Relationships

[FreeFromGuilt]

How has your relationship with your significant other changed since your deconversion? 

[MOHO]

Oh OH OH

me first me first meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

Glad you asked, @FreeFromGuilt.

 

Mrs. MOHO still loves me but, up until I assured her, under the risk of bolstering her superstition, that I would NOT take the mark of the beast after she is raptured, she spent way-the-hell too much time trying to convince me that Jesus is the way.

 

We no longer go to church together because I don't go to church! 

 

She spends more time with jesus freak videos and sermon re-broadcasts.

 

She wonders "What ELSE I LIED to her about!" Because, as you all know, none of us ever were "true" believers.

 

I am annoyed with the humming of jesus freak music. OK. I ALWAYS hated that! I don't know why.

 

I realize I made a BIG BIG mistake 20+ years ago but I don't vocalize that.

 

Other than that...we're good.

[FreeFromGuilt]

@MOHO wow that's rough.

 

I'm fortunate that my spouse also stopped believing a few months ago like I did. We are just now trying to figure out what our lives look like as unbelievers. 

[MOHO]

1 minute ago, FreeFromGuilt said:

@MOHO wow that's rough.

 

I'm fortunate that my spouse also stopped believing a few months ago like I did. We are just now trying to figure out what our lives look like as unbelievers. 

I envy you.

I really do! 

 

When I think of how much more intimate our relationship wold be if she could be real instead of "walking with the lard" all the damn time. When I think of how much nicer the so very few vacations would be if we did not have to race home on Saturday so she could go to church on Sunday...and Wednesday night...and Tuesday AM women's Bible study. Or what we could do with the thousands of $$$ that go to pastor asshat each year.

 

Now I'm depressed.

I hope you SLEEP tonight, @freedwoman!  

[Guest freedwoman]

1 hour ago, MOHO said:

 

Now I'm depressed.

I hope you SLEEP tonight, @freedwoman!  

Wtf is this about? Be a man and tell me bluntly what you mean to say.

[♦ Fuego ♦]

Moho's last bit was intended as humor, if I may, and not a slam.

 

- - - - - - -

My wife and I quit church long before quitting Jesus. It took me a good year after the first crack in the faith to process my way out. She soon followed. 

[◊ Weezer ◊]

4 hours ago, MOHO said:

 

I hope you SLEEP tonight, @freedwoman!  

 

 

Moho will need to answer, but I am thinking it may be one of those predictive text mistakes.  Or autocorrect.  Was it supposed to read "freefromguilt"?  It has happened to me several times, and can be embarrasing.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

My wife came from a family where not not everyone was a practicing Christian, so it wasn't a real big deal when I left, but in some ways the relationship is different.  There is underlying resentment.   She seldom goes to church, but says she doesn't feel right by not going.  Blames me.  Says she doesn't like going and sitting by herself.  To me it seems like a "game" (it's your fault that I am unhappy) she plays,  but we won't go there.

 

It really does change the social dynamics, especially what to do on Sunday.  And who your friends are.  I worked for a church related program for years, so most of our friends were church members.  

[MOHO]

15 hours ago, freedwoman said:

Wtf is this about? Be a man and tell me bluntly what you mean to say.

OH.

Sorry about the mixup, @freedwoman.

That was meant as sarcasm to @freefromguilt for prompting me to ponder my situation with Mrs. MOHO. The little mooning dude was intended as an indication that I'm  trying to be humorous.

 

In no way would I ever say something to someone here to be mean or put them down.

[buffettphan]

MOHO and I are in similar boats and I'll use MOHO's post as examples for me too. (Thanks MOHO!)

 

Here at Ex-C, I have referred to Mr. Buffettphan as my DFH --DearFundyHubby.  You are really fortunate that your husband stopped believing when he did.  I'm sure life will be so much smoother, easier, and fun!

 

Mr. Buffettphan says he still loves me, but I think he loves the idea of saving my soul more than anything.

 

I only go to church for weddings and funerals.  Oh, and my grandkids school functions.  Yes one set of them is on the dark side too, although they aren't as fanatical.

 

He spends more time with his jesus-freaks friends (or as I call them "fiends"), videos, and sermons.

