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Christians have been stood up


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I get this mental image whenever I hear a Christian say Jesus is coming back, a bachelor desperately waiting by the phone. They had one date with God and thought things went well. At the end of the night He said "yeah, it was great, I'll call you". 

After the first generation or two with no call the Christian started making excuses "well He's just busy, He has a whole universe to look after" and their atheist flatmate just shook his head. 

A few centuries later and their social life has suffered, no longer willing to even talk to other gods and bitterly jealous of others who claim a good relationship. 

The atheist flatmate puts his hand on his shoulder "come on mate, it's been a thousand years, Hes not going to call. How about you and me go out tonight? Plenty more religions in the sea." 

"No" he shouts "He said He will call, it just takes time" 

He starts sending Him prayer text messages. "Hey God, me again. Just wanted to know what you are up to. Haven't heard from you in a couple of millennia, hope you haven't forgotten me."

Finally the flatmate walks out "sorry dude, I can't watch you pining over this guy anymore. I'm off to explore the universe, why don't you come with me?" 

The last thing he hears as he closes the door is the sobbing "Hes coming back..." 

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  • 2 weeks later...
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I always picture a young girl wasting her life away waiting for the guy who promised to marry her to actually do it.



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There's a little Nelson in every Christian.

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On 5/21/2019 at 10:23 PM, JohnnyWishbone said:

There's a little Nelson in every Christian.

     Is that what the kids are calling it these days?  Because this just sounds wrong.




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