My Story

[SoulRebel95]

Hello All,

 

     Firstly, I hope that you all are well during this challenging time. I found this site today actually, because I was just looking for support. I would like to share my story and hope to connect to any other individuals who have similar stories and maybe we can just support one another on our journeys.

   My family was very religious and the practice of Christianity goes back generations. I am of African American decent and so religion and church in general played a huge part in my ancestors lives, post slavery. It gave the black community a safe space to socialize and just have a sense of peace. Unfortunately, what many of them did not understand and still don't is that Christianity was forced on them and their original African spiritual practices were stripped from them. So fast forwarding to my Grandmother and Mother, they continued the traditions of going going to church and reading the bible and believing that the only way to salvation was through the blood of jesus. In the 90's though my mother left the traditional black church and joined a church called " The International churches of Christ." Now I could really go on and on about that church but to keep it simple.. They believed that they were the one true church, and had their members believing that they had to share all of their sins with their leaders before they could be considered able to join the kingdom of god. So yes, my Mother joined that church and then my grandparents did as well. I was born in 1995 and so was raised in the church from birth to around 7 or 8. Fortunately, my Mother had a wake up call and realized the toxicity of that church and removed my family from it but my Grandparents remained members and are till this day.

      After my Mother removed us from that church we spent years basically church hopping. She was trying to find a new church home for us, but we never truly settled anywhere. As for how christianity affected my childhood, I grew up thinking that having crushes on boys was wrong, I couldn't listen to any music with bad words,  I was told that I was a sinner and the only way I could be good was if I gave my life to god and asked him for forgiveness and many other things. Finally, in 2014 my mother and I found these Youtube videos exposing christianity and it's lies. From that day on we have never looked at christianity the same way again.

      As of now I am now on my own journey trying to find what I believe and agree with and what I don't. I found Yoga in 2016 and that truly has opened my mind to a whole new understanding of life itself. Unfortunately, I had to move from my home with my mother and step-father due to their issues causing me emotional and psychological trauma, to live with my still devout christian Grandmother. She is who I am quarantined with at this time, and It is very difficult at times hear her on the phone say things like, " people need to wake up and come to god during this time" or " People just need to repent from their ways and not turn their back on god". It just angers me because she and her friends act as if they know the truth and everyone else is beneath them. She says "they are the ones that are called" and as a person who is now receptive to all philosophies and ideas about life and the higher power and afterlife, having to be with someone on the total opposite side mentally is challenging. Currently, I am finishing my associates degree and have a plan to move in 2022, so I know this is temporary and I know that her ways are just based on ignorance but  I can't sit back and say that to encounter that type of energy consistently isn't draining. 

   I am grateful to have yoga and meditation as practices to help me cope with my current circumstances and I am grateful to have found this website and hope to connect to others trying to adjust to a life free of constraints from a psychologically traumatizing philosophy. 

 

All the best,

[older]

1 hour ago, SoulRebel95 said:

I can't sit back and say that to encounter that type of energy consistently isn't draining. 

  

Welcome. I can't imagine the mental exhaustion you are experiencing. This space is for people like you so feel free to come here and vent any time you need to. Do explore our forums. I hope you'll contribute to the discussions. And stay safe.

 

(And I hope that your degree is progressing in spite of the school closures.)

[DanForsman]

Hi SoulRebel. Welcome. I'm so glad you felt strong enough to question the religious beliefs you were indoctrinated with while growing up. I'm sure this big change must feel disorienting at times and having to frequently give weight to beliefs expressed by your grandparents that no longer have any significance to you must be challenging and wearing as you say. The good news is that you no longer need to block or redirect your reason as you choose your world view and make day to day choices and decisions. I'm sure you will develop a strong reason based foundation that will serve you well moving forward. The particular difficulties you face while living with your grandparents will pretty completely vanish as soon as you are able to leave and in all likelihood will never ever return again. Stay with us for at least a while and keep us up on what your thinking about or what's troubling you, etc. Many of us have lived contentedly without christianity for many years and even decades so there is a good chance we'll have some knowledge of whatever you might be going through as you continue to define your own life on your own terms. You made a really good choice for your future happiness and that's great. Congratulations!     