 

I was never a true believer either.  Even worse I was raised Catholic and we know how they are!  (He was raised Catholic too, but that's different.)

 

I get super annoyed at his jesus-freak music.  He thinks he can sing, so that makes it even worse.   

 

I don't talk about my Big Mistake of 1973.  I try not to dwell on the past. (See below)  And most days I guess I wouldn't change it because without him, I wouldn't have my kids and grandkids.  But as they say, you can't miss what you never knew......

 

Edited to add one more thing.   I HATE all the money that has been wasted through the years on his propaganda,  brainwashing, and pastors' new cars.

 

Mr. Buffettphan and I do have a lot of similar values because we are both good people.  I am the evidence that you can be good without god.  He on the other hand believes it takes His God to be a good person.

 

So other than that, we're good too....    

 

 

 

 

 

Jimmy Buffett > Quotes > Quotable Quote

“Oh, yesterdays are over my shoulder,
So I can't look back for too long.
There's just too much to see waiting in front of me,
and I know that I just can't go wrong.”

― Jimmy Buffett

 

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/155113-oh-yesterdays-are-over-my-shoulder-so-i-can-t-look

[buffettphan]

@FreeFromGuiltHere's a little of my story.  

 

My husband and I married in 1973 after 2+ years of dating.  We were both raised Catholic, but neither of us attended church.  I had stopped believing while in high school.  He just kinda shrugged off religion because as he says "the only reason I was raised catholic was so my mom could attend their bingo parties."    Anyhow we had our first child after being married for about 5 years and our next one a couple of years later.   We always said we were going to wait to have kids to make sure our marriage "clicked".  (In retrospect, how stupid was that!?!)  

 

About a dozen years into our marriage, someone he worked with managed to brainwash my otherwise very intelligent husband.   To this day I really don't understand how or why he fell for that garbage.  But he did and our lives changed forever.   After his conversion, I decided to re-evaluate my position on christianity.  Maybe I was young and dumb when I made that decision?  So  I went with him to all the various churches he tried as he searched for the perfect one.  I read and studied the bible every day.   Suddenly he started tithing and spending less time at home and more time with his christian fiends.  He volunteered for everything the church wanted.   He felt guilty about everything and still does.  After a year or so, I realized I just could never go back to christinsanity.   About the same time, on Easter Sunday, his church preached to the kids in children's church that if they got  Easter Baskets, they were going to hell and so were their parents.  DON"T MESS WITH MY KIDS!  I told DFH that was it.   Neither the kids nor I attended church with him again.

 

So for 30 years, we've had the "agree-to-disagree" program going on in our marriage.    It hasn't always been easy, but like I said above, we are both good, decent people with mostly similar values.   But I wish he would remove those god-goggles and see reality.  He would be so much happier and I bet his stress and blood pressure would go down too!

[Guest freedwoman]

1 hour ago, MOHO said:

OH.

Sorry about the mixup, @freedwoman.

That was meant as sarcasm to @freefromguilt for prompting me to ponder my situation with Mrs. MOHO. The little mooning dude was intended as an indication that I'm  trying to be humorous.

 

In no way would I ever say something to someone here to be mean or put them down.

Sorry about that. I overreacted. I hope you will forgive me.

[DanForsman]

18 hours ago, MOHO said:

Oh OH OH

me first me first meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

Glad you asked, @FreeFromGuilt.

 

Mrs. MOHO still loves me but, up until I assured her, under the risk of bolstering her superstition, that I would NOT take the mark of the beast after she is raptured, she spent way-the-hell too much time trying to convince me that Jesus is the way.

 

We no longer go to church together because I don't go to church! 

 

She spends more time with jesus freak videos and sermon re-broadcasts.

 

She wonders "What ELSE I LIED to her about!" Because, as you all know, none of us ever were "true" believers.

 

I am annoyed with the humming of jesus freak music. OK. I ALWAYS hated that! I don't know why.

 

I realize I made a BIG BIG mistake 20+ years ago but I don't vocalize that.

 

Other than that...we're good.

