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Markus

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Hello everyone I new to forum my name is Markus and l am a ex Christian I just wanted to ask for a newcomer is there any advice you would have for any new ex Christian because sometimes it hard because my family does not understand my position on Christianity

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The most important thing that I can say is that they probably never will understand your position and it's unlikely that you will ever be able to change their minds about it, either. Only they can do that for themselves, if they ever begin to doubt and question their beliefs.

 

The best things you can do for yourself are to keep learning as much as you can, so that you have facts on your side, in the event that you are ever backed into a corner, and to find a way to be at peace with yourself. The second can be a difficult thing to do, for those who were deep into Christianity when they had their eyes opened and everything fell apart. I don't really know enough about your particular situation to offer more advise than that, so I hope it helps.

 

With that said, welcome to ex-C! You're on the dark side now, so enjoy the cookies! We have lots! :Duivel:

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You need to give us more information about your situation. If you are in a dependent relationship wherein some family members have some measure of control over you (financial, housing, etc.) that is different from if you are independent from them and only need to deal with the issues from a distance or intermittently.

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It would help if you would give a brief description of yourself and your situation.

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Welcome Markus!

 

Crazy guy actually isn't so crazy, I think he hit the nail on the head.

 

One of the most frustrating but important things to accept is that committed Christians will not and cannot understand you nor be convinced of the correctness of your position no matter how much perfect logic you use or how many facts you have on your side - that is because their belief is reinforced by many many walls of rationalization and emotional, psychological, and social necessity.

 

I spent a good two years trying as graciously and thoroughly as possible not to deconvert those around me but just to at least get them to see then I had some very legitimate reasons for doubting.  I couldn't even get that far!

 

I agree with crazy guy learn as much as you can and have peace within your own self.  This journey will require a lot of inner strength - but the good news is you wouldn't have come this far already if you didn't possess that inner strength.

 

All the best to you

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On 5/4/2019 at 10:38 PM, Insightful said:

Welcome Markus!

 

Crazy guy actually isn't so crazy, I think he hit the nail on the head.

 

One of the most frustrating but important things to accept is that committed Christians will not and cannot understand you nor be convinced of the correctness of your position no matter how much perfect logic you use or how many facts you have on your side - that is because their belief is reinforced by many many walls of rationalization and emotional, psychological, and social necessity.

 

I spent a good two years trying as graciously and thoroughly as possible not to deconvert those around me but just to at least get them to see then I had some very legitimate reasons for doubting.  I couldn't even get that far!

 

I agree with crazy guy learn as much as you can and have peace within your own self.  This journey will require a lot of inner strength - but the good news is you wouldn't have come this far already if you didn't possess that inner strength.

 

All the best to you

I.e. they're nuts and you're not.

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  • Super Moderator

Welcome to Ex-C!

 

Yes, the Christian problem.......

 

Well, they play by their own rules, use their own "facts," and employ a peculiar logic. Many times, the best one can expect is an uneasy peace.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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On 5/4/2019 at 12:21 PM, Markus said:

Hello everyone I new to forum my name is Markus and l am a ex Christian I just wanted to ask for a newcomer is there any advice you would have for any new ex Christian because sometimes it hard because my family does not understand my position on Christianity

 

Welcome Markus. 

 

I don't know, read around. Check out ex christian life and see how a lot of other ex christians are dealing with their families. We all have different situations going on with our families. My family is majority non-believer at this point. With a few stragglers that don't seem to understand why everyone else quit. My wife's family is similar. All her brothers are agnostic and non-believers. Only her aging parents are left as believers. But they act out from time to time. Go off on tirades. Wonder what's wrong with everyone else. The usual. 

 

You can read through a lot of similar situations in ex christian life. 

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Thanks for all the replies it feels so good to talk it people that are like minded I am going to give you a detail it conversations with some of my family members about 3 yrs ago I told my mom that I do not believe in Christianity anymore and she said that I was weak minded and I you cannot believe in God if you don't believe in Christ my brother who still is a Christian does understand my position but he is not judgemental at all any of you guys have any book recommendations to newcomer

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On May 4, 2019 at 2:43 PM, crazyguy123 said:

....so enjoy the cookies! We have lots! :Duivel:

Just be careful of the brownies, especially if they're made in Canada...weed is legal up here now 😛

Oh...and welcome :)

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@Markus,

 

Welcome to Ex-C. I hope you stick around and read/post more.

 

You are now in the company of like minded folk which, usually,  provides a modicum of comfort knowing you are not alone. 

 

As far as @crazyguy123's comment about the "dark side" goes - I would say that you are now in the light. That light is wisdom, logic, reason, and the kicker - thinking on your own!

 

I have a personal request regarding future posts from you. At the risk of sounding like an anal-retentive, pedantic dickhead, it would be of value for you to include some punctuation in your posts and replies. Not that mine are perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but that would make your posts clearer and easier to understand. :thanks:

    - MOHO (Mind Of His Own)

 

 

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On 5/4/2019 at 12:21 PM, Markus said:

Hello everyone I new to forum my name is Markus and l am a ex Christian I just wanted to ask for a newcomer is there any advice you would have for any new ex Christian because sometimes it hard because my family does not understand my position on Christianity

My advice is that it's not your job to fix your parents or to persuade incorrigible people. You made it out of the brainwashing intact and cudos for that! My other advice is to make sure you give yourself credit for these acts of courage on your part, because other people will not always give it the recognition it deserves.

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