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bird28

Used to come here years ago...

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I'm Bird28, who used to come here years ago! 

 

What happened to me was I grew up Fundamental Christian and my beliefs were challenged when I went to college.

 

Years down the road I married and still married to someone that is a casual Christian, he believes in prayer and God but well he mostly does what he wants and we don't go to church. But it's still a problem. I really feel like I can't tell him or anyone else I'm not really Christian. 

 

Then if there is a God I have resentment that I ended up bipolar and jobless and poor.

 

Anyway I have a Zoology degree so I now understand why Evolution is real... I was raised STRICT and in fear of hell and I'm still hurt.

 

Looking for support.

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3 hours ago, bird28 said:

Years down the road I married and still married to someone that is a casual Christian, he believes in prayer and God but well he mostly does what he wants and we don't go to church. But it's still a problem. I really feel like I can't tell him or anyone else I'm not really Christian.

 

Looks like you have a decision to make:  go on like this, or make a change.

 

p.s.  You aren’t telling him the truth; how do you know he is telling you the truth?

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3 hours ago, bird28 said:

I'm Bird28, who used to come here years ago! 

 

What happened to me was I grew up Fundamental Christian and my beliefs were challenged when I went to college.

 

Years down the road I married and still married to someone that is a casual Christian, he believes in prayer and God but well he mostly does what he wants and we don't go to church. But it's still a problem. I really feel like I can't tell him or anyone else I'm not really Christian. 

 

Then if there is a God I have resentment that I ended up bipolar and jobless and poor.

 

Anyway I have a Zoology degree so I now understand why Evolution is real... I was raised STRICT and in fear of hell and I'm still hurt.

 

Looking for support.

 

Hey Bird-

I'm glad you came back. Hang in there, and let us know what you need...

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Hi,

         You could use maybe some expert counselling, if that could really be in your means? Therapy really helped me in some things especially body based or EMDR.         

          Yeah, I would not put anything in science as ok Evolution is real, or that kind of thinking. I mean, science goes through paradigm shifts. And it depends on what you say when you say evolution is real. Most Christians would agree that there is inter-species variation and adaptation. I mean the ancient Jews were herders, so raising cattle and sheep would mean selective breeding to get the best breed. And one of the first theoreticians of genes and genetic tranmission was Mendel, a Christian, and a an Augustian Friar and abbott. And Big Bang theory was proposed and supported by a Jesuit, George Lemaitre. The whole issue is with very ancient things, with the apparition of life, abiogenesis and genesis in general. One does not have a time machine, so these things are wholly speculations, albeit very informed ones. I might get flogged as a science heretic for saying this, but scientists have the same propensity for group think. I mean Max Planck said that the way new ideas about truth are welcomed is when the old guard dies. And Richard Dawkins has the exact same theatrics as a Christian preacher. And his same everyone who does think like is stupid or INFECTED by a MIND Virus, like some christians think everyone who does think like them is influenced by Satan. 

         And about the problem of suffering. I mean, if one really reads the Gospel and early Christian history, one can expect extreme misery to befall his way. I mean one Orthodox writer even said that physical troubles are a sign of God s favour. So yeah... I also have a problem with this approach myself. But the whole idea of christianity seems an extreme version of the marshmellor test, suffer now, enjoy more later. Delayed gratification at its absolute. For some people is a necessary coping mechanism in case of extreme tragedy. 

         

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On 11/16/2019 at 3:03 PM, bird28 said:

 

Then if there is a God I have resentment that I ended up bipolar and jobless and poor.

 

Looking for support.

 

Be sure to keep taking your medication.

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I tell people all the time I'm not a fundy or an Xtian. In fact I tell them straight away that I am an atheist - family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers.

 

I get responses...

1. met too!

2. you should reconsider that.

3. I believe in god but not Christ.

4. I am spiritual

5. I will change your mind ("good luck, penis breath!")

6. blank stare

 

You know What?...

 

I live through it.

It usually is not awkward.

I stay married (your actual mileage may vary)

I am still friends and on speaking terms will all

 

So buck up and let it rip. You'll feel better! <<HUG>>

    - MOHO (Mind Of His Own)

 

 

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4 hours ago, MOHO said:

I tell them straight away that I am an atheist

I prefer to say that I'm not religious, that I don't believe in gods or spirits in any way. I avoid the term "atheist," because some Christians use it as a pejorative. Also, many people don't understand what an atheist is and think that it is some sort of belief system or that atheism is an anti-Christian movement. (Yes, some atheists are anti-Christian, but those are two different things.)

 

Now I really don't care what Christians think but the reality of it is that to have a dialog with them it is easier to use language that they understand, so I avoid "atheist" because of the connotations it brings up in their minds.

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I used to tell people that I am an atheist.  A common response was, “You mean you are an agnostic”; and I would say, no, I mean atheist.  Then I would have the talk with them that every agnostic, like every other person on earth, is either a theist or an atheist; and sometimes I would get into active vs. passive atheism.  Now, to save all that, I just say that I am not a believer.  I think it is a better description.

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Good points @older and @TEG

 

nonbeliever or not religious are more socially acceptable terms.

 

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Labeling yourself invites argument and getting a negative label.  My 10 year old grandson lost "friends" because he told a friend his mother didn't believe in god.  My daughter and sister don't use any term to describe themself.  If questioned about religion or belief in god, they say, "religion is a personal issue, and I prefer to not discuss it."  And they refuse to discuss it any further unless they are convinced the person is open minded, and truly intetested.  The discussion usually ends there.  HA!  My grandson now has the answer memorized.  But he obviously is now wrestling with concept of god after the extreme reaction he got from a couple of friends.  He is at that age where kids want right/wrong answers.

