Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted September 26, 2019 Super Moderator Share Posted September 26, 2019 This morning, a colleague sneezed. As is my custom, I held up two fingers, made a slight swirl with my hand (to represent the double helix), and "blessed" him by saying "Science save you." Momentarily, a volley of sneezes were emitted in rapid-fire succession. Whereupon my colleague lamented that science must not work. A third colleague happened by at that juncture and responded "god bless you". As if by some strange miracle of pure coincidence, the fit of expectorance immediately ceased and the afflicted colleague was restored to his former state of health. I now have all the proof I need that religion is true and jesus is real. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derek Posted September 26, 2019 Share Posted September 26, 2019 As I walked from my pickup to my workshop this morning, I prayed that I wouldn't get trampled by a herd of elephants. Guess what....not an elephant to be seen. Isn't gawd great? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator LogicalFallacy Posted September 26, 2019 Moderator Share Posted September 26, 2019 I find a flaw in your hypothesis. Further testing is needed. For example, had you said "may the unicorn's horn be thrust upon you" I would have expected the sneezing to cease, followed by somewhat choking laughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disillusioned Posted September 26, 2019 Share Posted September 26, 2019 9 minutes ago, LogicalFallacy said: ...had you said "may the unicorn's horn be thrust upon you"... This is a family site. Please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator LogicalFallacy Posted September 26, 2019 Moderator Share Posted September 26, 2019 I just sneezed. It's a sign. 2 minutes ago, disillusioned said: This is a family site. Please. How dare you blaspheme the Great Pink Unicorn with your perverse imaginations. You need to be covered in the cuddly thoughts of the Unicorn and have the great horn thrust upon you. Glory to the unicorn. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted September 26, 2019 Author Super Moderator Share Posted September 26, 2019 14 minutes ago, LogicalFallacy said: You need to...have the great horn thrust upon you. Glory to the unicorn. Chort s'toboy, here we go with the horny goat again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator LogicalFallacy Posted September 26, 2019 Moderator Share Posted September 26, 2019 2 minutes ago, TheRedneckProfessor said: Chort s'toboy, here we go with the horny goat again. And once again you in your ignorance insist on insulting the Great Unicorn. I AM OFFENDED. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted September 26, 2019 Author Super Moderator Share Posted September 26, 2019 2 minutes ago, LogicalFallacy said: And once again you in your ignorance insist on insulting the Great Unicorn. I AM OFFENDED. Nothing to sneeze at, I'd reckon. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disillusioned Posted September 26, 2019 Share Posted September 26, 2019 2 minutes ago, LogicalFallacy said: And once again you in your ignorance insist on insulting the Great Unicorn. I AM OFFENDED. I'm sure that there exists a safe space for you somewhere. But it seems that it is not here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 4 hours ago, TheRedneckProfessor said: This morning, a colleague sneezed. As is my custom, I held up two fingers, made a slight swirl with my hand (to represent the double helix), and "blessed" him by saying "Science save you." Momentarily, a volley of sneezes were emitted in rapid-fire succession. Whereupon my colleague lamented that science must not work. A third colleague happened by at that juncture and responded "god bless you". As if by some strange miracle of pure coincidence, the fit of expectorance immediately ceased and the afflicted colleague was restored to his former state of health. I now have all the proof I need that religion is true and jesus is real. "God bless you." I guess people are just ordering God around as they please these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted September 27, 2019 Super Moderator Share Posted September 27, 2019 IIRC it was once believed that demons could enter you at the moment of a sneeze. I guess asking for god's blessing is logical in context. When someone sneezes by me I simply ask if they're contagious. I don't give a fuck if they're blessed or not. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 After I sneeze I say "Take that." People tend to not say "God bless you" when they hear that. I don't know why. I can only figure they aren't so keen on blessing me when I've turned from innocent victim of a sneeze into some sort of perverted perpetrator of nasal ejaculation. mwc 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
older Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 There are other ways to sneeze than just to go "ACHOO!" Next time, try, "HORSESHIT!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonobserver Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 I'm surprised that no one thought of responding with Jerry Seinfeld's, "You are SO good lookin'!" Am I THAT much older than everyone here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now