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Religious Jokes


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If you meet God and He sneezes, what do you say?


They say that when you die you become closer to God.

Because you no longer exist, right?


If God really made everything…

He’s Chinese, right?


How do you teach a bunch of kids about God—who He is, and what He does?

Gather them all in a classroom. Then never show up.


When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike, until I realized the Lord doesn’t work that way.

So I stole one and asked Him to forgive me instead.


How many religious people does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and demand you accept that the light is still on.


Who was the smartest man in the Bible?

Abraham. He knew a Lot.


How long did Cain hate his brother?

As long as he was Abel.


Need an ark?

I Noah guy.



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