To Mother's Day or No

[Edgarcito]

Not a religious subject  but you people are decent friends.... thought I'd ask.  Move the thread please if necessary.  I just have no inclination to wish my mother Happy Mother's Day this year.  She's 80+ and all the qualities that have produced issues in her children are accentuated as she ages.   I realize it would hurt her feelings, but it's like to a point of, "you need to stop these behaviors before you die" type scenario.  She's lucid enough where she would understand, but would be hurtful to her.  The Christian thing to do is apply Grace, wish her well, and move on.  Thoughts/opinions would be helpful.  Thx.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

I feel exactly the same way about my mom.  It might interest you to know that the agnostic thing to do would also be to apply grace, wish her well, and move on.  Because, you know, morals and such.

[Edgarcito]

39 minutes ago, TheRedneckProfessor said:

I feel exactly the same way about my mom.  It might interest you to know that the agnostic thing to do would also be to apply grace, wish her well, and move on.  Because, you know, morals and such.

Thanks....I expect there are better days to bring those conversation to the forefront.  Thanks again.

[florduh]

Not knowing the specifics I can't weigh in. What I do know is that sometimes a family member needs to be cut off and set adrift like a leaky dingy with rotting fish strewn about the deck. But that's just me....

 

Good luck and I guess you do whatever makes you feel best.

[TABA]

I don’t see a good reason not to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day.  It might bring her a moment of joy, even if she doesn’t deserve it.  Is that so bad?  Other conversations can be had tomorrow.  
 

My father in law is 87 and experiencing deepening dementia.  The negative aspects of his personality have been amplified.  Looking back over the past few years, it’s very hard to tell now where his personality ends and the dementia begins.  His quality of life is not good, partly due to his glass-is-always-half-empty outlook.  But his meds have kept his body strong even as his brain is turning to mush. Rather sad. 

[TheRedneckProfessor]

1 hour ago, florduh said:

Not knowing the specifics I can't weigh in. What I do know is that sometimes a family member needs to be cut off and set adrift like a leaky dingy with rotting fish strewn about the deck. But that's just me....

 

Good luck and I guess you do whatever makes you feel best.

I might have used a dinghy in describing my relationship with my mom.  But, yeah, she's pretty dingy, too.

[florduh]

59 minutes ago, TheRedneckProfessor said:

I might have used a dinghy in describing my relationship with my mom.  But, yeah, she's pretty dingy, too.

Ops! Type-O. My Misteak.

 

[Edgarcito]

I called....it was innocuous.  Life moves on.  Thanks for the help.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

I also spoke to my mom.  I wished her a Crappy Mother's Day.  She assumed I said "Happy."  Perception is 90% of reality.  

 

I'm a good son.

[DanForsman]

Maybe the moment has past but I just saw this. You could call her and say the necessary words but then go on to explain that you almost didn't call because she has become so negative. Maybe say some of the things you like about her that you would like to see more of. Ultimately it's her call on whether to act or even whether to hear but you would get your chance to explain what's bothering you and to offer a potential solution.

p.s.  I see you called so this is a possibility for next year then or possibly a different occasion.