Wow that's really heavy about which way to go after the rapture regarding taking or not taking the mark of the beast. I mean if we don't take it we'll need to steal from those who took the mark or possibly band up with other unmarked ones and try to assault some not so heavily defended preppers' bunker or should we drain the 401K ASAP and build a heavily armed and fortified and stocked to the hilt bunker of our own? I could still have my wife to worry about but you'll be ahead of the curve on that one. Good on you there MOHO! Another side benefit of funding the wife's church. So much to weigh out! Thanks for alerting me to this rather massive concern.

   But why I'm responding here is about something else you brought up and I realize it may be too personal  of a question but you did bring it up so... what else have you lied to that dear sweet Mrs MOHO about? Has she made any discoveries to date? How does she react to your posting on this site?

[MOHO]

29 minutes ago, DanForsman said:

Wow that's really heavy about which way to go after the rapture regarding taking or not taking the mark of the beast. I mean if we don't take it we'll need to steal from those who took the mark or possibly band up with other unmarked ones and try to assault some not so heavily defended preppers' bunker or should we drain the 401K ASAP and build a heavily armed and fortified and stocked to the hilt bunker of our own? I could still have my wife to worry about but you'll be ahead of the curve on that one. Good on you there MOHO! Another side benefit of funding the wife's church. So much to weigh out! Thanks for alerting me to this rather massive concern.

   But why I'm responding here is about something else you brought up and I realize it may be too personal  of a question but you did bring it up so... what else have you lied to that dear sweet Mrs MOHO about? Has she made any discoveries to date? How does she react to your posting on this site?

 

@DanForsman,

 

No lies with the exception of posting here. I claim to be involved with NO social media whatsoever and, with the exception of Ex-C, that is the truth. Well, unless you conciser technical (Stack Overflow) and musical forums to be social media. But she knows about those. But, what I mean is no Facebook or anything that would identify the poster. So, in her mind, I lied to her 20+ hears ago on our first date when I said I was a Christian. I figured I was as I was raised LDS and, for chist's sake EVERYONE in the U.S. is xtian, RIGHT? That should have been a red flag to us both but she's so attractive and we got on swimmingly and we danced together so well. (Ball room, Country, swing). And here I am this bespectacled little computer geek and well...lower brain stem took over.  Over the years I became a practicing xtian but reality seeped in around the edges...then became a trickle...then a steady stream...you know.

 

I would not mind if she knew I was posting here but I have said some things that may not be so flattering regarding the reasons why she is drawn to indoctrination and how she seems to be addicted to the authority she feels xanity bestowes upon her.

 

Did I answer your question?

 

 

 

[MOHO]

47 minutes ago, freedwoman said:

Sorry about that. I overreacted. I hope you will forgive me.

 

I am sooo tempted to say something smartasticall here but that would be really immature. I'm not saying that I'm NOT immature....I'm not NOT saying it.

See there I go again.

 

Thank you for the apology and I hope you accept mine if I made you feel unloved in anyway.

[DanForsman]

from MOHO: Did I answer your question?

Totally. The whole reply I made was just in fun so any response was going to be great. I kind of think it would be hard for Mrs MOHO to read through some of your posts regarding your feelings about her actions but I'm sure there isn't anything you've posted here she hasn't heard from you one way or the other already. I know it is very helpful for readers to have some candid reflections on how the christian and non christian marriage relationships have worked out and especially the cautionary aspects that you make no attempt to gloss over. As always i love reading your posts/replies.

[Guest freedwoman]

59 minutes ago, MOHO said:

 

I am sooo tempted to say something smartasticall here but that would be really immature. I'm not saying that I'm NOT immature....I'm not NOT saying it.

See there I go again.

 

Thank you for the apology and I hope you accept mine if I made you feel unloved in anyway.

No worries bro. We're cool.

[Guest freedwoman]

Well I'd like more friends but my abnormal mind refuses to let me. I don't mean to piss people off but I do. I am truly remorseful for how I act and what I say. I do like and respect the members here still. But to be honest I wouldn't be friends with me either.

 

That said. Stay safe everyone. Hope everyone is doing well.

