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Goodbye Jesus

Religious Jokes


Wertbag

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If you meet God and He sneezes, what do you say?

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They say that when you die you become closer to God.

Because you no longer exist, right?

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If God really made everything…

He’s Chinese, right?

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How do you teach a bunch of kids about God—who He is, and what He does?

Gather them all in a classroom. Then never show up.

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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike, until I realized the Lord doesn’t work that way.

So I stole one and asked Him to forgive me instead.

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How many religious people does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and demand you accept that the light is still on.

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Who was the smartest man in the Bible?

Abraham. He knew a Lot.

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How long did Cain hate his brother?

As long as he was Abel.

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Need an ark?

I Noah guy.

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  • 3 years later...

How does Moses make his coffee?

HEBREWS IT!!

 

Y'know, I would make a joke about Samson's hair...

But I don't think that the punchline would quite cut it.

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