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freedwoman

I Am Free

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Hello everyone. I stopped being a Christian at exactly 12/25/2012. After becoming one on 8/13/2007 8:30 PM. I've suffered horrible abuse in the name of God. Feared I committed the unforgivable sin. Read about how inferior I am as a woman. Read I  am going to Hell if I don't repent of my bisexuality. 

 

I have had some positive experiences with Christianity though. I even felt the beautiful "First Saved" feeling. I loved and worshiped Jesus Christ with all my soul. I seriously wished to become a Christian martyr. I wanted to die to prove my love for Jesus to him. I couldn't wait to go to heaven and spend eternity with my saviour. The only man I could and would ever submit too. I've read the entire Bible cover to cover twice. The new testament 5 times. And some books and verses multiple times. I wanted to remain single so I could serve my God, my master instead of some man.  My biggest goal in life was to be a Bible scholar. 

 

Anyway. After a long battle with the Bible. Plus the horrible spiritual suffering I faced. (Exactly how I suffered and what I saw and heard is too graphic and inappropriate to list here), and reading all the contradictions in the Bible, I left the faith behind. 

 

The true word of God would not have even 1 contradiction or misunderstanding. 

If God was real he would have NEVER allowed anyone to have such images. 

 

It was a hard choice to make. But I finally had enough and found the courage to leave Christianity behind for good. 

 

The abuse I suffered got even worse after I left that religion.

 

I never got any support after I left or even before I left and sought support. Instead all I got was judgement and condemnation from other christians. 

 

I now suffer one of the worst cases of Religious Trauma Syndrome, Theophobia, Thenatophobia, and Anthropophobia with greater androphobia than gynophobia.

 

Too many people have, still, and will continue to suffer and die because of this religion. 

 

But thankfully I got out of that abusive situation shortly after leaving the faith.

 

I hope to support others. And help my fellow women understand their worth and that we are equal to men. And be a shoulder for people to cry on. I also hope to receive support as well. 

 

Much respect to you all. Thank you for having me.

🤗

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Welcome! I just found this site like two weeks ago. Slowly going through the deconversion process and accepting that I am further on the lesbian side of bisexual lol. It seems impossible to find local people to talk to so these forums are the next best thing. I wrote parts of my story under Still Untangling if you want to read it. So sorry to hear about whatever awful things you have experienced 

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Thanks sister. Very much appreciated. I would enjoy reading your post. Can you please send me the link? 🙂

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Welcome to our community.  I trust you will find help and healing here.  If there's anything I can do for you, just holler.

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Welcome! Feel free to ask questions.

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Welcome. I hope you find a safe community here.

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Welcome to Ex-c freedwoman! So glad you found us! Looking forward to hearing more about your journey!  

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4 hours ago, freedwoman said:

Hello everyone. I stopped being a Christian at exactly 12/25/2012. After becoming one on 8/13/2007 8:30 PM. I've suffered horrible abuse in the name of God. Feared I committed the unforgivable sin. Read about how inferior I am as a woman. Read I  am going to Hell if I don't repent of my bisexuality. 

 

I have had some positive experiences with Christianity though. I even felt the beautiful "First Saved" feeling. I loved and worshiped Jesus Christ with all my soul. I seriously wished to become a Christian martyr. I wanted to die to prove my love for Jesus to him. I couldn't wait to go to heaven and spend eternity with my saviour. The only man I could and would ever submit too. I've read the entire Bible cover to cover twice. The new testament 5 times. And some books and verses multiple times. I wanted to remain single so I could serve my God, my master instead of some man.  My biggest goal in life was to be a Bible scholar. 

 

Anyway. After a long battle with the Bible. Plus the horrible spiritual suffering I faced. (Exactly how I suffered and what I saw and heard is too graphic and inappropriate to list here), and reading all the contradictions in the Bible, I left the faith behind. 

 

The true word of God would not have even 1 contradiction or misunderstanding. 

If God was real he would have NEVER allowed anyone to have such images. 

