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Tsathoggua9

Problems with my sister!

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Well, drat!  My sister, who I depend on for transportation, has decided that she doesn't want to be around me, anymore. We got into it during the ride to work today. She can't abide the presence of an apostate to the one true church (Church of Christ). Such is the mind of a fanatic!

 

We have been able to get along fairly well for the last few years, despite our conflicting views. But, no longer!  Now I'll either have to increase my "Uber budget" considerably, or buy a car.  Curses!

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Any chance she will get over her fear of the possibility that your lack of religious affiliation is rational and renew the relationship?

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2 hours ago, MOHO said:

Any chance she will get over her fear of the possibility that your lack of religious affiliation is rational and renew the relationship?

 

Golly, I dunno! That's up to her. I have no control over her fears and insecurities. 

 

All I know is, this might be a serious bummer for me, financially, in the short run.

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Yes, bummer indeed. It would be nice if they could all coexist with normal people, but some just can't. It's not a good plan to allow them to have emotional or financial manipulation in play, so you'll be better off on your own (after a brief adjustment period).

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Sorry to hear that. I hope my relationship with my sister doesn't deteriorate such despite our diametrically opposed worldviews.

 

Have you considered a scooter or bike for transport? Much cheaper than a car!

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47 minutes ago, LogicalFallacy said:

Sorry to hear that. I hope my relationship with my sister doesn't deteriorate such despite our diametrically opposed worldviews.

 

Have you considered a scooter or bike for transport? Much cheaper than a car!

 

I'm 58 going on 100, healthwise, so scooters and bikes are completely out of the question.

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5 minutes ago, Tsathoggua9 said:

 

I'm 58 going on 100, healthwise, so scooters and bikes are completely out of the question.

 

Sorry to hear that. I guess car/uber/taxi is the only way forward.

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5 minutes ago, LogicalFallacy said:

 

Sorry to hear that. I guess car/uber/taxi is the only way forward.

 

Yup. Can't take the bus, either. Don't like crowds!

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I take the bus. The family member that I car shared with got extremely suspicious when I'd borrow it for a whole day, because you know I have a thing called a social life. After I started taking the bus and spending nights away from the house we both live in she called me a whore, prostitute and a whole bunch of stuff. It's amazing what religion mixed with dementia and paranoia results in. 

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I wonder how many other icky non-Christians she has to talk with during her day. Ooh ick. :)

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13 hours ago, Tsathoggua9 said:

My sister, who I depend on for transportation, has decided that she doesn't want to be around me, anymore

Any idea what changed?  It sounds like shes been fine for a long time, and something has triggered a shift in her.  Perhaps her church has been preaching the subject or some such?  Probably didn't come to the idea on her own.

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8 hours ago, Wertbag said:

Any idea what changed?  It sounds like shes been fine for a long time, and something has triggered a shift in her.  Perhaps her church has been preaching the subject or some such?  Probably didn't come to the idea on her own.

At risk of going off-topic - apologies.

I think you may be highlighting a significant possibility....the influence of pastors.

My sister, who has recently left a mainstream church and joined a fundamentalist one (that's a story in itself) has decided to divorce her husband - even though, in my opinion, he is the innocent party. She seems to me to have developed personality challenges. Most recent event is a vicious message to me accusing me of all sorts of rubbish: probably because I am in regular contact with her husband. This outburst is such that I ask 'where is this coming from?' (not for the first time). An answer that, in my opinion and taking account of my prejudices against fundies, is that her new pastor is influencing her. I find it difficult to believe that the vitriol came out of her own mind. Perhaps the root of her decision to cut me off is more closely associated with my non-theism which her pastor has condemned. Why should I worry? I'm doomed to hell anyway.😮 And, drat, I no longer can accuse her of being influenced by the devil!:eek::eek: 

Tsathoggua9 it seems to me that this could be the source of your difficulties. And these people have no idea of the pain and sorrow that they cause.

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10 hours ago, Wertbag said:

Any idea what changed?  It sounds like shes been fine for a long time, and something has triggered a shift in her.  Perhaps her church has been preaching the subject or some such?  Probably didn't come to the idea on her own.

 

It is too long a story for me to post right now, but it was triggered by what the church people were talking about at the Wednesday night service. Every once in a while, she gets triggered, and expresses her disgust and loathing of my current apostate status. But generally speaking, we can laugh and joke around, almost like normal siblings. 

 

Another thing is, when she goes on the attack, for some reason she expects me to just sit there and take it. She really should know by now (after close to six decades!)  that there is no way in hell I'm gonna do that. I respond by pointing out all the inaccuracies in the bible. But, like so many conservative christians, she can't take what she dishes out.  

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Just got a message from her :

 

"Despite my wishes for you to know god's love and despite your propensity to make fun of my beliefs, if you still need a ride to work, please let me know."

 

Ah, the saga continues!  I hope to derive some more amusement from all this...

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28 minutes ago, Tsathoggua9 said:

Just got a message from her :

 

"Despite my wishes for you to know god's love and despite your propensity to make fun of my beliefs, if you still need a ride to work, please let me know."

 

Ah, the saga continues!  I hope to derive some more amusement from all this...

 

Do you make fun of her religion out of the blue? Or in response to her trying to convert you? Or something else?

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5 minutes ago, midniterider said:

 

Do you make fun of her religion out of the blue? Or in response to her trying to convert you? Or something else?

 

Oh no, not at all! I am respectful of others' beliefs, as long as they don't try to force their shit down my throat. "Live and let live", and all that fun stuff.