[DanForsman]

2 hours ago, DanForsman said:

 

2 hours ago, MOHO said:

 

@DanForsman,

 

No lies with the exception of posting here. I claim to be involved with NO social media whatsoever and, with the exception of Ex-C, that is the truth. Well, unless you conciser technical (Stack Overflow) and musical forums to be social media. But she knows about those. But, what I mean is no Facebook or anything that would identify the poster. So, in her mind, I lied to her 20+ hears ago on our first date when I said I was a Christian. I figured I was as I was raised LDS and, for chist's sake EVERYONE in the U.S. is xtian, RIGHT? That should have been a red flag to us both but she's so attractive and we got on swimmingly and we danced together so well. (Ball room, Country, swing). And here I am this bespectacled little computer geek and well...lower brain stem took over.  Over the years I became a practicing xtian but reality seeped in around the edges...then became a trickle...then a steady stream...you know.

 

I would not mind if she knew I was posting here but I have said some things that may not be so flattering regarding the reasons why she is drawn to indoctrination and how she seems to be addicted to the authority she feels xanity bestowes upon her.

 

Did I answer your question?

 

 

 

 

This idea has popped into my head about Mrs MOHO posting here sometimes and giving the flip side about her frustrations as a true christian trying to live with a husband who turned on her spiritually. Just to hear her thoughs could be very interesting. 

[MOHO]

23 minutes ago, DanForsman said:

This idea has popped into my head about Mrs MOHO posting here sometimes and giving the flip side about her frustrations as a true christian trying to live with a husband who turned on her spiritually. Just to hear her thoughs could be very interesting. 

That WOULD be interesting and helpful to all of us but there's no way that would happen unless she deconverts and I can tell you, just as certain as our darling president is going to say something inappropriate for a head of state tomorrow, that Mrs. MOHO will NEVER deconvert. Nope. And she would never read one word here as she is so hopelessly superstitious that the mere thought of doing so would send her into a tizzy of incantations, prayer for forgiveness for interacting with the dammed, swinging a dead chicken over her head, giving $$ to the indoctrination machine, and washing the feet of the bums down town.

 

Hmmmmmmmmm.... some of that might prove entertian...meh...NOT.

[Geezer]

Mrs Geezer is still a Christian (Methodist) but no longer attends church services. She’s okay with me being a nonBeliever. Religion doesn’t come up much anymore. She still attends some of her church social functions and I’m okay with that.

[DanForsman]

1 hour ago, MOHO said:

That WOULD be interesting and helpful to all of us but there's no way that would happen unless she deconverts and I can tell you, just as certain as our darling president is going to say something inappropriate for a head of state tomorrow, that Mrs. MOHO will NEVER deconvert. Nope. And she would never read one word here as she is so hopelessly superstitious that the mere thought of doing so would send her into a tizzy of incantations, prayer for forgiveness for interacting with the dammed, swinging a dead chicken over her head, giving $$ to the indoctrination machine, and washing the feet of the bums down town.

 

Hmmmmmmmmm.... some of that might prove entertian...meh...NOT.

I see. Well it would take some bravery. Even I felt a tinge of reluctance signing up on this site. I was thinking that since she would immediately identify as a christian upon joining that maybe that would be enough to keep her from feeling like her feet had been knocked from her and she had begun a terrifying free fall but most apparently the opposite is the case no matter how clearly she is allowed to identify as any type of christian she chooses. Too bad. I feel like I know enough about her that I would really like to hear what she might have to say.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

On 4/14/2020 at 5:59 PM, FreeFromGuilt said:

How has your relationship with your significant other changed since your deconversion? 

More butt stuff.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

On 4/15/2020 at 5:56 PM, DanForsman said:

I see. Well it would take some bravery. Even I felt a tinge of reluctance signing up on this site. I was thinking that since she would immediately identify as a christian upon joining that maybe that would be enough to keep her from feeling like her feet had been knocked from her and she had begun a terrifying free fall but most apparently the opposite is the case no matter how clearly she is allowed to identify as any type of christian she chooses. Too bad. I feel like I know enough about her that I would really like to hear what she might have to say.

 

My wife also will not "touch" this forum with a ten foot pole.  Although she seldom goes to church, and never reads her bible, she will not read my story (testimony) of deconverting.   And when I have tried to talk with her about it, she will literally cover her ears and run out of the room.  It is quite an enigma.