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I just tell people I'm an atheist.  I don't care if some consider the term pejorative.  I'm too old to worry about what other people think. People need to know we are here,

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3 hours ago, Ro-bear said:

I just tell people I'm an atheist.  I don't care if some consider the term pejorative.  I'm too old to worry about what other people think. People need to know we are here,

Hear! Hear!

 

I was in my forties when I stopped caring what other people believed or thought. Thirty years later I have even less interest in walking on tiptoe through the minefield of stupid.

 

How you doing, Ro?

 

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I sort of think my husband might already know because I started to refuse to pray, but he responded with "If you don't pray you'll go to Hell, but it's your choice."

 

I really hate being threatened with hell.

 

If you want to know how bad it was, my very fundie grandma raised me, and when I was 18.... Yes I was a legal adult, she found out I was playing Pokemon, yes Pokemon, and she heard on Christian radio it was evil so she literally yelled at me for hiding it from her.

 

The little old lady who is my neighbor is very devote too. With Christian books stacked all over the place, I wonder how much she payed for them all O_O;

 

And I was raised with evolution is so bad that Pokemon is evil partially because Pokemon evolve. In college I dared to study Zoology.... Yeah, I tried defending Noah's ark in a paper I wrote and got a bad grade.

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19 hours ago, florduh said:

Hear! Hear!

 

I was in my forties when I stopped caring what other people believed or thought. Thirty years later I have even less interest in walking on tiptoe through the minefield of stupid.

 

How you doing, Ro?

 

I'm doing well, mostly.  It's been an eventful year.  The highlights are prostate surgery, retirement, and a trip to Africa.  You can see my Africa photos on Facebook with a side of Ro-bear humor.  No photos for those other things.  I follow you on Facebook.  I want to be like you when I grow up.

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1 hour ago, Ro-bear said:

I'm doing well, mostly.  It's been an eventful year.  The highlights are prostate surgery, retirement, and a trip to Africa.  You can see my Africa photos on Facebook with a side of Ro-bear humor.  No photos for those other things.  I follow you on Facebook.  I want to be like you when I grow up.

 

Aim higher.

 

I enjoyed the Africa albums. I'm sure people here are interested in your well being too.

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15 hours ago, bird28 said:

I sort of think my husband might already know because I started to refuse to pray, but he responded with "If you don't pray you'll go to Hell, but it's your choice."

 

I really hate being threatened with hell.

 

It's quite insulting, isn't it? Nobody would be stupid enough to "choose" to go to a place where they'd be tortured forever.

 

A lot of Christians can't wrap their heads around the fact that there are people who really don't believe, and the best response they can come up with is regurgitating a thoughtless, idiotic threat based solely on their fairy tale.

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4 hours ago, Ro-bear said:

I'm doing well, mostly.  It's been an eventful year.  The highlights are prostate surgery, retirement, and a trip to Africa.  You can see my Africa photos on Facebook with a side of Ro-bear humor.  No photos for those other things.  I follow you on Facebook.  I want to be like you when I grow up.

 

Good to see you also @Ro-bear!  Stay for awhile! We miss you!

 

Good luck with the surgery! 

(hug)

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On 11/16/2019 at 5:03 PM, bird28 said:

I'm Bird28, who used to come here years ago! 

 

What happened to me was I grew up Fundamental Christian and my beliefs were challenged when I went to college.

 

Years down the road I married and still married to someone that is a casual Christian, he believes in prayer and God but well he mostly does what he wants and we don't go to church. But it's still a problem. I really feel like I can't tell him or anyone else I'm not really Christian. 

 

Then if there is a God I have resentment that I ended up bipolar and jobless and poor.

 

Anyway I have a Zoology degree so I now understand why Evolution is real... I was raised STRICT and in fear of hell and I'm still hurt.

 

Looking for support.

 

Hi Bird28! Wecome back! Good to see you..... although I'm so sorry you are going through a hard time right now. I understand you want to keep peace in your home. But at what price? You can't be who you really are? Thank goodness he is only a casual christian. Does he know the whole bible or just the part that says if you believe in jesus you will go to heaven and if you don't, you'll go to hell? Because if that's all he knows, I would let his comments run like water off a ducks back. Sometimes we have to choose our battles in a relationship. Or I would start to joke about it. I'd tell him how lucky he is to go to heaven. Or you can tell him the truth about who you are. If you don't mind answering (and you don't have to) how strong is the marriage? This is an important factor. Do you mostly enjoy a good companionship with him?

 

Hun, I personally believe (just my opinion) that the more we get real about who we are, the more ''un-bi-polar'' we become in our moods. Even if you have the diagnosis of bi-polar, taking back your power will help so much.

 

 I have wasted a lot of years being resentful for different things that have happened to me in my life (And I even caused some of those situations) and I have learned that it is literally the biggest waste of time. You will become bitter and unhappy. (I did) Don't do this to yourself. You are the only one who holds the key to your life. You are the only one who can put that key in the door and step into something new. Don't let fear and resentment from your past  stop you anymore. If you didn't get one job, try another and another until you get hired. You have to put the work in. Stay here for awhile and read and post! You will get so many good answers from the board.They will  give you their opinions about the situations you are in.  You will find out how many others have  dealt with things in life and something might help you. So  keep us posted on how you are doing! The very best to you.

 

(hug)

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Our relationship is okay, but he has tons of medical issues, etc... The stress of dealing with him in the hospital all the time is worse than anything else.

 

He's the sort of person that actually grew up atheist and sort of picked up some things from people he was around, but doesn't really know a lot.

 

In my family, I have two athiest cousins, a couple more Pagan, but the rest are really fundie, and a couple are JWs and they really drive me crazy thinking I'm vulnerable to conversion. 

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