 

But, when she (or anybody else, for that matter) attempts to use the bible as a weapon against me, I tend to "go for the throat", and demolish their silly beliefs.

 

A lot of christians think that quoting from their silly book should just immediately reduce unbelievers to tears, or something like that. When people fight back and things don't play out according to their nutty "script", they just can't handle it. Scary stuff for them! So at that point, they cry "persecution". Ridiculous!

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7 minutes ago, Tsathoggua9 said:

 

Oh no, not at all! I am respectful of others' beliefs, as long as they don't try to force their shit down my throat. "Live and let live", and all that fun stuff.

 

But, when she (or anybody else, for that matter) attempts to use the bible as a weapon against me, I tend to "go for the throat", and demolish their silly beliefs.

 

A lot of christians think that quoting from their silly book should just immediately reduce unbelievers to tears, or something like that. When people fight back and things don't play out according to their nutty "script", they just can't handle it. Scary stuff for them! So at that point, they cry "persecution". Ridiculous!

Because she wants to dish it out but not take it, I'd really recommend being completely independent of any assistance if you want to retain some relationship. It easily gets nasty when Christians want to preach and can't respect people's non belief by keeping quiet. 

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17 minutes ago, TruthSeeker0 said:

Because she wants to dish it out but not take it, I'd really recommend being completely independent of any assistance if you want to retain some relationship. It easily gets nasty when Christians want to preach and can't respect people's non belief by keeping quiet. 

 

Good advice! Independence is a worthy goal. Now, if only I had some more goddam money.....

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On 10/3/2019 at 7:49 AM, Tsathoggua9 said:

Well, drat!  My sister, who I depend on for transportation, has decided that she doesn't want to be around me, anymore. We got into it during the ride to work today. She can't abide the presence of an apostate to the one true church (Church of Christ). Such is the mind of a fanatic!

 

We have been able to get along fairly well for the last few years, despite our conflicting views. But, no longer!  Now I'll either have to increase my "Uber budget" considerably, or buy a car.  Curses!

If you still have some way to contact her (email, text, voice message etc.), I would recommend that you send her messages wishing her a nice day and letting her know that you're still thinking of her. If you find out that she needs something, sincerely offer to help if you can. Let her know that you're always there if she's in need, thus heaping coals of fire upon her head.

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3 hours ago, Tsathoggua9 said:

A lot of christians think that quoting from their silly book should just immediately reduce unbelievers to tears, or something like that. When people fight back and things don't play out according to their nutty "script", they just can't handle it. Scary stuff for them! So at that point, they cry "persecution". Ridiculous!

It's the nature of fundagelicalism isn't it? 'Here I stand'.... becomes 'I am the one true faith' .... which being interpreted means 'I am right and everyone else is wrong' .... and  'I'm the only one in step on this parade'.

And it spills over into life outside of religion. Some researchers have shown that there is a certain personality type who is attracted to fundamentalism: it is from this fundamentalism that they work out their prejudices, fantasies, values etc in both religion and general life.

You seem to be accurately describing my sister.

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7 hours ago, Tsathoggua9 said:

 

Oh no, not at all! I am respectful of others' beliefs, as long as they don't try to force their shit down my throat. "Live and let live", and all that fun stuff.

 

But, when she (or anybody else, for that matter) attempts to use the bible as a weapon against me, I tend to "go for the throat", and demolish their silly beliefs.

 

A lot of christians think that quoting from their silly book should just immediately reduce unbelievers to tears, or something like that. When people fight back and things don't play out according to their nutty "script", they just can't handle it. Scary stuff for them! So at that point, they cry "persecution". Ridiculous!

     Yep.  This sucks.  If you can figure out a way to high road her a bit then she may change her tune a little.  Seems when they're doing things like this they're just seeing you as some prodigal son and the suffering you're going through is justified as a part of the process for you to end up back in the flock.  When they see you're not following the script it throws them off.

 

           mwc

 

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8 hours ago, Tsathoggua9 said:

But, when she (or anybody else, for that matter) attempts to use the bible as a weapon against me, I tend to "go for the throat", and demolish their silly beliefs.

 

Here's something to think about: asymmetrical warfare. Instead of meeting aggression with aggression, how about just smiling and not engaging? Agree with her. Called "fogging" by conflict resolution people, it defuses the situation and gives your opponent nothing to leverage with. She says you're going to hell, you don't respect Christians, you're horribly misguided, you just don't care, etc. etc. You say, "Yup. You're absolutely right." 

 

The result is that there is nothing for her to argue with. Not only will she give up, but she'll be frustrated that you've left her with no hand grenades to toss back, so in the end you win.

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5 hours ago, older said:

Here's something to think about: asymmetrical warfare. Instead of meeting aggression with aggression, how about just smiling and not engaging? Agree with her. Called "fogging" by conflict resolution people, it defuses the situation and gives your opponent nothing to leverage with. She says you're going to hell, you don't respect Christians, you're horribly misguided, you just don't care, etc. etc. You say, "Yup. You're absolutely right." 

 

The result is that there is nothing for her to argue with. Not only will she give up, but she'll be frustrated that you've left her with no hand grenades to toss back, so in the end you win.

 

 👍   Excellent advise!

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And if you aren't already doing so, it might help if you pay part of her car expense.

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On 10/5/2019 at 1:00 PM, Weezer said:

And if you aren't already doing so, it might help if you pay part of her car expense.

 

I had been doing that. Don't mind contributing!

 

But, for now, I just gonna do Uber. It will be more expensive, but it is working out okay for me.

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