Witnessing death, the passing of my father

[RealityCheck]

There is a new development now, that is my mother is starting to lose her mind.  She claimed that my dad came and visited her today, she felt "a heavy presence" upon here.  So yeah, something else for me to worry about.

[JohnnyWishbone]

3 minutes ago, RealityCheck said:

There is a new development now, that is my mother is starting to lose her mind.  She claimed that my dad came and visited her today, she felt "a heavy presence" upon here.  So yeah, something else for me to worry about.

Well, ok, residual memory can create a lot of illusions.

 

If she's saying that based on some religious precept, then you can understand. Because the unfathomable becomes real in the mind of a believer. If she is not a believer, then feel free to discredit everything I have said.

 

[older]

2 hours ago, RealityCheck said:

There is a new development now, that is my mother is starting to lose her mind.  She claimed that my dad came and visited her today, she felt "a heavy presence" upon here.  So yeah, something else for me to worry about.

Having been through a similar situation twice, I would suggest that she is in a state of panic. She will calm down and come out of it, but it may take some time. If she continues to be delusional after a few weeks then I'd get her into a grief group and perhaps some counseling. As anyone who has lost a close family member knows, the notion of "closure" is bogus. We don't just move on. What we do is learn to deal with it.

 

As to the proselytizing and other stuff at the service, the obvious, which you have probably thought of, is to be specific about what you want and what you do not want. And also, under no circumstances have an "open mic" session for folks to share their memories. I've seen this get out of hand and it's hard to control once it's started. I would just encourage folks to share with each other. OTOH if you really want to give folks a chance to contribute, pass out large file cards and have folks write down their thoughts. Then have someone who is in your corner sort through them, picking the ones that are appropriate which can then be read by a moderator (you?). Thus you or the moderator retains control and can end the session when it feels right.

[Lost]

Hey RealityCheck!

 

I want to send You words of compassion from me to You in those hard moments of your life!

 

I don't know how it is to witness death of the father (rather I know how it is to witness dad's struggle with alcoholism), but I know what it's like to lose a mother.

 

Stick to Your wisdom that comes from Your personal experience and be healthy and strong in Your ways of life, whether they are happy or tragic.

 

Lots of peace  

 

Lost