The start of gods

[♦ Fuego ♦]

I've been going through a powerful emotional time this last month or two. It really is just an annoying thing, not an outright conflict with any danger. But somehow my "fight or flight" programming turned it into a mortal danger of which I need to be terrified. The only threat part of it is loss of sleep, which is a real problem, and an ongoing noise thing which is irritating and senseless. 

 

I have a neighbor who is mentally ill and goes into manic phases. That is the basis for the crazy things she's been doing: quit or fired from her job as a chemical engineer (likely fired), started a business for "extreme sports" where she wanted to rent jet skis, snow machines, and so on (out of her home, which isn't legal here). She's a butch, macho, blustering person. She went out on the river in a jet ski, went way fast and crashed, and died temporarily. They brought her back. After physically recouping, she spent tens of thousands on renovating her home, building an "accessory dwelling unit" to rent in her back yard, and buying lots of sports equipment. She had the entire cul de sac filled with contractor cars doing work at the same time. All during this time, she would blast subwoofer "music" from her new extreme Jeep. It went on for months like this. I started calling the cops to shut down the loud music. She kept it up anyway, sometimes at 4am, often doing it to purposefully antagonize the rest of the neighbors who she sees as "against her". Once I looked out the window at 4am and she and her friends were there looking right back at me laughing. 

 

The cops even got her ex-wife and others involved to try and get her to get help, since they can't lock her up unless she is a danger to herself or others. The cops also won't ticket her unless the music seems "loud" to their ears, even though the law says it can just be an irritating thing like whistling in the street at night. Low frequency noise isn't always "loud", but is difficult, if not impossible, to escape. It actually seems louder in the next house over due to how it moves through the house timbers and reverberates, and try putting your head in a pillow with that coming up through the structure of the house...

 

Here it is months later, I've come back from the edge of a nervous breakdown and am doing a lot of self-talk to try and reprogram my primitive mind to see it as an annoyance, not a threat. Most of my reaction seems over the top to my neighbors, though they are also frustrated and irritated by her behavior. I have a lifetime of being timid and shy (which seems odd given my current state of good physical strength and appearance), and was raised by very basic parents, and my dad loved action movies where the solution to such things was always "shoot them". Of course, in reality you can't do that without going to prison, and I realize that. In short, I had no tools for dealing with the situation. So I organized a meeting with the neighbors, and we talked about our reactions to her behaviors. I also contacted our neighborhood police liaison repeatedly to inform him of her behavior and what we were doing in response. 

 

I had to tell my bosses about it because I was starting to break down emotionally at work. It made them a bit nervous to see me on the verge of tears, but communicated how strongly it was affecting me. I'm doing a lot better now, but have to continually fight anxiety any time I hear a low frequency rumble, which is most of the time since we live near a major airport. It's been a piece of hell.

 

>> I found that I have been earnestly wishing there were a god or demon or something I could appeal to for help beyond the seemingly impotent response from the authorities. I have appealed to the "spirit guide" I once saw in a vision, trying to strike a bargain of some kind, and ultimately realized that this was "magic thinking". Of course, there is no one there but me. But it struck me that this is how gods likely started, with a human being desperate for peace, food, help, and so on. It is also why so many who do believe have such a difficult time questioning or leaving, since it feels like they are giving up all that can make real change on their behalf. <<

 

The plus side for me has been all the self-analysis I've been doing, right back to the early years of my life. I'd wondered why I was so timid and such a target for bullies all the way through high-school. Now I have a much better understanding of that, and understood how much fear I learned from my parents (and the utter lack of learning confidence and coping skills). I've also learned a bunch about the laws, and how no place seems to directly deal with low-frequency noise pollution, even when it is done to bully. I learned about bringing a civil suit, with the goal of costing her money for her actions, the damages being loss of sleep, emotional distress, and ultimately loss of property values if any of us should want to sell. Most attorney's held out little hope, which was surprising to me. The neighbors were for a suit, but we all realize that collecting on damages is a whole other game that would require an attorney. It strikes me as fundamentally wrong that the rest of us should be forced to put up with legit crazy behavior from a bullying neighbor, when the rest of us are good neighbors trying to make our homes and neighborhood better. In business, that would be seen as an opportunity to fill a demand. But all over the world, people are complaining about this issue on forums, and very little is ever found for resolution. Sadly, several have simply resorted to violent crime, and have wasted their own lives as a result instead of getting the peace they sought.