[Geezer]

The ICOC is recognized as a religious cult. That is a nasty, deeply brainwashed, group of folk. You were fortunate to escape them.  Leaving religion is difficult. Religious Trauma Syndrome is a real thing and it usually takes years to work through the brainwashing and free yourself from the fear that is the foundation that Christianity has been built on.

 

Welcome aboard, I think you will discover we are all on a similar journey, so we understand what you’re experiencing. The first step, severing your ties with religion, is the most difficult one. It does get easier after that and with the passing of time. This site will be very helpful for you during your journey.

 

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that some of the most bigoted people on the planet are also some of the most religious.

[SoulRebel95]

12 hours ago, older said:

  

Welcome. I can't imagine the mental exhaustion you are experiencing. This space is for people like you so feel free to come here and vent any time you need to. Do explore our forums. I hope you'll contribute to the discussions. And stay safe.

 

(And I hope that your degree is progressing in spite of the school closures.)

 

@older  Yes the exhaustion can be overwhelming some days but I just try to remember that my Grandmother's actions are not personal and that she is  just deeply ignorant. Thank you so much for the welcome and yes all my classes have moved online so definitely have had to make some adjustments but i'm figuring it out! Stay safe as well and yes I look forward to contributing and learning on here very much!

[SoulRebel95]

9 hours ago, DanForsman said:

Hi SoulRebel. Welcome. I'm so glad you felt strong enough to question the religious beliefs you were indoctrinated with while growing up. I'm sure this big change must feel disorienting at times and having to frequently give weight to beliefs expressed by your grandparents that no longer have any significance to you must be challenging and wearing as you say. The good news is that you no longer need to block or redirect your reason as you choose your world view and make day to day choices and decisions. I'm sure you will develop a strong reason based foundation that will serve you well moving forward. The particular difficulties you face while living with your grandparents will pretty completely vanish as soon as you are able to leave and in all likelihood will never ever return again. Stay with us for at least a while and keep us up on what your thinking about or what's troubling you, etc. Many of us have lived contentedly without christianity for many years and even decades so there is a good chance we'll have some knowledge of whatever you might be going through as you continue to define your own life on your own terms. You made a really good choice for your future happiness and that's great. Congratulations!     

@DanForsman Thank you so much for your response. I agree with what you said about the difficulties that I am dealing with right now, it's true she truly is one of my last connections to christianity in my life right now, and once I am away I do believe I will have even more space to figure out my truth fully. It's so reassuring to know that so many other people have left the religion and are living wonderful lives, unlike how they think people end of living terrible existences. Much respect and I look forward to more discussions! 

[Aqualung]

Welcome SoulRebel! Your story shows you have incredible courage and strength. I hope you are able to find peace and freedom on your journey out of indoctrination.

[SoulRebel95]

2 hours ago, Geezer said:

The ICOC is recognized as a religious cult. That is a nasty, deeply brainwashed, group of folk. You were fortunate to escape them.  Leaving religion is difficult. Religious Trauma Syndrome is a real thing and it usually takes years to work through the brainwashing and free yourself from the fear that is the foundation that Christianity has been built on.

 

Welcome aboard, I think you will discover we are all on a similar journey, so we understand what you’re experiencing. The first step, severing your ties with religion, is the most difficult one. It does get easier after that and with the passing of time. This site will be very helpful for you during your journey.

 

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that some of the most bigoted people on the planet are also some of the most religious.

@Geezer  oh wow thank you so much for making that statement about the ICOC! Yes, whenever I am around them it seems so cult like and just unnatural!  I do my best to keep my distance because their energy is very off. Thank you so much for the welcome and I look forward to learning more on the site!

[SoulRebel95]

1 minute ago, AyahuascaPhoenix said:

Welcome SoulRebel! Your story shows you have incredible courage and strength. I hope you are able to find peace and freedom on your journey out of indoctrination.

