Trials and Tribulations

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

Hey everyone,

    I wanted to post this in testimonials just because I feel it needs to be here. 

     When I first joined this site I posted a topic in this forum titled the Bitter sweet red pill. Where I likened this experience to the movie "The Matrix". It seemed to resonate well with everyone.. Here is the link for your reference. 

 

 

Its been over 4 years since I wrote that and the rabbit hole definitely goes deeper. I had to take some time off from this site because of issues revolving around my deconversion. This path isn't an easy path for everyone. I didn't even realize how much my life was entangled in religion. Even after backsliding before my deconversion. Anyone who has been keeping up knows that this event greatly affected my relationship with my wife. I thought we would make it for awhile but unfortunately it didn't. Our marriage ended this week after 12 years, 2 months, and 1 day. 

     I'm telling you that because this is a life changing event. Just as Neo's life was changed in the matrix mine was too. It isnt something that can be switched on and off.  Once you really start digging into the hows and why's parts of the bible were written, there is no more believing. 

       And I want you to know that even though I lost my wife. And had to endure some straight up bullshit at times, I would still not change the path I've taken. It is better to have your life changed forever and live knowing the truth than to live a life of lies believing in a false God. I guess in a way one of my most frequent prayers was answered. When I was Christian and especially when I was preaching I would pray daily that God grant me wisdom in his will, in his way, and in his Word. I see the truth in all that now. It takes time and it doesn't stop after you take that red pill. That is just the start. It is important that someone who is deconverting study. Study secular research pertaining to the Bible. My favorite is Bart Ehrman. His works have opened my eyes to so much more than I ever saw as a Christian. The way he is able to explain the Bible, relating it to proven history, makes it very easy for even a country boy like me to understand. When I'm reading one of his books there are many times I think of scriptures I've read and I say to myself, "so thats why it was written like that." His works and the works of other scholars have been able to answer those questions I had when I was still a believer. The same questions that the other pastors were unable to answer. The ones that you just have to have "faith" in. Faith is a teaching to keep you in the shackles of religious oppression. Deconversion breaks those chains. And in my opinion study is the key to a successful deconversion. 

     If your coming to the conclusions that many of us had. Be prepared that your life may have some bumps in the road because of this, but always keep in mind that there is light at the end of the tunnel and peace in the knowledge of truth. All the dogma of the Bible no longer holds you down. You can be you. The you you were meant to be. Chase your dreams and goals. Dont ever give up on them. Its you that makes your life now. Not some deaf and Dumb God with an outdated instruction book.

      Be happy to just be yourself. Thats what I'm going to do now. My parents know I dont believe anymore, and I'm free to find someone now that shares the same views as me. The light at the end of the tunnel is closer now than it has been in a long time and I look forward to what is in store.

      If anyone ever wants to talk. Feel free to hit me up on PM. I want to help this community as much as possible. Yall helped me more than you'll ever know. I didn't have anyone when I first deconverted. But this community was here for me when I needed it. Thank you all for all you did. 

     

Sincerely,

Dark Bishop

[TheRedneckProfessor]

Everybody wants to be on the mountaintop, but if you'll remember, mountaintops are rocky and cold. There is no growth on the top of a mountain. Sure, the view is great, but what's a view for? A view just gives us a glimpse of our next destination-our next target. But to hit that target, we must come off the mountain, go through the valley, and begin to climb the next slope. It is in the valley that we slog through the lush grass and rich soil, learning and becoming what enables us to summit life's next peak.

~Andy Andrews