Stupid theory cage fight

[Wertbag]

Welcome to the arena for tonight's main event, where we will see the champion Young Earth facing off against the number one contender, Flat Earth.  Already tonight we've seen an upset win of 5G Mind Control getting the submission on 9/11 Was An Inside Job, although I'd have to say 9/11 is looking well passed his prime.

 

With no further delay lets introduce our fighters for this 5 round match.  In the blue corner is the challenger, Flat Earth.  Having quite a resurgence recently, he earned his title shot with a 1st round KO of Microchips in Vaccines, his stupid power is immense but will it be enough to take on our champ?  Young Earth, a champ on his third defence of his title with his last victory over Lizard People in Media, a truly brutal beating it was too.

 

The fighters are ready and the bell sounds for the first round.  YEC comes out swinging, a blistering "all fossils were placed by Satan" sends FE wheeling back, but not to be outdone FE returns fire with a quick one two "The moon is a projection" and "gravity isn't real".  YEC throws a head hunting high kick "Men lived with dinosaurs", but FE ducks under and the two grapple in the middle.  YEC pushes him up against the cage, firing off a "God placed light from distant stars half way to us" which opens a cut over FE's eye.  FE is no slouch when it comes to dirty boxing, and a thundering "secret navy guards the icewall" knocks YEC back and gives him some breathing room.

 

The two fighters circle each other, blood now running from YEC's nose, while FE's eye is swollen shut.  YEC looks to attack first with a "global flood caused all terrain features everywhere", but FE blocks and counters with a "space doesn't exist, you can't get passed the dome".  Oh no, YEC is staggered by the stupidity of that strike, he falls to the ground and FE quickly leaps on him in an attempt to finish.  FE rains down shots "No one has ever crossed Antarctica" and "the Antarctic treaty means no one can go there".  But wait, YEC throws his legs up and sinks in a triangle choke, he throws all his strength into one last stupid attack "Population growth was 150 times faster back in the day because that makes the maths work so it must be right!".  The stupid is strong, and yes that is it, FE has tapped out, the mind numbing stupidity just too much to handle.  

 

YEC's arm is once again raised in victory.  Can anyone beat this powerhouse of stupid?  There's still Crystal Healing and Vaccines Cause Autism waiting for their chance, but after tonight's display they will be massive underdogs against our reining champ.