@AyahuascaPhoenix Thank you so much! I really do feel like it takes a lot of courage to leave something that for so long told you it was the only way!  I truly am just looking for like you say peace and freedom! I don't have any fear though and I am excited for what lies ahead for me! 

[MOHO]

Welcome to Ex-C, @SoulRebel95.

 

Living with an authority figure (you are living in her house) is trying when that figure is hell-bent on ramming their superstitions down your throat. Sometimes you must do the unthinkable and play along with some of it until you are out on your own.

 

I am in a similar situation in my unequally youkedness and I understand how it can be. What really chaps my hide is when, and Mrs. MOHO is all about this, they spew their nonsense in a tone that suggest YOU are the ignorant, sinning, un-knowing little turd. They have authority over you because they are thumping their bible. This is also true of the asshats (I LOVE that vernacular) who are holding church services against quarantine orders and actually using that defiance to PROVE to their flock  that Jesus has their collective backs.

 

Back to you. Glad you found us and I hope we can provide some comfort and comradely during your tough time.

    - MOHO (Mind Of His Own)

 

[LeiaBryant]

16 hours ago, SoulRebel95 said:

Hello All,

 

     Firstly, I hope that you all are well during this challenging time. I found this site today actually, because I was just looking for support. I would like to share my story and hope to connect to any other individuals who have similar stories and maybe we can just support one another on our journeys.

   My family was very religious and the practice of Christianity goes back generations. I am of African American decent and so religion and church in general played a huge part in my ancestors lives, post slavery. It gave the black community a safe space to socialize and just have a sense of peace. Unfortunately, what many of them did not understand and still don't is that Christianity was forced on them and their original African spiritual practices were stripped from them. So fast forwarding to my Grandmother and Mother, they continued the traditions of going going to church and reading the bible and believing that the only way to salvation was through the blood of jesus. In the 90's though my mother left the traditional black church and joined a church called " The International churches of Christ." Now I could really go on and on about that church but to keep it simple.. They believed that they were the one true church, and had their members believing that they had to share all of their sins with their leaders before they could be considered able to join the kingdom of god. So yes, my Mother joined that church and then my grandparents did as well. I was born in 1995 and so was raised in the church from birth to around 7 or 8. Fortunately, my Mother had a wake up call and realized the toxicity of that church and removed my family from it but my Grandparents remained members and are till this day.

      After my Mother removed us from that church we spent years basically church hopping. She was trying to find a new church home for us, but we never truly settled anywhere. As for how christianity affected my childhood, I grew up thinking that having crushes on boys was wrong, I couldn't listen to any music with bad words,  I was told that I was a sinner and the only way I could be good was if I gave my life to god and asked him for forgiveness and many other things. Finally, in 2014 my mother and I found these Youtube videos exposing christianity and it's lies. From that day on we have never looked at christianity the same way again.

      As of now I am now on my own journey trying to find what I believe and agree with and what I don't. I found Yoga in 2016 and that truly has opened my mind to a whole new understanding of life itself. Unfortunately, I had to move from my home with my mother and step-father due to their issues causing me emotional and psychological trauma, to live with my still devout christian Grandmother. She is who I am quarantined with at this time, and It is very difficult at times hear her on the phone say things like, " people need to wake up and come to god during this time" or " People just need to repent from their ways and not turn their back on god". It just angers me because she and her friends act as if they know the truth and everyone else is beneath them. She says "they are the ones that are called" and as a person who is now receptive to all philosophies and ideas about life and the higher power and afterlife, having to be with someone on the total opposite side mentally is challenging. Currently, I am finishing my associates degree and have a plan to move in 2022, so I know this is temporary and I know that her ways are just based on ignorance but  I can't sit back and say that to encounter that type of energy consistently isn't draining. 

   I am grateful to have yoga and meditation as practices to help me cope with my current circumstances and I am grateful to have found this website and hope to connect to others trying to adjust to a life free of constraints from a psychologically traumatizing philosophy. 

 

All the best,

Welcome to ex-christian.net , being the only "true" and "right" way to do things is a hallmark of a cult. I'm a ex-cult member (specifically ex-NIFB) I am glad you escaped. When I left I went searching for spirituality and found Wicca. I hope you find a path that is as fullfilling to you as witchcraft was for me. If I can do anything to assist on your spiritual journey don't be afraid to ask. I will answer any question I can.