 

It was a hard choice to make. But I finally had enough and found the courage to leave Christianity behind for good. 

 

The abuse I suffered got even worse after I left that religion.

 

I never got any support after I left or even before I left and sought support. Instead all I got was judgement and condemnation from other christians. 

 

I now suffer one of the worst cases of Religious Trauma Syndrome, Theophobia, Thenatophobia, and Anthropophobia with greater androphobia than gynophobia.

 

Too many people have, still, and will continue to suffer and die because of this religion. 

 

But thankfully I got out of that abusive situation shortly after leaving the faith.

 

I hope to support others. And help my fellow women understand their worth and that we are equal to men. And be a shoulder for people to cry on. I also hope to receive support as well. 

 

Much respect to you all. Thank you for having me.

🤗

Welcome! Christianity breeds patriarchy, which is poisonous for women as their lives become subject to the dictates of men. I'm so glad you saw through it and know your true worth. That can be a struggle for me even 3 years after leaving (the indoctrination was deep on that level). 

We have a chat room on discord as well if you'd like to join there. 

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You're both safe from all of that BS here with us!!! And you have deconverted support if you need it. 

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Welcome to X-Xian! I'm so glad to hear you're free, and I'm sorry to hear what terrible stuff you've been though. You're in control of your life, but they go through great lengths to make sure you don't figure that out.

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Welcome freedwoman! This is a wondeful place for those who are truly free from the shackles of the church, Glad to have you here!

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Glad you’re here and glad you broke free from the chains of Christian bondage.  

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Welcome. 

 

Could you present in more detail your conversion experience? And what you think of it now? 

 

I ask because it is a very interesting subject and one I grapple with to this day and something you often see in christian testimonies.

 

Personally, that bit in St Paul always struck me as strange,  about women being silent in the church given that the Orthodox histories of saints comprise women missionaries and some orthodox romanian preachers greatly emphasized the role of women and especially mothers in educating their children. And that obedience thing...but as everything in church theology I cannot help but be puzzled at the moment.

 

 

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1 hour ago, Myrkhoos said:

Personally, that bit in St Paul always struck me as strange,  about women being silent in the church given that the Orthodox histories of saints comprise women missionaries and some orthodox romanian preachers greatly emphasized the role of women and especially mothers in educating their children. And that obedience thing...but as everything in church theology I cannot help but be puzzled at the moment.

 

Women play roles in the gospels and acts; but then you have those two places where Paul says women are to be silent in the churches, and not to teach or have authority over men.  And the last verse of the gospel of Thomas had to reflect someone’s opinion:

 

Simon Peter said to him, "Let Mary leave us, for women are not worthy of life."
Jesus said, "I myself shall lead her in order to make her male, so that she too may become a living spirit resembling you males. For every woman who will make herself male will enter the kingdom of heaven."

 

Sounds like there was a real divide back then about the role of women.  Sure makes me want to adopt the bible as my rule of faith and practice . . . .

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Welcome welcome! Very new myself, but always happy to see a new face. 

I'm sorry to hear that you have been through the wringer because of your decision! :(

I hope things are better off for you now, or at least are getting better.  It is always preferable to be living true to yourself than conforming to somebody else's prescribed identity for you.  It might be painful, but never let somebody else dictate the parameters of your life.  

Hope you enjoy your time here!  

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Welcome! Glad to have you.

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12 hours ago, Myrkhoos said:

Welcome. 

 

Could you present in more detail your conversion experience? And what you think of it now? 

 

I ask because it is a very interesting subject and one I grapple with to this day and something you often see in christian testimonies.

 

Personally, that bit in St Paul always struck me as strange,  about women being silent in the church given that the Orthodox histories of saints comprise women missionaries and some orthodox romanian preachers greatly emphasized the role of women and especially mothers in educating their children. And that obedience thing...but as everything in church theology I cannot help but be puzzled at the moment.

 

Sorry. I can't now. But when I am in a better emotional state of mind I will. 

🤗

 

 

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