UBU4U Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 Hello everyone, I am frankly a bit amazed that I am even typing this, for reasons that - let's see - oh I almost forgot I'm not supposed to be here. A trumpet might sound? (Actually I am struggling quite a bit,, for reasons known. "Just" tipping my toe in the water, is, uh, a little hard to explain? ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 Please try to explain. That way, we can have a conversation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UBU4U Posted May 5, 2019 Author Share Posted May 5, 2019 42 minutes ago, sdelsolray said: Please try to explain. That way, we can have a conversation. II apologize for that. I'm sort of blocked-up, or "frozen" (still am but not nearly as bad. ) I was/am going from a sense that I was all alone in this world, that I had to carry the entire burden of crushing christianity to save everyone and all at one time. (I was willing to "take the bullet" if necessary to give christianity the pounding it /finally/ deserved. Whew. It has had it's grip on ME just a tad to long and I have to protect us all. This is still all very awkward, and very socially awkward. I feel I have to say and do and 'fix' everything that is wrong in the world. I reside in a particular high-density source the Ass of God. I'm feeling as though I can't say what's on my mind for fear of repercussions. I feel as though I have to say "awe, shucks" instead of god fucking damn it. It's an unnecessary concern for saying the right/wrong thing. Saying this much is not exact;y easy, and for all I know I am not making any sense at this moment. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geezer Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 7 hours ago, UBU4U said: Hello everyone, I am frankly a bit amazed that I am even typing this, for reasons that - let's see - oh I almost forgot I'm not supposed to be here. A trumpet might sound? (Actually I am struggling quite a bit,, for reasons known. "Just" tipping my toe in the water, is, uh, a little hard to explain? ) Nope, we get it. Been there done that ..... got the tee shirt. Welcome, consider this your new home. Leaving your faith is one of the most difficult things anyone will ever do. Lots of help and good information here to help re-enforce your doubt. Most of the folks here know more about Christianity, and it’s false teaching, than those faithful Christians that fill up the pews every Sunday. Take some time and just read the board. So much good information on this site but it takes some time to absorb even a little bit of it. Many of the folks here have been studying and researching the origins and evolution of the Bible and the Christian faith for years. Some are former Preachers, Elders, Deacons, Bishops, & Christian educators with graduate level degrees in theology. Welcome aboard, so glad your found this site. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lerk Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 On 5/5/2019 at 2:18 PM, UBU4U said: I'm feeling as though I can't say what's on my mind for fear of repercussions. As Geezer says, a lot of us know exactly where you're coming from! Welcome aboard. You can say it all here! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 On 5/5/2019 at 12:18 PM, UBU4U said: II apologize for that. I'm sort of blocked-up, or "frozen" (still am but not nearly as bad. ) I was/am going from a sense that I was all alone in this world, that I had to carry the entire burden of crushing christianity to save everyone and all at one time. (I was willing to "take the bullet" if necessary to give christianity the pounding it /finally/ deserved. Whew. It has had it's grip on ME just a tad to long and I have to protect us all. This is still all very awkward, and very socially awkward. I feel I have to say and do and 'fix' everything that is wrong in the world. I reside in a particular high-density source the Ass of God. I'm feeling as though I can't say what's on my mind for fear of repercussions. I feel as though I have to say "awe, shucks" instead of god fucking damn it. It's an unnecessary concern for saying the right/wrong thing. Saying this much is not exact;y easy, and for all I know I am not making any sense at this moment. Thanks. I've noticed two issues when moving away from a religion. The first involves your own internal intellectual and emotional thoughts and feelings. The second deals with peer pressure from those around you, many of whom were also indoctrinated into the particular religion. Internal awareness usually happens first, often in secret. The peer pressure usually follows and is often the more difficult and time consuming aspect to deal with. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derek Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 On May 5, 2019 at 4:48 PM, UBU4U said: II apologize for that. I'm sort of blocked-up, or "frozen" (still am but not nearly as bad. ) I was/am going from a sense that I was all alone in this world, that I had to carry the entire burden of crushing christianity to save everyone and all at one time. (I was willing to "take the bullet" if necessary to give christianity the pounding it /finally/ deserved. Whew. It has had it's grip on ME just a tad to long and I have to protect us all. This is still all very awkward, and very socially awkward. I feel I have to say and do and 'fix' everything that is wrong in the world. I reside in a particular high-density source the Ass of God. I'm feeling as though I can't say what's on my mind for fear of repercussions. I feel as though I have to say "awe, shucks" instead of god fucking damn it. It's an unnecessary concern for saying the right/wrong thing. Saying this much is not exact;y easy, and for all I know I am not making any sense at this moment. Take your time...you're just dipping your toe in, as you said, but before long you'll be swimming. Welcome aboard...we're all friends here 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
older Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 On 5/5/2019 at 12:18 PM, UBU4U said: I'm feeling as though I can't say what's on my mind for fear of repercussions. Welcome, UBU4U. Let 'er rip. 5 hours ago, sdelsolray said: [P]eer pressure from those around you, many of whom were also indoctrinated into the particular religion. Internal awareness usually happens first, often in secret. The peer pressure usually follows and is often the more difficult and time consuming aspect to deal with. Oh yeah. Peer pressure can be a major issue. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 7, 2019 Super Moderator Share Posted May 7, 2019 Welcome aboard! Not knowing much about your journey all I can say is be true to yourself. Often, that simple act comes with consequences, none of which are of your doing. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Joshpantera Posted May 23, 2019 Moderator Share Posted May 23, 2019 Welcome UB40, err, UBU4U! I went through a similar phase concerning SDAism. I felt like upon learning it's filthy secrets I was someone how charged with bringing it down to rubble! That eventually passed. In that I stopped caring about trying to raze it. I think it's a common reaction to learning that what you thought was absolutely true, is not true. The rest follows...... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOHO Posted May 23, 2019 Share Posted May 23, 2019 Welcome to Ex-C, @UBU4U, Many of us have experienced all of what you are experiencing now. You're not alone. You may experience fear and doubt about your feelings for a bit but, little by little, you will think your way out of the indoctrination and mind-control. More and more you will think on your own be yourself - just as yours and my avatars indicate. - MOHO (Mind Of His Own) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weezer Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 Welcome! Read some of the testimonials and see how you came to the right place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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