumbled upon Mrs. Winell's book, Leaving the Fold, and it helped me realize the depth of the trauma I experienced.  I'm currently working with a therapist, as well as reading and journaling to continue my recovery.  My parents are still very religious and, just in normal conversation, use so many religious phrases that trigger me.  I am currently working on dealing with that.  They are elderly and aren't changing, so I'm trying to find a nice balance of communication so I'm not agitated just talking to them.

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Welcome to ExC. your better off now. 

 

DB

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19 hours ago, mrspearl said:

Thanks so much for all the kind words.  It means a lot to me.  Offtheromanroad, I am doing fantastic.  I'm a totally different person than I was when this event happened.  The further I get from religion, the healthier and happier I become.  I was able to move out of Texas to Illinois which has helped a lot.  Somehow I stumbled upon Mrs. Winell's book, Leaving the Fold, and it helped me realize the depth of the trauma I experienced.  I'm currently working with a therapist, as well as reading and journaling to continue my recovery.  My parents are still very religious and, just in normal conversation, use so many religious phrases that trigger me.  I am currently working on dealing with that.  They are elderly and aren't changing, so I'm trying to find a nice balance of communication so I'm not agitated just talking to them.

Thanks for answering. Seems like you are thriving and working on things that have remained difficult, which is a great approach.

If I may ask, what branch of the "fold" do your parents adhere to?

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You're an inspiration mrspearl! You should be very proud of yourself. You have handled your bad situation perfectly! Is't it noteworthy how turning down that $300 a week that you needed so desperately at the time paid you such such huge dividends in terms of your selfrespect and resolve to succeed on your own. It's so good to hear how well you're doing. Glad to have you here with us and hopefully being part of our community will facilitate your continuing recovery. Thank you for participating on our site which I'm sure offers hope to others who find themselves in difficult situations.

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7 hours ago, offtheromanroad said:

f I may ask, what branch of the "fold" do your parents adhere to?

My parents are still in the assemblies of god.  It is charismatic/Pentecostal.

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It takes a really strong person to overcome what you have, @mrspearl!

 

The propensity for those at the top of the churcy food chain to be self-serving pricks makes it quite clear why religions were invented in the first place. 

 

On 2/1/2019 at 1:26 PM, mrspearl said:

an African man named Brainwave

...

On 2/1/2019 at 1:26 PM, mrspearl said:

kept yelling “can you submit?”

 

Unbefreaknlievalbe!

 

This is what happens when you take tiny little men and make them think they actually are something because of an invisible sky daddy. 

 

"Wile E. Coyote , Super Genius!" :jerkit:

 

 

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I reckon I had better clarify my last post - sighting all the beatings being administered over the black-face thing.

 

When I said "tiny little men" I meant those whose only claim to anything was their association with Jebus - NOT a racial reference. 

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5 hours ago, mrspearl said:

My parents are still in the assemblies of god.  It is charismatic/Pentecostal.

 

Is this any relation to the church of god of the union assembly/ or gospel assembly? 

 

I was was an ordained bishop in The church of God of the gospel assembly. 

 

DB

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12 hours ago, DarkBishop said:

 

Is this any relation to the church of god of the union assembly/ or gospel assembly? 

 

I was was an ordained bishop in The church of God of the gospel assembly

 

DB

 

There is a church of god that is similar.  It would compare to United Pentecostal, full gospel, or charismatic.  They speak in tongues and have very strict rules regarding people’s personal life choices.  

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20 hours ago, mrspearl said:

My parents are still in the assemblies of god.  It is charismatic/Pentecostal.

 

Well I guess you'd hope they'd only speak in tongues to you when it comes to Je-sus so you wouldn't understand what they are saying... 😉

 

On a more serious note: It must be so difficult to communicate with them, ignoring or dealing with all the Bible/"spiritual" talk they throw your way.

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1 hour ago, mrspearl said:

 

There is a church of god that is similar.  It would compare to United Pentecostal, full gospel, or charismatic.  They speak in tongues and have very strict rules regarding people’s personal life choices.  

Sounds a lot like my old church.

 

DB

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On a more serious note: It must be so difficult to communicate with them, ignoring or dealing with all the Bible/"spiritual" talk they throw your way.

 

Yes, it really is.  They’re more subtle about it than in my face, which helps somewhat. I’m working on those churchy phrases being just words I can ignore rather than triggers that bring up hurt and anger.  My folks are old and dealing with health issues, so I don’t want to put anything else on them, such as telling them I have totally left their faith.  They would be broken-hearted.  That’s why getting support from this group is so important to me.❤️

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It’s hard to balance other people’s needs for the church’s support against what we need during  De-conversion. So glad you’ve found a helpful therapist! That was key for me. Best wishes. 

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Welcome Mrs.Pearl! 

 

Typical assholes, the whole lot. Pastor not withstanding. At least you figured it out. It's one of those things that people have to figure out on their own. I've been watching a lot of Star Wars fan vids on youtube recently concerning episode 9, and fan theories. And they keep using the term, "canon." Such and such would make good sense for the next film because it's, "canon." 

 

And that's really it. That's a contemporary, real time example of how a complete fiction can become "canon," with what are considered "non-canon" little spin off's. The bible is Star Wars, the "canons," are the same. These assholes in church administrative counsels are nothing more than the equivalent of Stars Wars fans, where, they own or rent a facility, appoint leadership roles within the fan group, and use transcription of a fiction to dictate life to the fan club. All the arguments amount to the same thing as arguing about Stars Wars. What is a proper interpretation of a complete fiction. With some of the biggest assholes within the fan club at it's helm. 

 

On 2/1/2019 at 4:26 PM, mrspearl said:

Just when I thought it was over, an African man named Brainwave stood up and began pointing his finger at me. 

 

Third world church members tend to be some of the most legalistic, I've found. As well as misogynistic. But seriously, "brainwave?" I can only imagine. At least you realized what BS the whole thing actually is and got out. Good on you. 

 

 

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On 2/1/2019 at 1:26 PM, mrspearl said:

Wish I could hug you right now. 

 

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