[LeiaBryant]

4 hours ago, Geezer said:

...

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that some of the most bigoted people on the planet are also some of the most religious.

Amen brother preach!

[MOHO]

2 hours ago, LeiaBryant said:

Amen brother preach!

You and @Weezer are BOTH NUTZ!

 

My wife and her son are the most accepting of white, heterosexual, gun-toting, ultra-conservative, well-dressed, non-cursing, non-sinning, god-fearing human beings, that I know.

[Geezer]

3 hours ago, MOHO said:

You and @Weezer are BOTH NUTZ!

 

My wife and her son are the most accepting of white, heterosexual, gun-toting, ultra-conservative, well-dressed, non-cursing, non-sinning, god-fearing human beings, that I know.

Even my Christian wife got a kick out of that one MOHO. She’s a Methodist, and they don’t tend to be bat poop crazy fundies.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

WELCOME, SoulRebel !  I grew up in a mainline Church of Christ, and remember when the International group came along.  They were considered cults from the beginning by most of the mainline groups, but I remember a few members going off to join them.  I am glad you got out.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

6 hours ago, MOHO said:

 

You and @Weezer are BOTH NUTZ!

 

HEY!  I take pride in being nutz!

[LeiaBryant]

3 hours ago, Geezer said:

Even my Christian wife got a kick out of that one MOHO. She’s a Methodist, and they don’t tend to be bat poop crazy fundies.

Has she ever hear of the NIFB. The make regular fundies look tame. edit: https://nifbcult.com

[◊ Weezer ◊]

6 minutes ago, LeiaBryant said:

Has she ever hear of the NIFB. The make regular fundies look tame 

 

What is NIFB?

[LeiaBryant]

Just now, Weezer said:

 

What is NIFB?

New independent fundamentalist Baptist look at this: 

https://nifbcult.com/what-is-the-nifb-movement/

[◊ Weezer ◊]

12 minutes ago, LeiaBryant said:

New independent fundamentalist Baptist look at this: 

https://nifbcult.com/what-is-the-nifb-movement/

 

Wow!  I see why you got out.

[Geezer]

9 hours ago, LeiaBryant said:

Has she ever hear of the NIFB. The make regular fundies look tame. edit: https://nifbcult.com

Yeah, I looked them up after reading one of your prior posts. There are different versions of the Church of Christ and their most conservative version is pretty close to NIFB.  But yeah, the NIFB appears to qualify as a bat shit crazy religious cult. 

[LeiaBryant]

19 hours ago, MOHO said:

You and @Weezer are BOTH NUTZ!

...

Why am I nutz?

[LeiaBryant]

On 4/5/2020 at 9:00 PM, SoulRebel95 said:

...

After reading your opening post I did some research, I want to recommend my favorite YouTuber who made a video about the church of Christian .  

i recommend checking the rest of his content out. He is a ex-cult member (EX Jehovah's witness) and he does great work fighting cults.

[Myrkhoos]

Hi there. Hope you will be allright. Nothing really to add. Maybe, if you have not already, be careful with yoga and meditation.  Many founders of modern yoga movements were sexual abusers like the founder of hot yoga Bikhram . Matthew Remski has a book about the subject of cults in that area. And by the way traditional indian and eastern societies in general are quite sexist by western standards to the point of Thailand refusing to rekindle the tradition of buddhist nuns mandated by the Buddha himself.  Be careful in general, actually. I consider destructive groups to have the hallmark of reducing and blocking you. Like a school system where instead going from primary school to university you go from university to kindergarten and kept there on a loop. I added quite a lot actually!

[MOHO]

1 hour ago, LeiaBryant said:

Why am I nutz?

 

Ohhhhhhh!

Geezer - not Weeaer.

My bad...

 

...to which I made reference to the two main fundy figures in my life being TOTALLY tolerant of ALL walks of life - as long as they fit into the very narrow (I hope) cross-section of the population who are just like themselves.