 

I may end up moving with my wife to another place, but there is always the possibility of another jerk doing something similar. I've had other neighbors with subwoofers on their TVs, loud vehicles they like to rev, and some that were crazy to the point of throwing bricks through their own windows. Here's hoping for lasting peace.

 

[older]

That really sucks, Fuego. I'm surprised that the lawyers aren't encouraging. I would think that you could get a restraining order on this nutcase. In the mean time I hope you're collecting evidence, photos, videos, recordings, etc., in case it gets to the point where you have to find a lawyer who will work with you.

 

Sometimes I think the only answer is to buy 140 acres and put the house right in the middle. But then I suspect that true assholes would still find a way to annoy us. When traveling in rural areas I totally get it when I see fortress-like gates and big signs warning of serous consequences for trespassers (My Pit Bull Can Make It From The House To The Fence Line In 14 Seconds. Can You? Or This Property Protected By Smith & Wesson).

[♦ Fuego ♦]

I install security systems at work, but the cost has been so high (around $1000 for just a couple of good cams, I already own good audio gear) I didn't want to set up a camera/audio system. But I may still. The police told me yesterday that 99% of the calls have come from me, rather than my neighbors. I told the neighbors this and one sent an email detailing his experiences with the troublemaker. His description sounds a lot more like meth than mental illness. So we'll see. 

 

[♦ Fuego ♦]

Sekhmet heard me! Glory! 

 

Neighbor taken away to hospital for mental check. She was tossing giant rocks into the street, at houses and cars. Another neighbor called police. She wasn't speaking sanely either. Whee.

She really does need meds or commitment, but in the meantime aren't her caretakers and need to have a stable safe neighborhood. Not sure when she gets released, but we were all advised to get restraining orders for legal teeth. 

 

 

[older]

Well, at least you will get some rest for a few days. Unfortunately, when she is "stable" she'll be back. Yes, do pursue the restraining order. What are the other neighbors' positions on calling the cops and/or getting restraining orders? Can you get them to back you up on the record?

[♦ Fuego ♦]

She's already back home, likely last night. Up until that event, the officers were treating her like she might be the victim of me calling to get her in trouble. Then they got the call from another neighbor lady about her trying to run down a cat with her Jeep, and spewing expletives at her. Then another neighbor sent email to our police liaison about the several events he'd been targeted by her insanity and possible meth use. Then came the rock incident where the officer that had just spoken with her saw her in full freak mode. He got the full picture then of what we'd been seeing. But she didn't go to jail, just to medical eval. 

 

I got a restraining order today, but hearing isn't for 3 weeks. Others picked up the forms from me and I sent them a step-by-step email of how to turn them in at the courthouse. They can also add a temporary restraint in the meantime to forbid contact until the hearing. I should have done that also.

 

Longing for peace and quiet, and nights without her damn subwoofer in my pillow. 

 

I still find myself trying to bargain with the gods. Old habit.

 

[older]

On 11/1/2019 at 7:22 PM, Fuego said:

I got a restraining order today, but hearing isn't for 3 weeks. Others picked up the forms from me and I sent them a step-by-step email of how to turn them in at the courthouse. They can also add a temporary restraint in the meantime to forbid contact until the hearing. I should have done that also.

Glad to see progress. I hope your neighbors will all band together with you and appear at the same time. You can anticipate that she'll just point to you as the problem unless you have some backup.