Any similar experiences?

[◊ Weezer ◊]

33 minutes ago, AcrobaticDetective said:

 

I'm lamenting the loss of tradition. But I don't think it's depression (not like my normal depression). I think it might be grief. 

 

 

Valid observation!

[TruthSeeker0]

36 minutes ago, AcrobaticDetective said:

 

I have sadness around leaving my church--as well as how I may have damaged my children in some way by raising them in a church. I'm lamenting the loss of tradition. But I don't think it's depression (not like my normal depression). I think it might be grief. 

 

I watched two birds today sitting very comfortably on a wire. It was low 30s but they looked warm as toast. It brought me comfort.

The grief is normal. It helped me immensely in reading Marlene Winell's work, she discusses the stages one goes through. They aren't fixed and can even reappear at odd times. I still have grief but it's over lost relationships. 

 

I love birdwatching. I took it up again a couple years ago after over a 10 year break. 

[BookOfMicah]

On 2/7/2020 at 10:56 PM, AcrobaticDetective said:

Since losing my faith and religious beliefs, I have noticed some things changing for me.

 

• I feel more connected to the earth and the universe. Not necessarily in a spiritual or mystical way. I want to say primal, but I can't quite explain it. 
• My life long depression seems to be be noticeably better. 

 

Any similar experiences? 

After the initial state of panic and mental grappling with a sudden shift in my worldview (even one that had been declining over time), I can say that this does sort of apply to me, but in a different way.  

It didn't help that my religious awakening immediately preceeded my marriage's decline (they weren't related, just poor timing) so I can't say with any certainty that my emotional state was improved any.  In fact my initial feelings, and ones that I still grapple with to this day, were feelings of bitterness.  I basically felt as though I'd been cheated out of 24 years of a healthy upbringing (ex-Mormon here, with all the emotional shunting that goes with that).  I was frustrated that my otherwise very intelligent parents could still believe such nonsense and that they used this nonsense to brainwash my siblings and me (there is some specific instances of emotional abuse that come to mind, but I'll set them aside for now to as not get too off-topic). 

Having had time to sort of piece it together and settle (mostly) on what I believe, I would say I feel more balanced than anything else.  Contrary to the popular Christian line of "without God, life has no meaning" I actually feel that my life has more meaning now than it did.  I feel like I'm alive for more reasons than just the whim of some supreme being and that my life can be whatever I choose to make it.  I no longer deal with the crippling guilt of being a horrible sinner.  I openly embrace myself the way I am, while still acknowledging the areas I need to improve on.  

Moreover, I feel I no longer waste any energy feeling obligatory gratitude to a God.  The gratitude I feel for the change in my life is for those around me who have helped make it a reality.  I take a little pride in my achievements, while still recognizing that I have had a lot of help.  So I guess in that way I feel more genuinely connected to "my people" for lack of a better word.  

 

[AcrobaticDetective]

BookOfMicah,

Thank you for sharing your story. I feel more connected now as well, but I have been struggling with a lack of purpose and meaning.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

22 minutes ago, AcrobaticDetective said:

 

I feel more connected now as well, but I have been struggling with a lack of purpose and meaning.

 

I looked to nature while searching for purpose and meaning.  Decided that every living thing strives to grow and live, and has conditions under which they/It grows best.  So I decided to make it my purpose to study what makes humans grow and live best, and promote whatever does that.  That has worked for me.

 

Actually I started that while still a christian, but later dropped the idea of working for God, and working my way into heaven, and taking everyone I could with me.  Afterward I simply did it because I thought it in the best interest of humanity.

[AcrobaticDetective]

Thank you, Weezer.