PTSD from religion exposure

[Myrkhoos]

Yes, well maybe not the best word as I am not a clinician but going through therapy has showed me that religion just added tremendously to my fear and anxiety to the point of becomibg insane.

           The extreme pressure to conform or else, the interpretation of nu normal feelins like anger fear sadness jealousy or hapiness as either demonic or heavenly causing a fracture in my personality, the blunt demand for obedience, the rejection if my suffering, the cognitive dissonance of a loving patents who shows how love by giving me pain and that trials and tribulations are a sign of a great love and feeling good a sign of being abandoned my god, the lies about church history and the libes of saints, the big number of psychologycally ill people in the church, the wanting me to be just like a child and believe naively like a child, the mental gymnastic theologian writers maje, the dangerous idealism and denial of reality and living in imagination, these left scars that only now I can feel. I searched for guidance acceptance love and growth and got the opposite and for six years the church was like hell for me 95 percent of the time.  The it is a sin to defend yourself and protect yourself part and you are supposed just to take and turn the other cheek.The scars are deep and massive and I am shocked to see how my experience in these vsrious religious communities I was transformed a sensutive trubled and naive young 22 young man in an almost lunatic trying to fulfill unrealistic standards. 

    I guess that there are numerous religious people who feel rather consoled and supported by their belief system and community.  Not my case whatsoever.